Vinyl 95.3

[Babygirl1]

The Tax Office decides to audit Grandad, and summons him to their office.

The auditor was not surprised when Grandad showed up with his lawyer.

The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the Tax Office finds that believable.'

I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandad. 'How about a demonstration?'

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'

Grandad says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'

The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.

Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'

Now the auditor can tell Grandad isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandad removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandad's lawyer as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandad asks 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandad stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.

But Grandad's own lawyer moans and puts his head in his hands.

'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.

'Not really,' says the lawyer. 'This morning, when Grandad told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'

Don't Mess with Old People!

[Babygirl1]

Live long enough to be a REAL concern to your kids!

[Babygirl1]

They will always love you

[Babygirl1]

I just want to make sure I make the KIDS happy

[Babygirl1]

[Babygirl1]

[Babygirl1]

Hi there gang I was wondering if any one knows how to remove my profile.

Ask feetfrown how to!!! He knows everything....He is a pro on here.... Maybe MechMan would too.... Their Great Guys, very helpfull and cool too... ok Mate. How's the weather?? Nice & perfect like always eh!!!!!

[LostOZ]

Ask feetfrown how to!!! He knows everything....He is a pro on here.... Maybe MechMan would too.... Their Great Guys, very helpfull and cool too... ok Mate. How's the weather?? Nice & perfect like always eh!!!!!

Thanks I will have to get around to it and the weather is fine just a little rain. Could be stormy soon never know .... there is a low coming ....

[Babygirl1]

Attachment 51667

so sweet it is

[edwards1411]

Sleuth: chortle

chortle \CHOR-tl\, transitive and intransitive verb:
1. To utter, or express with, a snorting, exultant laugh or chuckle.
noun:
1. A snorting, exultant laugh or chuckle.

Benjamin himself chortled now, an odd laugh to which I grew accustomed in years to come.
-- Jay Parini, Benjamin's Crossing

Even Isaksson's stern wife, who rarely cracked a smile, chortled with glee, and Old Mothstead slapped his thighs and flapped his apron and danced around the couple, who moved in ever larger rings amongst the kegs.
-- Kerstin Ekman, Witches' Rings, translated by Linda Schenck

A nation that was used to chortling over Charlie Chaplin or rejoicing with the high-stepping Ziegfeld girls found itself drawn to this more refined, decidedly European entertainment.
-- Larry Tye, The Father of Spin

Chortle a combination of chuckle and snort. It was coined by Lewis Carroll (Charles L. Dodgson), in Through the Looking-Glass, published in 1872.

[edwards1411]

Thanks for all the trivia and special code words - much appreciated!!!

Attachment 51726

[Babygirl1]

Thanks for all the trivia and special code words - much appreciated!!!

Attachment 51726

Ahhhh val that is so adorable.. Reminds me when one of my boy's was that young sleeping with his kitty
You have a great night too.. Luv Cassie

[Babygirl1]

Good Night to all and sleep well & peaceful.. Thanks Char for your help today.. God bless you all. Thank you God for Getting ecat there & home again safely, and to all my cool friends.. All my sweet loving and kind friends I have.. Thanks hicks and kitten, Char, Val, ecat, Mechman & feetfrown, H team,Madchives, and so many more of you.Be well all night and cy all again soon.. AND THIS IS FOR ALL FROM LETTER A- Z and all your loved ones as well.... Your friend Cassie Till the End.. xo xo xo xo xo NIGHT ALL

[ecat444]

Good Night!

[Babygirl1]

30 Days of Contest trivia - Enhanced but impersonal.