Why do some people think that just because im poor I should not have nice things?

It's a rant not just for me but anyone with this same issue. First I'll explain a little: I come on here for support when bad things happen like a lot of us do.
But I wrote a rant about my freezer breaking and somone went to look at my back posts and more or less scolded me for the fact that I have nice things. I was not always poor and I'm just giving some back story here before I get on with the rant part. When I had money I bought a Burberry card holder. I don't use it now and tried to sell it all I got was very low ball offers. I now use a $7 wallet that holds all my cards and my phone. Way more practical. I also have a coach bag. A bag that caused a fight with my mom because I bought it on sale with bday money.. Well it's the only bag I got now mom got over it. Y can't I use it? I sell it now I won't get much and I'll have to get something else to carry things in anyway. Yes I have s cell but it was a free phone I got and why can't I have a phone? It's a cell Ya, but texting I find more convenient and I need a phone to reach family friends and possible jobs. Why can't I have cable and net? I'm poor I don't exactly go out much so gotta entertain myself somehow. I drive as I fear transit for many reasons I won't get into. It also makes travel across a city and chores and errands way better.
so why is there a stigma out there that because in poor I should have non of this? I'm still a person I still need a little joy and entertainment in life. It's like these ppl think I should just sit around all day reading Libary books and look like a bum... I value the few luxury goods I own as they are few and far between. I may post rants about fights with mothers over them or trouble selling something? But this site is not just about shopping deals, coupons and what not.. There's a general section for a reason. We all have troubles and when I post in not looking for hand outs or some magical money tree.. Just a little support or feedback from ppl who have similar issues, or resources somone may know of.
Cable net and phone bills can also be done on a budget. Same with car insurance and gas.
I always pay my bills make sure I have food.. Yes a couple times a year I use a food bank but so? I don't beg or mooch and I'm happy with what I have. I may miss that concert or I can't buy that bottel of wine or go out to eat all the time and I'm fine with that.. I'm happy as long as I have my man that loves me, my dog and cats who I make sure are cared for and my car.. And the little other things.
I just don't get why ppl with income think I should cancel my services and sell my nice things. Bad things happen to all of us why should I part with what I love when I still make it through?

i hope this comes across the right away. i can totally empathize with being poor and having no food, i was there at one point and had a kid to boot and i can understand where your coming from with needing some things to keep you sane......in my case (horrible as it was/is) i smoked. it was the one thing that was mine and mine alone, my lil piece of heaven/hell to sneak away and just do something that was for me (as awful and disgusting as it was)
i guess the flip side of that though is that food is a necessity and when someone claims they have none, the "non poor" people think, hey do something about it, sell your *insert whatever here*, cut back on *whatever*, etc.

when people claim they have no food, it tugs on your heart, its why everyone here donates to the food bank, etc. but we have a tendency to get upset if we know the people receiving it are spending their money on unessential stuff or not doing everything they can to help themselves.

i see both sides of the coin

I guess to answer the last question.
bad things happen to all of us but the general population would like to think that if someone is hard up, their helping themselves just as much as asking for help.....and that includes selling nice things in exchange for necessities.

I think maybe it's the way you stated in your freezer post that "we are very very very very poor. Food bank gives crap for food"

The comment about food banks giving crap for food may come across as you being ungrateful. Many people on SC donate a lot of food to food banks. To some it's the difference between eating and not eating.


In my opinion someone that is so poor that they need to use "very" 4 times to get the point across yet has a car, pays insurance, pays for a cell phone, carries a coach bag and Burberry wallet isn't as poor as they think.

Vehicles cost money to maintain. Gas prices are out of this world expensive. If you are not working and don't need a vehicle to get to and from work why pay for insurance and gas? Take the insurance off of your vehicle and let it sit in your driveway until you get a job that requires you to drive back and forth. In the meantime put the money you would have used on gas and insurance into savings and when emergencies arise you won't be in a panic.

Ok I'm going to be really truthful here. What is considered "poor" in the Western world is not what "poor" really is. If you have a roof over your head, a car, a cell phone, food on the table, cable, internet, and pets you spend money on...then you are not "poor". You may be of low income, but not poor. I have seen true poverty. I have traveled to third world countries where kids didn't even have shoes to wear, one pair of pants and if they were lucky, they'd be wearing a shirt. They lived on the street and begged for food all day. They shower in the dirty rain puddles or polluted rivers.

Your comment about food banks giving "crap food" sounds really ungrateful (I'm not saying you are ungrateful, I'm just saying your comment comes off that way). If you're hungry and can't afford food, you will eat ANYTHING. Some people would be so grateful to have a place they can go for FREE groceries. Do you know how many countries don't offer such a luxury ? Please do some research on what it really means to be "poor". Some people may look at your life and think you are living in luxury compared to theirs.

