Canadian Social Rules

[Arca]

Hi, I was born and raised in another country and don’t always understand what’s appropriate in some social situations. My 6-year old daughter playing outside got invited by her 7-year olds friends to come inside yard or home. I am not sure if it’s ok or not to let her go. From my side, I am perfectly fine to let her go and wouldn’t mind someone else’s kids in our place, it’s a common practice in our country ( I myself stayed outside). But I am not sure how it’s done in Canada. Other parents let her in, but they are _always_ nice and polite, so I have no idea at all what they _really_ think. I saw other kids visiting each other, however, it looks like parents have some social ties as well, whereas in my case we just say “hi” to each other and exchange a few words here and there. So, would it be appropriate to let my daughter except such invitations?

[vibrantflame]

In my experience, children don't always remember to ask their parents if it's okay to have friends over. And I think most of us would feel awkward asking a child to leave once they are there. So, personally, I tell my kids to ask their friend's Mom or Dad if they can come over. At our house, their friends are allowed in the yard whenever they want but my kid's have to ask before they can have someone in the house.

[Zonny]

Our DS is 8, and we've just recently started having 'playdate' situations with a kid who lives in the apartment building next to our house. I will admit I'm a bit overprotective, don't want him going places by himself. But this building is about a quarter block away, he doesn't need to cross the street or even a driveway. He asked to go over there tonight after supper, DH watched him go. The first few times DH went with him helped him ring the apartment, etc. Now that he goes by himself, we watch him make his way there from our deck. DS knows that if the kid is not home, or they say they're busy right now, etc., you come right back.

This kid comes over here sometimes too, without notice. We're all fine with this. One time early on the kid came over with his Dad, who said he was going somewhere for three hours, and we said no, that was too long. And if we need to get ready to go somewhere when kid is here, we walk him back to ensure someone is home (I would hope that parents wouldn't leave while their kids are out, but I don't know).

We're kind of learning about this too, and we were born and raised here!