CBC Scandal Jian Ghomeshi (Q host) Fired ... ???

[Lynn49]

As a woman who has been sexually assaulted, I will say that the reason I never we t to the police was because it was my actions, in part, for why it happened.
I believe that we are all responsible for ourselves and our bodies.

If I was to drink and drive and get into a car accident, it is my fault.
If I was to go up to the room of a man who was interested in me and he kissed me, I should have expected that. If I did not want him to kiss me, then I would not have accepted the invitation.

If a person does not want these things to happen to them, then they need to evaluate their choices.

I'm sorry for what you went thru, but I just can't believe that every woman who goes to a man 's room is thinking, 'if I get raped, oh well!'. NOTHING a woman does or says automatically gives a guy the carte blanch right to rape her.

I salute those women for coming out of the woodwork, now feeling there's strength in numbers, and their collective voices will be heard.

It just gave me the chills to read at least two of them relate him turning his teddy-bear's face to the wall so that it wouldn't see what he was about to do to them! It just disgusts me!

This twerp is looking more like a monster and less than the Demi-god women worshiped.

[Lynn49]

I'm sorry you were assaulted by some-one and hope that you will eventually go and report this crime against you, especially if you know or can identify the perpetator. Your actions had nothing to do with this crime..I hope the actions of these brave women change your mind. even if the statue of Limitations has past, your report may alert the polce in other cases of abuse.

Self-blaming is one of the ways that Rape Culture is still flourishing in all parts of the world.

It's worse when the victim is convinced that her/his actions are totally to blame and, horrors, force an otherwise innocent person to comit acts of violence against them.

As a culture we need, no HAVE to break this cycle. It shouldn't matter if some-one has a drink, wears reveaing clothes or isn't surrounded by Imperial Stormtroopers...
Sexual Harrassment, assault or rape is NEVER EVER EVER the victims fault...it's the fault of the b@$tard who forced themelves onto some-one else..And only that person.





True but we can't alter how other people act against us. Especially when they knowingly and willingly commit an illegal act against our will on that most personal of possessions..our own body. Even when we tell that person NO and they wantonly ignore and disreagard our voices.



True again since you delierately and knowingly broke the law of the land. General You deserve to be at fault.

But saying that an act you deliberately set out to do is the same as some-one violating your body against your will strikes me as totally victim blaming and shaming.

No worse than that....It's condemning the victim as at best a willing accompliace or at worst being the sole agent of this crime..It exonerates the criminal totally. and gives a president for others to claim that because you @i-forget blame yourself..then all other abuse victims should be tarred with the same brush. All victims are equally ot blame...all Abusers were forced to abuse.. because one person has spoken on the internet about her ordeal being her fault..




logic fail...going somewhere with some-one does not and never has given them rights over you and your body.




And how do we do this?? By pushing back on the victim-shaming and making the whiole process about the criminal who deserves to be named and shamed...

Rather than focusing on the personal and moral habits, the dress and location of the victim...Focus on the real offender...the cat-caller, the harrasser, the molester and the rapist.

Stop trying to blame the innocent party.

every-one...stop making judgments about people you don't know..


If you have ever been a victim of an assault..remember yours wsn't the experience of every-one else's assault...saying thier's wasn't as bad as yours or in any other way trying to deminish thier experience just hands power to those people who want to say any kind of Sexaul Assault is made up and isn't worth noting...

Please note i am well aware that unwanted sexual contact happens across the whole spectrum of sexul identity...from male/female to male/male to female/male to femal/female and all the other QUILTBAG assaults.

eta We don't expect a mugging victmi to be guily of having money on them. Nor a car-jack victim of flashing off thier wheels in a public space..sexual crimes nearly aways end up as she/he was asking for IT somehow..

You expressed what I tried to say in my post beautifully, Darth!
If my daughter ever said to me that she deserved to be raped, had she been, there would be no way on earth I'd allow her to ever believe that! We don't walk around as victims! We don't offer ourselves up to a guy just because we're in his home, workplace or hotel room! Whoever did this to you, I_Forget, I hope never did that to another woman, but I'm not naive enough to think a guy like that stops at one such encounter. Like Darth, I hope you report him, but at the very least, please believe that you did NOTHING, NOTHING to warrant his behaviour.

[Darth Penguin]

It just gave me the chills to read at least two of them relate him turning his teddy-bear's face to the wall so that it wouldn't see what he was about to do to them! It just disgusts me!

And the Buffy The Vampire Slayer reference...For Teddy read Miss Edith

[Lynn49]

And the Buffy The Vampire Slayer reference...For Teddy read Miss Edith

Well. That explains a lot. It's getting increasingly warped every day.

