Chronic Pain Management Support Group

[Andit]

Since the transplant, things are better in some ways, worse in others. The running joke is that I keep switching one disease for another - gotta keep my plate full.

I'm in a weird mood these days. I'm getting frustrated with the folks in my life. I love them dearly, but there are days I want to run away. I think I'm just tired. I've been helping a friend with health issues, but it's taking a toll on me. She's come to expect me to be there, which would be fine if I were healthy. But if I say I'm tired, she's quick to say that I should stop going over to the theatre (she doesn't see that helping her tires me out more). & then another friend will say, I shouldn`t be helping her cause it`s too much for me, but can I please help with x. Then someone else will say that I`m doing too much to help those friends, I should rest, but first can`t I do this for her. So I end up helping everyone & am running on empty. I`m just getting frustrated that everyone seems to think that because I`m not working, I`m sitting on the couch all day eating bonbons & bored & need a `project`, which they`re all too happy to give me. When really all I want is time to myself.

Then I feel guilty. Cause they`ve all been so good to me. I just sometimes need a vacation from my lifestyle, I think.

[Skippy]

#1 Rule we need to take care of ourselves irrespective of anything or
anyone else.If we don't we'll end up sicker,and the cycle will continue.
I know this is easier said than done,and I say this as much for myself.

[Skippy]

I hope it works for you Skippy.

Thanks,I got my "old" stuff again,but am still in great pain.Unfortunately the stronger stuff makes me sicker.

[dealsniffer]

I am so sorry to hear that Skippy. Is there anything in between the two? I hope things get better and Andit you have to take care of yourself or else you can't be there very well for anyone else and if they have a problem with it-that is too bad. Also when dealing with chronic pain we have less energy than normal and sometimes with me all I have energy for is to just get thru the day let alone help others. I am pretty sure it is the same for everyone else. I know this is possibly not good advice but could you sit down with them and explain how you are doing and say that you are running on empty and need to take time for yourself? Maybe say that sometimes you may have to say no even tho you don't want to? I don't know if this helps but I don't know what to say exactly. I really hope you can get some rest!

[Andit]

I know this is possibly not good advice but could you sit down with them and explain how you are doing and say that you are running on empty and need to take time for yourself?

I did & for the most part things are ok. Part of it is my reluctance to worry them about my health (cause I put them through so much when I was really really sick).

It's only been the last couple of weeks that have been bad. One of the problems is the one friend I've been helping every day, I seem to be the only one capable of helping her. She got very sick last yr & had hurt herself by falling when she got bumped in a crowded mall. So now she gets panic attacks that she's gonna fall when around lots of people. & in Toronto, that's inevitable. So I've been helping her work through the panic (& she's come a very long way). The funny thing is I know her so well, that she can describe a situation to me & I can tell her exactly what she did to put herself in the situation that caused the attack (for example, too far from the top step, so when she tried to go down the stairs, she felt she was going to fall forward; tried to turn too quickly, so she threw her balance off to the side; tried to walk beside a certain wall, but the ground is uneven there, so she felt like she was going to fall & panic attack came on when the buildign ended & an alleyway had to be crossed). So, because I know what caused it & can tell her so, she can concentrate on the cause (she's a bit too analytical, that's part of the problem) & work through it. The problem is if someone else is with her, they either try the tough love approach (just do it already) or let her avoid the situation altogether by taking another route (which then sets the panic in deeper). I've somehow mastered the knack of being somewhere in the middle, forcing her to confront it without her feeling like it's too overwhelming. Kinda hard to explain.

I just needed to vent. It just seems that when one person needs me, everyone needs me. & while it's nice to feel needed, sometimes I wish they could just help each other & leave me out of the situation.

Ah, but life is good overall. Just a little overwhelming sometimes.

Hope everyone has a (relatively) pain free day.

[tidytaurus]

#1 Rule we need to take care of ourselves irrespective of anything or
anyone else.If we don't we'll end up sicker,and the cycle will continue.
I know this is easier said than done,and I say this as much for myself.

So very true, after the weekend I was unable to do anything yesterday and today feels like a wasted day as well so far.

Andit you sound like a wonderful friend to have because you actually tuned into your friends problem, I hope you get the you time you need because you have gone through so much.

Dealsniffer thx for sharing the drs telling you it was all in your head must have totally been horrible, how can that much pain be imagined.

Skippy I'm sorry your body did not tollerate the stronger meds maybe there is something else thats not so hard on your stomach? Sorry you spent the weekend being a close friend to the porcelin bowl.

I hope everyone has a better day today, I am going to try.

[Skippy]

Sucks because now more than ever,my back will not tolerate the cooler temps.
I am in such pain now,that I can't wait for bedtime

[Andit]

Sucks because now more than ever,my back will not tolerate the cooler temps.
I am in such pain now,that I can't wait for bedtime

So sorry to hear that. I'm not looking forward to the inevitable cold either, cause it means my fingers stop working properly.

I know, what say you we cash in our candies & run off to Rio? OK, who wants to join us?

Hope you feel better.

[Natalka]

Great choice! Let's meet up for Carnivale!

[Skippy]

For some reason I can't walk on my right foot,the pain is incredible.
I hope and pray it is only temporary.

[Mia001]

For some reason I can't walk on my right foot,the pain is incredible.
I hope and pray it is only temporary.

sorry to hear that ,

i keep praying for you Skippy and for all those who need it

even though i don't tell on the forum i see who needs it and where it needs

may every one be blessed by my prayers
sincerely
Mia

[Skippy]

sorry to hear that ,

i keep praying for you Skippy and for all those who need it

even though i don't tell on the forum i see who needs it and where it needs

may every one be blessed by my prayers
sincerely
Mia

Thank you Mia for your prayers,they are greatly appreciated.
May you in turn be blessed

[Andit]

For some reason I can't walk on my right foot,the pain is incredible.
I hope and pray it is only temporary.

Are you feeling any better today?

Keeping you in my thoughts & prayers.

[tidytaurus]

Skippy I am very concerned for you, are you doing the same or was this temporary?? This constant pain I have is so draining but it is nothing compared to everyone elses troubles. I finally have an MRI scheduled after all this time, hopefully it will show why I am having this pain. I have not gone back to my dr for pain meds I have been doing without so am not a nice person most of the time.

[Skippy]

Are you feeling any better today?

Keeping you in my thoughts & prayers.

Thanks for asking,thoughts are good but prayer is better!
I always expect the worst when something like this happens,but today it has settled down.On the other hand walking sucks because of other pain.
But I would rather have that.