People who want you to beg for the money you loaned them

[TooCouponCrazy]

Wow, what a story. I cannot imagine being in your situation. Hope things get resolved soon and you get your money back. Good luck.

[hollyquaiscer]

If you and dh have truly had enough of their crap, take it to court. You have proof in the way of FB, text messages and so on. Small claims court goes up to I believe $5000 so not only will you get your money back, but make sure you file for them to pay all court costs and filing fees too. Yes, it will cause a riff within the family, but it seems they have no intention of paying you guys back any time soon. If, with the judgment they still refuse to pay, you can hire a sheriff to reprocess as many items as necessary to pay you in full, plus the sheriff's fees. It would probably be in their best interest to pay, it would be cheaper.

By serving them with court papers, they will know you mean business. They should settle at that time You have done nothing wrong and owe nobody an apology.

[torontogal12]

So what ended up happening?

[nainai0585]

Nothing has happened just yet. I stated that I would wait until Dec. 1, and unlike J, I keep my word, BUT if my money is not in my hands by midnight on the first, I will be filing court papers first thing on the 2nd. Unfortunately J is no longer permitting her dh to spend time with mine, but my dh says that he is over it and J's dh (his first cousin) has made his bed and he can sleep in it.
Hollyquaiscer, thanks for letting me know what to do if she still refuses to pay after she looses in court. I was actually concerned that I would be in the exact same boat as I am now.

[jamesfranco]

My mother is in a similar situation with my brother. Once he and his five kids were evicted from their house she told them that she would rent them one of the houses her husband (my step-father) owns. For the first year she got the rent, but now they haven't paid rent in years, and have purchased two brand new vehicles and have made multiple trips to Cuba. And he always sends his kids over to her house to borrow cleaning products, and food, and to get cigarettes.
Not to mention I told my mother I wanted to buy her fireplace off of her a couple Christmas' ago, and instead of selling it to me she gave it to my brother who owes her thousands of dollars free of charge. Then she has kids like me who struggle with mortgage payments.

It drives me crazy when I coupon with her and she gets mad if I get like 200 optimum points off of her purchases, she gets pissed off at me for 20 cents but doesn't get mad at my brother for robbing her blind.

[torontogal12]

You may want to discuss your legal options with someone. If you wait until December you may miss a legal window that requires you to do something. I am not a lawyer or anything, but it's possible there may be a maximum amount of time you are required to act so worth asking someone who knows.

Nothing has happened just yet. I stated that I would wait until Dec. 1, and unlike J, I keep my word, BUT if my money is not in my hands by midnight on the first, I will be filing court papers first thing on the 2nd. Unfortunately J is no longer permitting her dh to spend time with mine, but my dh says that he is over it and J's dh (his first cousin) has made his bed and he can sleep in it.
Hollyquaiscer, thanks for letting me know what to do if she still refuses to pay after she looses in court. I was actually concerned that I would be in the exact same boat as I am now.

[nainai0585]

You may want to discuss your legal options with someone. If you wait until December you may miss a legal window that requires you to do something. I am not a lawyer or anything, but it's possible there may be a maximum amount of time you are required to act so worth asking someone who knows.

Thanks, luckily I have checked the Alberta small claims court website and they outlined very well what my legal options are when it comes to claiming the amount she owes me, along with what I can do if she refuses to still pay even when the Judge has ordered her to...and I am assuming due to her fantastic character, I will have to take additional measures after the court battle to get my money.

[shop til I drop]

I am so sorry you have to go thru this.
My dh lender 1500 to a very close friend because he didn't have the money to keep the lights on and the heat going (it was winter at the time). So feeling sorry for the kids more than anything he gave home the loan not a GIFT but a loan. First it was 30 days, then 6 months now we are in our 1 yr and 6 months and still with excuses. Now my dh is not working and I am slowly getting back to work and still no money. He comes up with every excuse under the moon and me and my dh have to suffer.

[nainai0585]

I am so sorry you have to go thru this.
My dh lender 1500 to a very close friend because he didn't have the money to keep the lights on and the heat going (it was winter at the time). So feeling sorry for the kids more than anything he gave home the loan not a GIFT but a loan. First it was 30 days, then 6 months now we are in our 1 yr and 6 months and still with excuses. Now my dh is not working and I am slowly getting back to work and still no money. He comes up with every excuse under the moon and me and my dh have to suffer.

