Husbands.

[OgresWife]

Sigh. DH and I work in the same store, I am p/t while he is management. We've been kind of missing each other lately due to our work schedules and his choice to go in early (sometimes not his choice) and to stay late (again, sometimes not his choice)

I did a back shift last night(12-8) and he's working 7-4 so we had plans for me to go up around 3 and pick up some groceries and then we'd come home for an evening together. Nothing big.

I get a text from my manager asking if I'd like to come in for a 4-9 tonight. I call DH and let him know. His response? "you told her no right?" and he then gets pissed off because I want to pick up the shift. You may be thinking right now "wouldn't that be overtime??" Yes, yes it will be. Which was my point.

"I thought you were coming up to get groceries?"

"I can do that in the morning"

"Fine, whatever I'm busy I have to go"


Arrrgh, so infuriating.

[francine1985]

it sounds like he was looking forward to spending time with you. I don't know what your finances are and its none of my business. but if you don't absolutely need the money family time is important too. if you do really need the money than he needs to quit being a baby, get his own groceries, and thank you for sacrificing your time off.

but this comment is coming from a stay at home mom so I know more about sacrificing money for family time than a lot of people.

(and before anyone attacks me... yes I know I'm lucky, yes I know there are a lot of women who wish they could stay home with the kids. that still does not minimize what sacrifices ive had to make to make it work.)

[super807]

I also think it's probably because he was looking forward to spending time with you. Anger is his outside reaction, the first one you see, because inside, he's feeling disappointed.

Dh and I don't get a lot of time together. I have weekends off, his days off are during the week. A day when neither of us work and we can do something toghether for the day (i.e. an outing) is rare. We usually only have evenings together, and at least one of us worked that day, so one of us is tired. And we get up early (5 a.m. for him, 5:30 for me) so we go to bed early. I've been frustrated with him sometimes when he opts to work later some days for the overtime. Even if our plans were low key, as in we were just going to have dinner together and hang out, if they get cancelled, I feel ripped off. Sometimes I express it by getting angry. But it's cause I was looking forward to our time together and I'm sad to miss it.

[MrsSunshine]

I'm just a little confused on your schedules. you mentioned getting to have dinner at home. if you worked until 8 and he was done at 4.. how were you spending dinner together. maybe im missing something.
besides that maybe as you've said you don't get alot of time together so when an 'date' is set it can be disappointing when it gets cancelled.

[CrazyQT]

I'm just a little confused on your schedules. you mentioned getting to have dinner at home. if you worked until 8 and he was done at 4.. how were you spending dinner together. maybe im missing something..

How I understood it after reading it a few times is: OP worked 12-8 last night and her husband is working 7-4 today. She would go up today and get groceries at 3 and drive home with him at 4 so they could share the evening together.

I'm sorry, OP that hubby wasn't supportive of your answer. I hope he calms down a bit and isn't angry for too long.

[OgresWife]

Thanks guys. Hes ok now, just doesn't deal with change well, lol.

and QT is right:

I worked 12am-8am
hes working 7am-4pm
I was supposed to head up for groceries at 3pm.

My brains fuzzy, sorry.

[Brooke_]

Oh I did this not too long ago, I didn't know my boyfriend had already invited another couple to go for dinner, so he wasn't impressed! But life goes on.

Glad to hear its all blown over now!

[Darth Penguin]

Oh I did this not too long ago, I didn't know my boyfriend had already invited another couple to go for dinner, so he wasn't impressed! But life goes on.

o

Off topic but...

who invites another couple over for a meal and neglects to tell his/her partner? That's not your fault for not being available. It's his. General You may not have picked up an extra shift but might have an unexpected reason for not being at home like a family illness or a rescheduled appointment..

[hollyquaiscer]

As we age, we realize how important that time is with loved ones. I have found that most men (not all) have a hard time expressing their true emotions. He was probably really looking forward to spending time with you and the only way he knew to express his feelings were with anger.

Just a side note, to make, and keep any relationship strong, you need to spend time together and look after one another's needs. If not...well, that how divorce happens. Keep the lines of communication open

[walkonby]

O.P. as an experienced ( some might say seasoned ) one half of a couple that spent every work day for 35+ years as ships passing in the night, I can certainly appreciate both sides of your post. Your DH was unable to say " wah!!! I want you here! " , but God love him he tried in his own way. I am glad he is o.k. now. Hang in there, those shifts are building a strong resolve for the two of you and in the end they make you appreciate each other when you do have a minute, or an hour to share together.