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Thread: A woman with one husband, plus one boyfriend. Agree or disagree?

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    Today just saw a new. The story is: a woman who has a husband and kids feels boring at her life. So she feels like she needs a boyfriend to make her life more happier. But she did discuss this topic with her very very nice husband and then end up. Yeap, she dates with her new boyfriend and even bring this boyfriend to home to show their kids and husband that, this is her new boyfriend.

    This is how the three people feeling:
    1. The woman, who said this really make her happier in her life and so she can go on her career.
    2. The husband, who said this type of matter didn't make him happy at all for this all the long time. But he just wants to do his best to let her wife be happier in her life. (well, really a nice husband)
    3. The boyfriend, who said this relationship make him happy as well because at the same time, he has another girlfriend to date as well. But he said there is little chance that he will go on the relationship with the woman in future.

    The ended story is, after being this wired relationship for the long time, the husband finally can't accept this type of relationship anymore and decided to divorce with the woman. And the woman with the boyfriend, well, may not last for long either because every love will be rusty by the time passed. Even the woman said, there's lots of ppl complaint that she is selfish, but she can't really lie herself that, go on her life with the husband due to lack of living passion. She wants to live with what she feels happier in her life.

    ---End


    Here is my opinion::
    I totally, totally and totally feel that the woman is really selfish. If you don't have any passion with the current husband, yes, you can divorce and go find another one. But now you want to have both the husband and the boyfriend together because you feel that it is the happiest thing you should do to make yourself happy. I would say, yea, I would be feeling happy to rob the bank (just an example) but I can't because it is illegal to do that. You probably said I didn't do anything illegal but my point is that, you can't do anything you want in order to make yourself happy because there are something called illegal or unethical in our human being.
    I wish I have 10 wives or 10 husbands but I can't because a marriage is a type of business which we need to find a way to how to operate each other. The way you are doing is just so selfish and un-mature. The woman didn't lie to her husband and just did what she feels happy. But she is ruining her family, her husband and kids.

    Please note: I never mean to offense any kind of marriage or something like that. If things just can't work out, divorce maybe the best choice of it. I just want to express my feeling that, our human being can't satisfy for all we have for all the time. But we should know to control what we should do and what we should not. I think the story I mentioned above is called open marriage. Does it really worth to do so? Agree or disagree?
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    Newfiescreech Newfiescreech's Avatar
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    This is my personal opinion of this situation..i would never allow this go on in my relationship.. woman is married .. then she should be happy with her husband .. if not get out relationship( Divorce ) and then get boyfriend or lover ( one nite stand ) .. I dont think should be open relationship..that’s telling husband she’s not happy with him anymore ..especially if she needs another man in her life ..to me if this was going on in my relationship..i get out it and never look back ..husband and wife said their vows to each other .Name:  D2AD70DF-F188-49D8-930D-746DF8EF5380.jpg
Views: 278
Size:  182.9 KB. sounds like people wants their cake and eat it too ..sick world were living in today..nothing haves true meaning to anything anymore .
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    Quote Originally Posted by Newfiescreech View Post
    This is my personal opinion of this situation..i would never allow this go on in my relationship.. woman is married .. then she should be happy with her husband .. if not get out relationship( Divorce ) and then get boyfriend or lover ( one nite stand ) .. I dont think should be open relationship..that’s telling husband she’s not happy with him anymore ..especially if she needs another man in her life ..to me if this was going on in my relationship..i get out it and never look back ..husband and wife said their vows to each other .Name:  D2AD70DF-F188-49D8-930D-746DF8EF5380.jpg
Views: 278
Size:  182.9 KB. sounds like people wants their cake and eat it too ..sick world were living in today..nothing haves true meaning to anything anymore .
    Thanks for the reply. I think I typed too much here. lol
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    I think that both the husband and the wife need psychiatric help for even considering this especially when there are children are involved
    Last edited by Thatdone; Wed, Jan 31st, 2018 at 05:05 PM.

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    Smart Canuck MillieH's Avatar
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    Sometimes in a relationship people drift off from each other.. they develop different jobs, friends etc.. get bored or don't feel special. It's healthy to have different interests but being intimate with another person is destructive.. Work on making the relationship fun and exciting again.. Stop taking each other for granted and look for the good in each other.. research different ways to make love, tease each other, discuss and participate in sexual adventures.. make out in your car.. date.. my husband and drifted apart around the 20ish year mark.. We made a conscious choice to work our way back.. simple little things.. he said he missed me wearing short skirts.. I missed him opening car doors for me.. so I started wearing short skirts and he started opening doors..

    one day we were out.. he was in the house.. made some tea.. after about 15 minutes our daughter said.. where's mom .. lol I was still sitting in the car..he forgot to open the door.. it made us laugh like idiots..

    Bringing another person in is not the answer.. working on our selves and each other is..
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    Misanthrope GoJays's Avatar
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    I think it's none of my, or anyone else's, business what people chose to do in their private lives. Who are we to judge what makes other people happy? Just because your opinion is that it's 'sick' or 'selfish' doesn't mean that it doesn't work for them. Are they hurting me? No. Are they hurting my kids? No. Then who cares?

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    Quote Originally Posted by GoJays View Post
    I think it's none of my, or anyone else's, business what people chose to do in their private lives. Who are we to judge what makes other people happy? Just because your opinion is that it's 'sick' or 'selfish' doesn't mean that it doesn't work for them. Are they hurting me? No. Are they hurting my kids? No. Then who cares?
    I have to agree with you on this. I keep trying to teach my DH this...if it does not affect me then who cares unless of course it is news worthy or important. I do not need a heated discussion or the stress.