Though our reasons for giving the loan is very different, it sounds like we have two people who are exactly the same.

What gets me the most too is her entire family will state immediately that when you borrow money from J, she expects is back when your next cheque comes in, and she will continue to hound you until you give it to her, but when borrowing money from others, she tries her best to avoid paying people back. Unfortunately this information (from 1 of her many children) came to me a little too late. At least she knows exceptionally well now that she'll never be able to borrow money from me or dh's family, ever. She's burned her bridge so badly, that unfortunately she'll never be able to repair it with her in-laws (my dh's aunt and uncle) and the rest of her dh's family.

[tjthemanto]

The worst are the ones , who borrow small amounts of money , hoping that it won't be noticed and you will forget it and will be to embarrassed to ask for it back.

but they are not embarrassed to ask you for it !

Can I borrow a bus ticket ? Can I borrow some lunch money ? Can you buy me some coffee ?..the list goes on and it all adds up.

Then you see them drinking some expensive Starbucks coffee or some expensive lunch , with your money !..( mostly your co-worker's who do that , not so much your friends )

While you are drinking Tim's coffee and lunch brought from home !

[Landior]

nainai0585, I am so sorry you are going through this (and I am sorry to all those in this thread who have experienced something similar). I can't believe how incredibly nasty this J is being towards you and your dh. I know you have already told her that you will take this to court, but perhaps you could elaborate by saying that you have evidence that she has agreed to pay you the $ back and let her know that you have familiarized yourself with the policies and procedures of Alberta's Small Claims Court, so that she knows you mean business? You could let her know that if she chooses this route, not only will she have to pay you the money she owes you but also your legal fees. This could speed up the process.

I am also happy to hear that A is doing much better and is out of that toxic situation. It is nice to know that your family is there for her as a support system.

I am also happy for you that J will soon be out of your life, though I am sorry it had to happen like this.
Best of luck

[tjthemanto]

I am so sorry you have to go thru this.
My dh lender 1500 to a very close friend because he didn't have the money to keep the lights on and the heat going (it was winter at the time). So feeling sorry for the kids more than anything he gave home the loan not a GIFT but a loan. First it was 30 days, then 6 months now we are in our 1 yr and 6 months and still with excuses. Now my dh is not working and I am slowly getting back to work and still no money. He comes up with every excuse under the moon and me and my dh have to suffer.

Doesn't look like you are getting it back

The least thing they can do, is pay you back in installments , if not at once !..like say $ 250 or so each month, so paid off in 6 months.

[Rick C]

Sorry to hear about all the issues, first though yes clearly keep the text message and don't modify/delete etc anything about the phone she acknowledged the debt. Second it's July, you've been waiting well over a year by if I understood the account properly? Don't wait till Novemeber, slap the small claims court on her NOW don't wait, you've waited and been patient long enough, this person is a user.

Anytime I LOAN money now, I have the person sign a paper recognitzing the debt, the repayment time etc. Even my kids. Why? Because it's more then a "legal" paper, its alsoa moral obligation they are signing. I acknowledge its a debt, I will repay it by THIS time, you don't pay? I will sue and take you to court.

Small claims will look at this and choose in your favor no doubt so just go to town now, that way no bull.

As for "apologies" you owe her now for asking for what is rightfully yours, in ANY manner you asked, it's YOUR money she spent, not hers.

[Seedco]

Only loan what you can deal with emotionally, should they not pay it back. I will lend my friend $50 because if he doesn't pay it back, it was worth the amount to find out he is 'one of these' types.

The economy is making everyone think that borrowing is okay, look at banks offering lines of credit to kids.. its ridiculous! Not that I agree with how your friend behaved, it could be cause and effect. I personally hope that one day this country is better with debt and what habits it pushes onto the community..

- Chris (theseedcoway.com)

[Jennifer Swance]

we have the same thing here my hubby was in a bad accident at work and got a nice size settlment well of curse everyone needs help not a prblem loanded 5000 to a friend of his so he could keep his house and feed his son mind u he is also making 34 an hour with oone child ended up claiming bankrupcey he has no bills accept his monthy rent of 800 pluse heat hydro making 34 and hoour and cant even pay us 20 a week and we are attempting to survive on 1000 becasue odsp chick nailing us so mad so i can see it when hubby back cpp come in for 7 years will be a sweet check lets see who comes crawling ut of the woodwork for money and i gona say kiss it u wert there when we needed help u sure not getting it frm us