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A man goes to a bar with his dog ...
A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog." "Oh man, " the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.
Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog." The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!"
The second man replies "This is my seeing-eye dog." The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chihuahuas as seeing-eye dogs." The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!?"
Wordperfect Customer Support
Actual dialogue of a former Wordperfect Customer Support Employee (CSE)
Customer Support Employee (CSE): May I help you?
Customer: Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.
CSE: What sort of trouble?
Customer: Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.
CSE: Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?
Customer: Nothing.
CSE: Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?
Customer: How do I tell?
CSE: Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?
Customer: What's a sea-prompt?
CSE: Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?
Customer: There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I
type.
CSE: Does your monitor have a power indicator?
Customer: What's a monitor?
CSE: It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?
Customer: I don't know.
CSE: Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?
Customer: Yes, I think so.
CSE: Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Customer: I can't. It's dark out here.
CSE: Dark?
Customer: There's a power outage.
CSE: A power... A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in with?
Customer: Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.
CSE: Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.
Customer: Really? Is it that bad?
CSE: Yes, I'm afraid it is.
Customer: Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?
CSE: Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer.
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