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Thread: Last Poster Wins $15

  1. #54661
    boogey-man slayer danger_dan's Avatar
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    LoL Hiya Wend
    DANGER

  2. #54662
    Canadian Genius attitash's Avatar
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    hi Wendark...you working too?

  3. #54663
    boogey-man slayer danger_dan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by attitash View Post
    hi Wendark...you working too?
    she must be hard at work in the arcade.
    DANGER

  4. #54664
    Canadian Genius Tweetybird999's Avatar
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    I'm working away...fingers to the bone...
    LF: Chapman's ice cream and Dare coupons. DS has a peanut allergy so it's the ONLY ones we buy. Lots FT.


  5. #54665
    boogey-man slayer danger_dan's Avatar
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    <hi Tweety>
    wings to the bone?
    DANGER

  6. #54666
    GreatScent Mmmme...'s Avatar
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    Hope everyone enjoyed their Easter long weekend!

    Am back at work and swamped!

    Enjoy the sunshine, minus the wind!
    danger_dan likes this.






  7. #54667
    GreatScent Mmmme...'s Avatar
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    There is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny!

    Read and enjoy the humour . . .

    The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family.

    On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'

    Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

    'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to....'

    'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'


    'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?'


    'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat !.


    After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'


    'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed.


    And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'

    'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!'


    'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time.


    But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'

    'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.


    'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'


    'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly.


    The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures.


    'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.

    'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.


    'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.'


    'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.


    'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right.


    People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look'

    'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.


    'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too.


    The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots.

    Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'

    Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?'


    'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.'


    'Tripod?'


    'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on.


    It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.'
    Mrs.
    Smith fainted!!!
    danger_dan likes this.






  8. #54668
    boogey-man slayer danger_dan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mmmme... View Post
    There is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny!

    Read and enjoy the humour . . .

    The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family.

    On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'

    Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

    'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to....'

    'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'


    'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?'


    'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat !.


    After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'


    'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed.


    And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'

    'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!'


    'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time.


    But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'

    'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.


    'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'


    'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly.


    The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures.


    'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.

    'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.


    'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.'


    'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.


    'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right.


    People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look'

    'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.


    'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too.


    The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots.

    Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'

    Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?'


    'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.'


    'Tripod?'


    'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on.


    It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.'
    Mrs.
    Smith fainted!!!
    Name:  25r30wi.gif
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    holy jeebus!
    that's too much...MADE MY DAY!
    Mmmme... likes this.
    DANGER

  9. #54669
    Canadian Genius Tweetybird999's Avatar
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    hahahahahahaha. Now that is a funny story.
    Mmmme... likes this.
    LF: Chapman's ice cream and Dare coupons. DS has a peanut allergy so it's the ONLY ones we buy. Lots FT.


  10. #54670
    boogey-man slayer danger_dan's Avatar
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    how's work Tweety?
    DANGER

  11. #54671
    Canadian Genius Tweetybird999's Avatar
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    Work...bah humbug.
    danger_dan likes this.
    LF: Chapman's ice cream and Dare coupons. DS has a peanut allergy so it's the ONLY ones we buy. Lots FT.


  12. #54672
    boogey-man slayer danger_dan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tweetybird999 View Post
    Work...bah humbug.
    LoL Name:  Amazed.gif
Views: 121
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    DANGER

  13. #54673
    boogey-man slayer danger_dan's Avatar
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    Name:  mondaysmiley.gif
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    DANGER

  14. #54674
    Mastermind win-star's Avatar
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    Hi

  15. #54675
    boogey-man slayer danger_dan's Avatar
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    Hey Win,
    no work at job two today?
    DANGER

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