Anyways, all I have to say to you is, there will always be people saying negative things to you and judging you no matter how rich or "poor" you are. It's a part of life. Just be grateful for what you do have and stop focusing on what you don't have.

I hope your situation improves to the point where you can be happy again. Good luck to you.

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Who said I have issues on money management? I get by just fine bills get paid.. I'm looking for work.
It's not always so black n white. Problem with food bank is done if the stuff is no longer fresh and goes bad and then needs to be thrown out within a couple daus of getting it.
I don't just drive for a job I have a lot of other reasons to be on the road.
Im not looking for advice per say on how to budget I'm fine. Sometimes Ya I use the food bank most the time I get my own food. So i just dont see y i need to pull of on some things when most the time I get through just fine.

I guess what it boils down to is priorities.

-just wanted to say I love the library-I order new release books on hold and the library calls me when they come in (save a ton of money)
-good luck

I have my proprieties for the most part straight. things happen, all my point is and i see this a lot not just for me is that ppl assume i should not have nice things just cuz I'm poor

I think what people are saying if you are struggling with money, having something with a label shouldn't be a priority. Sell it if you can, use the money for food, and get by with no name items, second hand ,etc.

I think whatever income level we are at, you make the best of what you have. It doesn't have to have the label to make it nice. Pride of ownership should be independent of our income, or some perceived value because it has a name on it. Personally, I would carry/wear a no name, to feed my family.

For example, One of the reasons, I am doing better, is that I have chosen to not live in the best area of town. It's not horrid, but it's not the best. BUT my rent is super cheap, and within the year I hope to be purchasing a home in the area. It is perceived as the "poor" area/wrong side of town by some, BUT, many (not all) take pride in their home/yard/gardens, etc and although cheap area, they look nice.

I don't own much that is new in my home (I like older antiques, anyways), and kijiji/garage sale like a madwomen at time, and my home looks nice on a budget. I dont care that it isn't knew. And if someone judges me for that, that is their issue.

I Just don't see the point in attaching value to name brand items. If you can afford it, fine, but if you struggle, I would sell it, and not struggle.

FInally, I think poor is as much as state of mind, as a financial situation for many. We need to learn contentment at WHATEVER stage/level we are at, not based on a certain income/name brand item.

I hope things get better for you.

At home (in relation to comments about the state of irregular or no employment on my part), family tells me in various ways that I cannot have an opinion on just about anything. Constant grinding down of me, the person, even though I do raise matters affecting the house (it needs repairs), the outdoors, and safety (somehow home safety does not "matter" though it exists at "work"). If I hear sibling tell me one more time that he's unionized (there's no union at home) as reason he cannot pick up after himself or do something around house (parents are seniors and basically are not keeping up with things), he can go take a long, long walk or expect to hear some earfuls of words from me. I cannot expect that some consideration in grocery buying might be given to abstain from buying spicy or sour foods they can eat but I cannot unless I can go shopping or be given the opportunity to do the shopping. I'm told I'm bitter, I'm a b****-well, if I don't look out for my interests, I won't get a seat at the table as it were.
@ottawa-your comments about smoking make sense. If a person is juggling living on a budget, having one treat to deal with stress or just to have something for oneself makes a lot of sense. It occurred to me that a discussion I heard about a client in employment office (had super long hair and would not take staff offers to pay for a haircut) a few years ago missed the point of why client may have had long hair-to her, that hair was something that was hers to choose what to do with. Staff felt employers maybe thinking client has not been keeping her hair updated and thus not giving her jobs that she interviewed for. But what others who are employed or in hiring positions forget, is that jobseekers get down about searches that go on for little effective return yet are EXPECTED to take constant "direction" about how to do things/settle for less in jobs, etc. Not exactly a warm and uplifting messaging to constantly be expected to take without commentary...
@idonovan-you are totally correct in seeking support on the forum for whatever issue you wish to post about. Yes, it helps make life easier to handle to have a few nice things for yourself, that you obtained on your own. Somehow, social networks in real life and online don't always show empathy or consider what your POV/context is. Word from someone older than you-believe in yourself and know there are kindred spirits in this world, just not always when they are needed.

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Originally Posted by idonovan

I have my proprieties for the most part straight. things happen, all my point is and i see this a lot not just for me is that ppl assume i should not have nice things just cuz I'm poor

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If you were posting on here about how poor you are and have no food and then bragging that you bought a Coach bag I'd agree with some of the comments on here. But these things were bought before you were in your current situation and honestly don't have much of a resale value...just because it's Coach or Burberry doesn't mean it's valuable(especially anything made for outlet or deeply discounted at the outlet). I think when life gets rough we all need that one thing to look forward to at the end of the day, wether that's our favourite tv show or just knowing we own that one nice thing that we love.
As for the other stuff, you know all of us can budget our expenses, build a stockpile, save for a rainy day etc, but sometimes it only takes one little thing that we didn't expect to throw us off course and end up in a situation we weren't expecting.
I hope things turn around for you soon!

