My Dad is gone :(

[Zonny]

Thank you everyone for all your words, they mean a lot to me. I do feel all kinds of things, I kinda feel like I'm going crazy. Mornings are the toughest, as soon as I wake up, I feel ok but as I sit there, I realize he's gone and begin to cry. It hits like a ton of bricks. I haven't went out much, everywhere I go reminds me of him.

Not looking forward to looking at the will or going through his things. It's so hard right now.

I'm so sorry for all of your losses too. That's the worst thing about life, having to let go of the ones you love.

When my Dad passed away, my MIL immediately announced she was coming. I didn't want her to at the time, but in the end it was good.

Don't wait to clear out his stuff, that part will not get easier. For Dad, he was in a nursing home down the street from my house. A day or two after, DH, MIL and I all went down to clear out the room, tossed the things we didn't want, kept what we did. That was one of the best decisions I made, it was SO much easier to not have to through it all for months later.

For Mom, she was living with us for awhile, had a bedroom, bathroom and living room in our basement before she fell and went to hospital, then the nursing home. A year since she died and I still haven't gone through all the stuff in my basement. A cousin moved recently and I gave her some of the things, forcing me to go through some more. It's a weight every time I go to my basement, seeing the stuff that I still have to sort through, shred, etc. I'm getting through it slowly, but would have been much better if I'd done this while the pain was fresh, get it all over with rather than let it drag on.

I hope you're doing OK!

[Natalka]

[Lyssia510]

So sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you.
(((HUGS)))

[Skippy]

I'm so sorry for your loss, take it all one day at a time. Prayer offered on your behalf.

[dahliagrower]

Take it one day at a time .... one foot in front of the other. No words of sympathy really provide any relief at a time like this. At least take some comfort in knowing he was close by you and you got to share as much of his last days as possible - that would have offered him much comfort too.

[madchives]

sighing, i am so sorry to hear about your dad gpg.
hoping a lot of what you have read in the thread helps - i needed
kleenex, but i do find crying helps even now.

my mom was in the bedroom beside mine,, trying to call me
when she was having a massive heart attack, i was asleep.
i woke up - after screaming to 911 where we were -
around the corner from where the ambulance sits.. and more screaming
at the paramedics off she finally went to hospital
(having another 'event' on the way),
where we were told with the stints and some physio she would
be okay. she wasn't and died 2 days later.
mentioning that to say, even if you were right there,,,

there is no way to handle any close parent being gone.
thankfully you have the hubby and the kiddo.
i still remember a little rainbow in the middle of the day
a few days later with no rain having happened, as some sort of sign
which i wasn't looking for - was just there the day mom's 2nd
granddaughter was born.
no wonder i had 'somewhere over the rainbow' played
at her funeral - granted everyone got up to leave then,,,
thinking for mine i'll have the vid - i dare them to leave
garland.

great you were physically and emotionally
so close for so long, gpg.
and (since i am weird) interesting choice for the
movie you watched.
i know i am blabbering, but thought i'd mention i also
find thinking back to fun small events that you
shared helps - like sitting in the car with mom
at canada day to see fireworks, because it was nippy.
gives me a smile and although it does get you to miss them
can still cause a smile.
might not be easy now though- actually never is for me.

hugs hon, and hoping you are all taking care of yourselves.
sending best thoughts your way

[gameprogirl]

So sorry for your loss

Take some time for yourself. Don't worry about the will, or sorting through his things. It doesn't need to be done RIGHT NOW. Wills and material objects and obligations relating to them are just THINGS, and you are a person. You come first. Don't force yourself to do anything, this is a hard time.

My thoughts are with you

I wish I could, he was renting the apt right next to mine, so we have 30 days to clear out his stuff otherwise we have to pay rent again. My dad had very little to no money. The death benefit will not even cover his funeral arrangements. It's just so sad he worked for 40+ years and had nothing to show for it. I wanted him to travel, to do things he enjoyed but he never got to do anything because the past 20 yrs he was battling heart issues and fighting my mother in court over his tiny pension.

[Dee09]

I'm very sorry to hear of your loss gameprogirl. It's wonderful how close you two were, how you were there for him. Keep reminding yourself he knew that.

[McSkier]

my thoughts and prayers are with you...
as difficult as it may seem and sound, please try to take care of yourself...a short walk outside everyday for fresh air and some sunshine, journalling, resting when you can.....
wishing you peace and comfort

[gourmetsue]

Just dropping by to let you know I'm still thinking about you and feeling your pain. One moment at a time.

People keep asking me if I am ok and all I can say is "not now but I will be". I know it's tough, but we're all here thinking of you.

[Mia001]

i'm very sorry for the loss of your Dad,

i know by experience how you feel.....
you know, whatever we do for our parents, we can't help feeling guilty when they are gone....and often have in mind ..''what if ....etc ?''...
To me that means you did everyting for your Dad ....those who don't care don't feel guilty IMHO

Even though i hold my DD hand untill his last breath, i still have questionning guilt i mind after almost 4 years.....


All of that to tell you....

you did right and take care of you ....(((HUGS)))

[Natalka]

I've been thinking about you, hoping you are okay.