December 2016 Frugal Chatter thread (all welcome)

J & C I understand what you were saying as I do the same.

From each paycheck I a lot X dollars to the house. I know I need Y each month to cover the bills, Z is what I set aside for Groceries and then whatever is left is set aside or allocated to an expense we have to cover.

With that being said if there is extra money I do not broadcast this. As most of you know my Mom has a thing for spending "extra" money and I do not want her to think oh well there is extra we can spend because things happen, like we know our washer is on the way out but have decided to run it until it dies. Currently it leaks out the front of the door (we have front load) but if I put a small bin under the door it catches everything so right now I am using a $1.00 fix vs spending $300+ to change the seal or $1500+ to buy a new washer & dyer (looked into and the savings to buy both at once it would not make sense to change one at a time).

Ultimately I know at some point we will spend the money but I would prefer to use it something we NEED vs a want. I would love to be able to for once be ahead of the curve and be able to pay for something upfront vs trying to catch up after it is purchased.

Right now Mom does know there is some "extra" money but she does not know the $$$ amount and has agreed we will just leave that money to the side until we NEED it and so far she has known for a few months and has not asked to spend it but like I said she does not know the $$$ amount

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Originally Posted by Ciel

@jasperandchar I apologize for any offense my reply or sensitive area I may have touched. You are honest in your posts. I did not perceive you to be misleading, deceitful or whatever else about your question. My answers come from seeing parents and related kin basically show varying moneyhandling skills, the main one seeming to be in control of whatever money they handled because the adults in each relationship were not on the same page regarding expenses, priorities and timing of purchases. Lots of conflict, I'd say! What I meant by context is framing the news with how the news was achieved. That way you and DH both understand which store programs, coupons or promotions helped and which were not useful, which bulk buys and timing of purchases lined up with needs and which buys or deals were lemons needing conversion to lemonade.Then you discuss which of those things are used for next year and which things are h*** no avoid at all costs for your 2017 budget. Share the glories and the pains.Otherwise, some things are likely to repeat despite good intentions. At what point do you and DH like to have your sons get involved with some buying decisions in the budget or doing the purchasing? It helps to say what things need doing and how you'd like to step back in some areas and have them step forward.

I have seen merit in withholding information at times at home because I have been on the receiving end of too many furies and anger from other family members who don't even acknowledge what I say. It's usually their way or anger. Context sometimes got through to them with my answers but regardless, I am not often listened to.
You have funds in reserve-your family is miles ahead of mine. As I type, I am seated near the $12k white elephant second bathroom. Sure a second toilet and sink are useful but the $4k spent on the shower area was a bad idea. What if the project had been brought up at the family table and discussed? I think the shower area would have been nixed and the ceramic tiles dropped for vinyl flooring. The money could have directed to much need step repairs but never happened.

When discussing money matters, each person really is different. I wish we all had some budgeting course or classes during middle or early high school years. Thankfully libraries stock some of the books that help adults find guidance in financial matters when home did not have the answers or gave the wrong ones.

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@Ciel hun my clarification was not made because of your comments, all comments and feedback where asked. My wording was poor and I can understand how perhaps it may have seemed I was not disclosing the budget, etc.

I like the idea of including the kids in household discussions. We do seek their input for major projects and the budgeting of those projects so that can be made aware how much things costs. We have 3 renos planned for January is the contractor shows, however, I'm getting the distinct impression that he will not.....grr. A powder room downstairs is 1st on the priority list as it will increase the property value AND will be so convenient when someone is using the main washroom upstairs, 2 of 4 super from IBS so it's more a must than a splurge (haha).

I love reading your posts they are always so knowledge filled.

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Originally Posted by SassyAshley

J & C I understand what you were saying as I do the same.

From each paycheck I a lot X dollars to the house. I know I need Y each month to cover the bills, Z is what I set aside for Groceries and then whatever is left is set aside or allocated to an expense we have to cover.