[madchives]

is still terrible that women feel that they shouldn't bother
to report such awful things happening, but considering

jill amery's account i can see why,
(sorry if this a repost that someone else did)

www.huffingtonpost.ca/jill-amery/post_

had a problem with posting the article, sorry.

as a gender we have achieved a lot (as if we should have had to) - and it is too awful that as a society we have not.

[madchives]

As a woman who has been sexually assaulted, I will say that the reason I never we t to the police was because it was my actions, in part, for why it happened.
I believe that we are all responsible for ourselves and our bodies.

If I was to drink and drive and get into a car accident, it is my fault.
If I was to go up to the room of a man who was interested in me and he kissed me, I should have expected that. If I did not want him to kiss me, then I would not have accepted the invitation.

If a person does not want these things to happen to them, then they need to evaluate their choices.

i'm very upset to see what you have said, as in how could you say such comments?
and if you really believe what you have posted, my being mild idea is you need
some help.
do you have a 311 help line, to ask where you could go?

[Tbites]

@i_forget I just want to take a minute to tip my hat off to you for coming to offer your personal perspective; you didn't have to but did anyway and that in itself is a step. *hugz*

[angel_2011]

[trishka]

Reva Seth, a lawyer and author is now the ninth woman to accuse Jian of assault.

http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/reva-se..._hp_ref=canada

[i_forget]

Just wanted to clarify something.

I do not believe that a woman that is raped is at "fault".

I think what my point was rather that we have no idea what lurks behind the corner, what another person is thinking or feeling, or what is going to happen when we accept that invitation to someone's home for a drink.


Because we do not know, people should exercise caution so that they are not put into potentially dangerous situations.

We tell our kids to not to talk to strangers, to not play in the road...we should be teaching women to think about the potential risks associated with "going up for a drink" as well.

[maiyuu]

Instead of teaching women (or men) to be more aware of their actions if they are the victim, the issue is actually teaching men (or women) to not rape or sexually assault others. This topic infuriates me because in most of the women's account of Jian's actions towards them, they never came forward earlier because they said they chose to go out with this man. Sure the women agreed to go on dates or whatever, but the problem is it was never their choice to be assaulted.

Saying that women should be more cautious is the same as saying women can't wear short skirts because we are asking for men's attention. The blame needs to be taken away from women who do end up in these abusive situations.

Sorry for my heated post. I've noticed on social media posts, many ignorant people are blaming the women who came forward. Of course not everyone is ignorant, but I wonder why victim-blaming is even a 'thing'.

[Natalka]

Very true, maiyuu - but one thing, too - as the week has gone by and more information has come out, this whole thing also changed from what it 'seemed' in the beginning (which was just one man's proclivities with BDSM and questions of whether meetings were consensual).

[i_forget]

Instead of teaching women (or men) to be more aware of their actions if they are the victim, the issue is actually teaching men (or women) to not rape or sexually assault others. This topic infuriates me because in most of the women's account of Jian's actions towards them, they never came forward earlier because they said they chose to go out with this man. Sure the women agreed to go on dates or whatever, but the problem is it was never their choice to be assaulted.

Saying that women should be more cautious is the same as saying women can't wear short skirts because we are asking for men's attention. The blame needs to be taken away from women who do end up in these abusive situations.

Sorry for my heated post. I've noticed on social media posts, many ignorant people are blaming the women who came forward. Of course not everyone is ignorant, but I wonder why victim-blaming is even a 'thing'.

The sad part about all of this is that we do not have control over the actions of others. We only have control over our actions and our choices.

We live in a society that is very sexualized by the mass media.

In order to teach others to not do these things, society needs to change how they look at sex.

[Tbites]

Toronto police are starting an investigation after 2 of the women camee forward to police.
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/...ick=sf_globefb

And on the subject of blame, I really hope that as CBC's internal investigation moves ahead... that Arif Noorani will at the very least lose his job for the way he dealt and enabled the one CBC employee who tried to voice her concerns over being harassed.

"[The executive producer's] comment to me was …’He’s never going to change, you’re a malleable person, let’s talk about how you can make this a less toxic work environment for you,”

[MortgageQueen]

Has anyone seen the video games out there? Murder, rape and mayhem are "GAMES".
I think you can expect to see a lot worse in the future. This case is sexual violence, but look at these kids that go on shooting sprees and the one-of "terrorist acts" we've been seeing.
Movies, tv and media glorify violence and sexualize women in the extreme. Young minds are being completely saturated and bombarded with this 24/7. Really. . .can we expect them all just to rise above it?
Instead of being guided by morals, principles and what's good for the majority, commercial industry is solely motivated on greed and appealing to people's most base desires.
That said, on the other side of the world, crazy fanaticism, thirst for power, love of violence and debasing women is also an art of it's own.

Does this ever make you wonder. . . why is this happening?