i have it the same way to used to both have good jobs becasue of drunk driver and my firance being in a serious work accident he is on disability i coupon if not we would have had starving kids we were acually called becasue we had applied for the christmas hamper threw salvation army wich we have to since the accidents and they said well u are donating all this stuff u can get everything u need umm hello couponing and donating is awsome but when u need undies and socks where are the coupons i said we dont need the food part of hamper but would help so much with toys but becasue of couponing we look rich haha far from it we are just smart with the ity bity money we all get in so if u have some nice stuff u cant give up your whole life we had to pawn some stuff to make morgage one month that hurt alot but it had to be don now we are using the barter system i traded some stock pile for a despertly needed new pair of shoes for my daughter i still got better deal lol hold tight dont let people be little u just becasue they cant do what we are doing

I live with my parents, and brother and my family are well to do and my money I manage it well, I am still on disability and volunteers and fills out online survey, our phone plan is shared, cable bill costly, and pay with cash only and goes to MPA food bank. Idonavan, try cutting expensive cable and unneeded stuff
i hope your situation will be much better, so sad :( for you

Just because someone is "Poor" doesn't mean they should have to sell things. I don't think your poor, instead I think your having a rough year financially. You can pay your bills, food etc. People who are "poor" would have to sell their things just to pay rent, bills food etc. I have hard times throughout the year and I don't sell my things and wouldn't be happy if someone told me I should do so. Its not anyones business what I own and how I got it. Just bust your butt and keep looking for work. Things will get better

Selling my things would have a very low resale value anyway. It's not worth it. Since buying higher value items I no longer care about labels or brands. Grew out of it I suppose, but as I still have them and it's not worth reselling I use them and enjoy it.

Putting down the food food bank then calling people who go to the library bums is not helping your case. It sound like you suffer from something called entitlement. The cure is to go volunteer at the shelter, donate to the food bank, have a garage sale and give the money to charity, and such. You should also help out at a soup kitchen; maybe if you see what down and out really looks like, you will understand and become cured.

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Originally Posted by BC Gal

Putting down the food food bank then calling people who go to the library bums is not helping your case. It sound like you suffer from something called entitlement. The cure is to go volunteer at the shelter, donate to the food bank, have a garage sale and give the money to charity, and such. You should also help out at a soup kitchen; maybe if you see what down and out really looks like, you will understand and become cured.

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I don't believe the OP called people who go to the library bums? I believe what was said was "reading library books and looking like a bum." I don't believe they are saying that reading library books makes people look like a bum. I think these are two separate ideas that happen to be together in the same sentence.

I don't think you understand the concept of poor. I grew up in the 1980's with no running water, only a wood stove for heat, my brother slept in the same room as my parents, our family only had 1 vehicle and 1 tractor even though we lived on a farm, and we had plastic over the windows all year round. I don't recall being called poor or feeling poor because I had a roof over my head, food on the table, and a family who loved each other. We didn't have cell phones, computers, vehicles galore, nice clothes, etc. I think consumerism has made many people poor because people think they are entitled to nice things. Food for thought.

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Saw this on my facebook feed this morning. It seems appropriate to share here on this thread.

Could this all be a misunderstanding of wording? Im thinking the op had these things before her current situation? these things don't sell for a lot used so may not be worth selling. The op may have grammar/spelling issues? (not trying to insult)

It is indeed meant to be 2 issues... library books and the bum thing.. all I meant is that in leu of having things like the net and tv using only the library as entertainment. as per the bum thing is getting rid of my nicer items for next to nothing as the resale is low and wearing run down clothing... I already do need clothing and again the smart phone was free and I pay 20 a month for a 100 talk minutes and 1000 texting ones... the coach bag was bought with bday money and has little resale value. I need a phone for many reasons and again the bag is not worth selling.

@idonovan .....the last thing I would do is read someone's post and then judge them on what they own. Clearly you are going through a rough period. Whether people think you are "poor" or not, is not for us to judge or make that decision. We all have different degrees of what poor is. I went through a rough patch in my early 20's. At the point in my life, I thought we were poor. My family didn't have much at all. But it was certainly tough when all I would see was my friends buying all the latest clothes, make-up, jewellery from high ends stores and I would go to Bargain Harold's. I was bitter but not jealous (does that make sense?) However the love in my family was way more "valuable" to me than the relationships they had with their families (they were very distant and cold with their parents).Quite frankly I don't think you have to explain yourself to anyone. You came on here to express yourself. Many people have done that before you and will continue to do so after you. I think you were looking for a little support/advice. The only advice I can give you is try your hardest to keep couponing and price matching. I just wish you all the best and hope you get through this rough period real soon.

One thing I have to said about that.I am way more happy since I dont care what others think and dont let the comments control my life.I hope you will too someday :)