With that being said if there is extra money I do not broadcast this. As most of you know my Mom has a thing for spending "extra" money and I do not want her to think oh well there is extra we can spend because things happen, like we know our washer is on the way out but have decided to run it until it dies. Currently it leaks out the front of the door (we have front load) but if I put a small bin under the door it catches everything so right now I am using a $1.00 fix vs spending $300+ to change the seal or $1500+ to buy a new washer & dyer (looked into and the savings to buy both at once it would not make sense to change one at a time).

Ultimately I know at some point we will spend the money but I would prefer to use it something we NEED vs a want. I would love to be able to for once be ahead of the curve and be able to pay for something upfront vs trying to catch up after it is purchased.

Right now Mom does know there is some "extra" money but she does not know the $$$ amount and has agreed we will just leave that money to the side until we NEED it and so far she has known for a few months and has not asked to spend it but like I said she does not know the $$$ amount

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Exactly I do not broadcast the amount. DH & I are very different when it comes to saving and spending.

I'm practical (no gadgets or bells and whistles) where dh bought a side by side and based his payments on future income tax returns :shock:. Which is not a sure and fixed amount from year to year. He asked me what I thought and I told him honestly BUT in the end, he made the purchase. He still has 3 years of income tax returns to make the payments and did not get enough back to cover his payments.....Which really ticked me off. As it stands dh owes the family budget $xxxx which will come from 2016's tax returns. So this may paint a better picture of the reason I am the way I am when it comes to budgeting. I NO LONGER believe in spending money that you don't yet have. Forecasting is forecasting and yes that's a great budgeting tool, however, purchases need to be based on true figures.

Morning all,

Rib steaks are thawing for supper will serve with baked potatoes and corn.

On my to do list is some fun, well fun to me. I will go over my personal & financial goals for 2016 AND create new goals for 2017 which is just around the corner. It's amazing how quickly we forget milestones and goals once they are achieved as time passes. I like to reflect on all that was achieved as I find it uplifting and a great ego booster (haha).

Wishing everyone a wonderful day.

Still in a deep freeze!! Made a batch of white chocolate cherry shortbread after the concert last night and rolled them and put them in the fridge to chill. Up at 7 this morning and baked them all. Going to make homemade donairs for supper tonight, which should make everyone happy!!
Now on to cleaning, I am oiling all my furniture and washing all the floors, we are picking up the tree tonight and I want everything clean before it arrives!!! Hopefully will have the rest of my house decorated before bed tonight!!! all gifts have now arrived from my black Friday orders and they are wrapped and ready to go.

In regards to the questions on finances, I have tried to share the details of the budget with DH. He doesn't care and prefers not to know. He has his job, his bank account, and as long as it's not negative at the end of the month, he doesn't care. It will never be negative as most of his costs are on a credit card, with several hundred dollars going out in cash that he pays for all work expenses. The cash I never have records for as it just gets withdrawn from his account, for whatever his boss decides he wants him to pay for. We consider it a necessary work expense, even though it should not be, and if there is no receipt, there is no reimbursement.

I like to know where every penny goes and try to document every quarter I find while grocery shopping. When we purchased the house, I had money borrowed from my parents, my savings, my income. DH only had his last paycheck and $0 in savings. I kept records of how much we borrowed from my parents, my emptied RRSPs, and the mortgage from the bank. When there is extra money, I pay it back to these sources, but also keep saving for those things we inevitably need, such as the new second car to come next year, the insurance for the car, the impending bathroom reno to get rid of the mold, and the new roof which we will need. After that, may come some family fun like vacations when the children are much, much bigger, but DH really likes being "blissfully unaware" as he likes to put it. If the money is there, he spends it freely for whatever he wants to spend it on. I practically have a ten step questionnaire for myself and end up returning non-necessities or storing things away for Christmas/birthdays.

I would like to share with DH as I find it really stressful to keep it all to myself (and have mentioned this on many occasions) but feel the need not to bring it up to keep peace in the marriage. Whatever we can save after all the sources borrowed from are done, goes into DH's retirement fund or his insurance against eating cat food in his old age. He's quite happy to move whatever excess he has in his account at the end of the month, and for that reason, he's always about six months behind in expenses and I use my savings to cover the difference.