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    Quote Originally Posted by GoJays View Post
    I think it's none of my, or anyone else's, business what people chose to do in their private lives. Who are we to judge what makes other people happy? Just because your opinion is that it's 'sick' or 'selfish' doesn't mean that it doesn't work for them. Are they hurting me? No. Are they hurting my kids? No. Then who cares?
    This.
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    you are correct!!
    Quote Originally Posted by Thatdone View Post
    I think that both the husband and the wife need psychiatric help for even considering this especially when there are children are involved
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    Thanks for the sharing and your story and comment is very nice.
    Quote Originally Posted by MillieH View Post
    Sometimes in a relationship people drift off from each other.. they develop different jobs, friends etc.. get bored or don't feel special. It's healthy to have different interests but being intimate with another person is destructive.. Work on making the relationship fun and exciting again.. Stop taking each other for granted and look for the good in each other.. research different ways to make love, tease each other, discuss and participate in sexual adventures.. make out in your car.. date.. my husband and drifted apart around the 20ish year mark.. We made a conscious choice to work our way back.. simple little things.. he said he missed me wearing short skirts.. I missed him opening car doors for me.. so I started wearing short skirts and he started opening doors..

    one day we were out.. he was in the house.. made some tea.. after about 15 minutes our daughter said.. where's mom .. lol I was still sitting in the car..he forgot to open the door.. it made us laugh like idiots..

    Bringing another person in is not the answer.. working on our selves and each other is..

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    you are correct. None of our business and who cares. Yes it is.
    BUT, think about it. If this type of thing gradually agreed in the world. What will be the impact for our next generation? As you said, who cares because none of our business. I would still say you are correct. But there must be some impact for their children, the next generation who around us and impact the world. Please note, i don't mean I am a judge or something. I might just think too big but I do believe every little thing in the world might grow up to be a big thing, especially in this internet world.
    Quote Originally Posted by GoJays View Post
    I think it's none of my, or anyone else's, business what people chose to do in their private lives. Who are we to judge what makes other people happy? Just because your opinion is that it's 'sick' or 'selfish' doesn't mean that it doesn't work for them. Are they hurting me? No. Are they hurting my kids? No. Then who cares?

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    Sith Lady and Cool Kid Darth Penguin's Avatar
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    Honestly, if I'm going to grab my internet pearls and retire to my fainting couch over other people's sexual behavior, it's not going to be over three consenting adults.

    It's going to be over people like Warren Jeffs and his ilk of any religious persuasion who think that being a man entitles them to the bodies of young women, be it as wives or just disposable playthings.


    As a side thought, why do (general) people get more judgy when it's a woman with two men than the other way round? I don't recall ever seeing a consenting polygamous relationship being disapproved off. But nearly every time a consenting polyandrous relationship is discussed it's condemned far more readily.
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    Thanks for you opinion.

    Over the world, there are reasons that why the law sets only one man and one husband in a marriage. No matter of polyandrous or polygamy, I would still disagree both of them as most of the people do in the world. Over thousand years, we get more civilized and more rules to follow in order to maintain the world in peace. Things have the right or wrong. We need to distinguish what is wrong and what is right. Like robbing a bank, if one man does it, of course he needs to go to jail. He is definitely wrong because everyone thinks so. But what if we persuade people this man got so many reasons that he is right to rob the bank, then all the people go together to rob all the stores and banks, at that mess situation, there won't be people to judge if it is wrong anymore. But instead, the world is gona be mess up and even thread the lives. At that time, should we regret to support the man?

    Quote Originally Posted by Darth Penguin View Post
    Honestly, if I'm going to grab my internet pearls and retire to my fainting couch over other people's sexual behavior, it's not going to be over three consenting adults.

    It's going to be over people like Warren Jeffs and his ilk of any religious persuasion who think that being a man entitles them to the bodies of young women, be it as wives or just disposable playthings.


    As a side thought, why do (general) people get more judgy when it's a woman with two men than the other way round? I don't recall ever seeing a consenting polygamous relationship being disapproved off. But nearly every time a consenting polyandrous relationship is discussed it's condemned far more readily.
    Last edited by ConnerDave98; Fri, Feb 2nd, 2018 at 02:03 PM.

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    Mastermind Lynn49's Avatar
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    Ahem.
    I don't believe everyone will be influenced to rob banks OR be unfaithful to their spouses because other people do it.
    There have always been people who bend laws, break them, bring others who are easily persuaded into their circle, but there have also always been GOOD people, and those are the people we should focus on, not the other way around.

    Instead of judging the wrong-doings of others, let's celebrate the goodness there is in people in our families, neighbourhoods, countries, who are trying to do the right thing, who do good for others.

    Let's talk about (because I'm an NFL superfan) the men I just saw being honoured for the work they do outside the football field; the ones who set up their own charities, the ones who tirelessly visit hospitals all year long, and not just for photo sessions, it's only a shame only one player can receive the Walter Payton Humanitarian Award, because I believe they should all be so honoured. As in the NFL, so it goes in our communities, our churches, and simply among our Friends.

    Concentrate on the good in people, look for the good...it's better for your peace of mind.

    As @GoJays and @darthPenguin posted: unless you're directly involved with them in your profession. ignore the weak-minded who deliberately hurt others, create chaos in their marriages, communities, those who dislike their lives so much they have to make it miserable for others

    It does a body and soul good.

    ...hopping gingerly off my soap-box now...
    Last edited by Lynn49; Sat, Feb 3rd, 2018 at 10:26 PM.
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    Misanthrope GoJays's Avatar
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    Hear hear Lynnie! Well said
    Let's move on as this conversation is not going to go anywhere good.
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