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Thread: When Times Get Tough...What Do You Do?

  1. #106
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    Oh, this is not the best timing with a new baby on the way. Hopefully he will be able to find something else quickly. Try not to let it stress you too much and focus on the good things in your life.




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    Thank you. Trying to stay calm. With him on EI and me on mat leave, we cannot pay our bills. Big changes are going to have to happen. We were renovating the basement to make room for baby, that won't happen now. We needed a bigger car to be able to fit the 2 car seats and step-daughter when she's there...also don't know how that will happen.

    Worst possible timing with the court case etc. When it rains it pours...

    Quote Originally Posted by Bargain Seeker View Post
    Oh, this is not the best timing with a new baby on the way. Hopefully he will be able to find something else quickly. Try not to let it stress you too much and focus on the good things in your life.
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    Quote Originally Posted by wimbly11 View Post
    Thank you. Trying to stay calm. With him on EI and me on mat leave, we cannot pay our bills. Big changes are going to have to happen. We were renovating the basement to make room for baby, that won't happen now. We needed a bigger car to be able to fit the 2 car seats and step-daughter when she's there...also don't know how that will happen.

    Worst possible timing with the court case etc. When it rains it pours...
    @wimbly11 that's too bad about your dh but very kind of his employers to give him a lot of warning so that he consider looking now for something when laid off. Also since he was given notice if in writing provide to your lawyer and this should be something that will be considered by the judge in her decision and/or affect the scale of payments (@ciel said that payments are based on a scale of pay) or something along those lines.

    Good luck and things will slowly fall into place as they always do,

    your step daughter may be able to fit between the 2 car seats? or if you are smaller framed perhaps you can for those 5 people outings which don't happen everyday.

    Can your youngest share her room with new baby? Or can the baby move into your step-daughers room, I believe you said she doesn't stay over all that often? Or perhaps take the bigger of the 2 rooms and have youngest & baby share the bigger space?
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    Sorry to hear the layoff for your husband is coming... that's so much lead time.

    However, it gives him lots of time to look for other work - any other kind of work that can be bringing in money.
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  5. #110
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    aww i'm sorry to hear of the lay off. When one door closes...a window opens...or so they say!
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    Thanks everybody.

    It's nice that he has some warning. They are closing the school in stages, so everyone at least has an idea of when they will be let go. This will affect child support payments, our monthly amount will drop drastically (unless he has different employment before July). And the percentage of what we are responsible for may change too. DH is contacting the lawyers today to let him know these changes.

    We talked about moving my work station into the same room as DHs and putting step-daughter in the Den. It's not a very big space, but she's very rarely with us and at least it still gives her a space. We won't be finishing the basement right now unless DH secures something really good before then.
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    Quote Originally Posted by wimbly11 View Post
    Thanks everybody.

    It's nice that he has some warning. They are closing the school in stages, so everyone at least has an idea of when they will be let go. This will affect child support payments, our monthly amount will drop drastically (unless he has different employment before July). And the percentage of what we are responsible for may change too. DH is contacting the lawyers today to let him know these changes.

    We talked about moving my work station into the same room as DHs and putting step-daughter in the Den. It's not a very big space, but she's very rarely with us and at least it still gives her a space. We won't be finishing the basement right now unless DH secures something really good before then.
    Sounds like a smart solution. Honestly I would not touch the basement until you are done mat leave and back at work and have built an emergency fund then start saving for the basement reno. And you said you had debt? I would wait till that is all paid too.
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  8. #113
    Canadian Guru jasperandchar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wimbly11 View Post
    Thanks everybody.

    It's nice that he has some warning. They are closing the school in stages, so everyone at least has an idea of when they will be let go. This will affect child support payments, our monthly amount will drop drastically (unless he has different employment before July). And the percentage of what we are responsible for may change too. DH is contacting the lawyers today to let him know these changes.

    We talked about moving my work station into the same room as DHs and putting step-daughter in the Den. It's not a very big space, but she's very rarely with us and at least it still gives her a space. We won't be finishing the basement right now unless DH secures something really good before then.
    Sounds like you and your dh are being pro-active which is great.

    I've lived in my house for 12 years now and we have been poking along as we can afford it, it's surprising how quickly the expenses add up. Ds1 moved down stairs 2 years ago and we have over time put up drywall as we've had the $. There is still cement floors as we are fine with that for quite some time. We only purchased doors for the laundry room last fall.

    Things will fall into place, your step-daughter will be fine in the den and if it becomes an issue when she visits more often (stays over) then cross that past when it happens.
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  9. #114
    LoveToSave wimbly11's Avatar
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    Thanks all. I'm still in panic mode. DH is much calmer and told me to have faith in him. I'm the money person in the relationship so I find it much harder.

    Last year was a rough year and we thought, hey 2017 has to be better. Between the scares with this pregnancy, one of my oldest, closest friends being diagnosed with breast cancer, the court issue, money problems, and now this, I feel like I'm barely standing.
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    Quote Originally Posted by wimbly11 View Post
    Thanks all. I'm still in panic mode. DH is much calmer and told me to have faith in him. I'm the money person in the relationship so I find it much harder.

    Last year was a rough year and we thought, hey 2017 has to be better. Between the scares with this pregnancy, one of my oldest, closest friends being diagnosed with breast cancer, the court issue, money problems, and now this, I feel like I'm barely standing.
    Most of this is things out of your control. While I know its easy to say "don't stress", the best thing you can do, is remember to take it one day at a time. You look back at 2016 and have to remember...you're still standing. Slowly over time as you tackle things, it will become easier. Do the best you can for that particular day.
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  11. #116
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    Quote Originally Posted by ex0ticb3lla View Post
    Most of this is things out of your control. While I know its easy to say "don't stress", the best thing you can do, is remember to take it one day at a time. You look back at 2016 and have to remember...you're still standing. Slowly over time as you tackle things, it will become easier. Do the best you can for that particular day.
    So true.
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  12. #117
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    If you find the stress is too much, you may find it helpful talking to a counsellor if you can find a free one or one covered through work. It may also be helpful to see if there is some type of free provinical counselling program for people in debt-I know our province has one. They may be able to look at your situation and negotiate some of your debt down or possibly consolidate some of it at a lower interest rate while you both are still employed.
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  13. #118
    Canadian Guru jasperandchar's Avatar
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    So sorry to hear about your friend

    Money problems or concerns are not fun, could your dh become more involved with the budgeting if he isn't already. I find it makes things more achievable when both parties are on the same page. I do the online banking but we discuss everything and try and work through it together.

    As others have said when things are out of your control, it's worrisome but beyond your control, baby steps.

    Good luck
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  14. #119
    LoveToSave wimbly11's Avatar
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    DH is so positive. Things will work out. Have faith. He's not worried at all. Talks about doing freelance from now on. Which is terrifying. That's how he used to live and most of the time he was pretty poor. But when I tried to talk to him about the risks of freelance he got mad.

    He really doesn't help much with the budget and has no interest in it. Like I said, before I came along, he didn't have 2 cents to his name. Never saved a dime, never had money. He doesn't pay attention to money or bills. And it doesn't phase him at all. When I say, we won't be able to pay our bills with you on EI, he says it will work out. He doesn't understand that bills and money work out because I make them work out. I am feeling so defeated. I cannot see the positive side right now as well. Between his ex taking money and now this, I'm seeing my dreams slipping away.

    Sorry for the pity party, it's been a rough go and I just plain feel defeated.
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  15. #120
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    Maybe this is just what he needed to wake up and start paying attention to his finances. In the meantime try not to stress too much.
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