At the end of every season, I will send him a report on his portion of the food, utilities, insurance, credit card breakdowns, amount allotted to children's future education, etc. Sometimes he looks, but most times he does not even open the email.

Oh how I remember the days of Mom spending ahead. Would get told things like, next pay I will have some extra I can pay it off then, or I have a lot of hours next week it will all work out. Needless to say it never did which is how she got herself so far in debt.

With that being said I do have to say as of late I am proud of her, she is waiting for things to break, die or serve there last day before replacements are purchased. Anything that is purchased is paid for on her debit card no more credit (she does not have overdraft so she would be declined). Even a few times lately she has made it to the next pay with money still in the bank and all bills paid.

I was completely shocked when it came to the washer and dryer that she agreed with me we could wait. I will admit getting a new one would be lovely as I was never in love with the set we have and I have been saying I would love to upgrade but we both agree now is not the time. She even went to the store to look at them (we originally found online) and did not buy. A year ago those would have been on her credit cards no questions asked and I would then be sitting here trying to re work the budget and come up with the shortfall in money. But we sat down, we talked and decided there were other pressing issues within the house not to mention we did know we would have been short on money as my emergency fund would not have covered the full purchase.

It has been a slow learning curve but she seems to now see and understand she cannot live on credit and also all expenses cannot fall on me and when we short it is not my job to come up with the extra money. Yes we are both aware I am making more money even though we are both working full time but that does not mean I can cover everything or just pull extra out whenever it is needed.

Mom is even working on paying me back some of the money she has borrowed over the years. I have not been very vocal about this as I even told her she needed to prove to me she could do it because far too many times before the talk was good but the actions sucked. Now I will admit a couple of times I have asked do we really need this, or why are we buying this but the good news we have been able to discuss and many of the fights regarding money have stopped.

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Originally Posted by sweet sparrow

In regards to the questions on finances, I have tried to share the details of the budget with DH. He doesn't care and prefers not to know. He has his job, his bank account, and as long as it's not negative at the end of the month, he doesn't care. It will never be negative as most of his costs are on a credit card, with several hundred dollars going out in cash that he pays for all work expenses. The cash I never have records for as it just gets withdrawn from his account, for whatever his boss decides he wants him to pay for. We consider it a necessary work expense, even though it should not be, and if there is no receipt, there is no reimbursement.

I like to know where every penny goes and try to document every quarter I find while grocery shopping. When we purchased the house, I had money borrowed from my parents, my savings, my income. DH only had his last paycheck and $0 in savings. I kept records of how much we borrowed from my parents, my emptied RRSPs, and the mortgage from the bank. When there is extra money, I pay it back to these sources, but also keep saving for those things we inevitably need, such as the new second car to come next year, the insurance for the car, the impending bathroom reno to get rid of the mold, and the new roof which we will need. After that, may come some family fun like vacations when the children are much, much bigger, but DH really likes being "blissfully unaware" as he likes to put it. If the money is there, he spends it freely for whatever he wants to spend it on. I practically have a ten step questionnaire for myself and end up returning non-necessities or storing things away for Christmas/birthdays.

I would like to share with DH as I find it really stressful to keep it all to myself (and have mentioned this on many occasions) but feel the need not to bring it up to keep peace in the marriage. Whatever we can save after all the sources borrowed from are done, goes into DH's retirement fund or his insurance against eating cat food in his old age. He's quite happy to move whatever excess he has in his account at the end of the month, and for that reason, he's always about six months behind in expenses and I use my savings to cover the difference.

At the end of every season, I will send him a report on his portion of the food, utilities, insurance, credit card breakdowns, amount allotted to children's future education, etc. Sometimes he looks, but most times he does not even open the email.

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Reading this makes me sad - it is so important for your hubby and you to be on the same page. Hopefully there will come a point that he will agree to see a counselor with you regarding finances.

well no me day today had to cancel with my friend for swiss chalet tonight -have a fever and a tiny bit of a sore throat
-nothing is getting done today(as I am sleeping on and off) -oh well

Hope you feel better soon coupongirl, I know how you were looking forward to your me day today.

Used my free McDonalds Big Mac app coupon at Walmart at lunch and went to Indigo's to exchange my Fitbit. The customer service at Indigo's was amazing. I popped into Costco as the parking lot was fairly empty with no line ups at the registers which was strange. I found LED Christmas lights for $12.99, on the fence whether to return my solar Christmas lights as there isn't much sunlight these days.

Enjoyed my pool class at the Y which justified the big mac afterwards :-)

Today is moonlight madness shopping in our city. One second hand store had a promotion on. $10 for anything in the store that you could fit in their cloth bag. I bought one bag and was happy with what I got before the twins got frustrated. 2 shirts and a blue hoodie, 3 toques with chin straps for the twins, a pair of baby boots, 2 DVDs, a few baby clothes items, and a small Cars activity book (another Christmas gift). I have decided not to keep the one DVD (my neighbour doesn't have a DVD player, oops), and I decided that one shirt is too tight on me. I'll try to sell these 2 items on Facebook.

My Dh has been getting overtime this week, which is extremely rare with his job. He is still out on the road and he is always home for supper. Our son had CanSkate tonight, so I packed up all the kids in order to take him. I picked up the new flyers on my way home.

Was delighted to see a Rexall flyer in today's paper bundle with flyers. Noticed that Sobeys is showing the classic or Pronto Barilla pasta on sale for 99cents, so I was wrong to assume the 97 cents Barilla at No Frills likely would not include the Pronto pasta. YMMV-I'm not likely to visit No Frills at Stonechurch and Upper Paradise so I cannot say that Pronto is sold there. There's a tech blogger who did a post on how the Pronto pasta can be cooked with sauce ingredients at the same time-so the curious part of me wants to know what is different about that pasta from the regular pasta.

BTW, Fortinos will have Coca Cola mini cans on sale for $2.99 starting tomorrow , so if you have the CZ 50 cents off for Coke Life minis coupon plus 600 PC Plus points offer in your account, you can do ok with buying the product by Dec. 11 (when the coupon expires). $2.99 is the best offer at local stores that I have seen (Sobeys, Longos and now Fortinos) for the Coke Life 6-pk mini cans.

Seems this Saturday, all the major grocery stores are keen on foot traffic. Sobeys will have a Better Food Fair for its kettle corn snacks (11am-5pm), Fortinos will cut a 10lb panettone cake on Saturday (from noon; flyer mentions Pane Fresco serves breakfast from 7am-11am Sat/Sun-did not know there were Belgian waffle type offerings for sale), and Longos will hold its Holy Cannoli event from 10am-2pm(and on Sun). I'll be at Longos to see what the Hazelnut Chocolate Chip filled cannolis will be selling for (had the mini sample in Sept-tasty).

No major cooking or baking action today-glad I had done a second toaster oven pan last night with red pepper strips and chopped carrots roasted for Mom. She had them for breakfast today with some other food. Will repeat with last batch of produce tomorrow.

Perused the December issue of Martha Stewart Living where gift ideas are shown. Anthropologie apparently has a metallic (copper looking) pineapple that contains nested measuring cups inside. What a clever decor piece and useful idea! Suddenly I know where I would display it-on top of the pantry cupboard. The other intriguing piece was a round smooth wooden disk that has a concave contour and a little leather loop in the middle. It's a tray for wallets and keys. Maybe it could double as a cheese or chopping board in a pinch?

Reminder: some of those personal care Proctor & Gamble coupons (from last month's insert) expire this Sunday. Chase your shampoo and other item deals this weekend!

TGIF! I had a work function in the city yesterday. Free drinks and lunch and a driver which is always nice. Picked me up at home and dropped me off so my vehicle sat warm in the garage all day.

We have a hockey filled weekend. Will tidy the house inbetween our trips to the arena, in town and out of town. Will plan a nice dinner for tomorrow night since our game is local and early afternoon. Leftovers Sunday to make it easy for out of town game. Thinking ribs tomorrow night since we have a few packages in the freezer and they take up so much room. With homemade fries, green beans and ceaser salad. Just need to buy romaine since I have everything else on hand!

Really need to get wrapping Christmas gifts this weekend!! Can't believe it is December 9th already. Wow.