Just wanted to say thank you funn2009 for starting this group. It is really nice to know that I am not alone with this. I have a 2 year old son and our 2nd child is due in April. I love spending time with my son and I wouldn't trade my life for anything. And I am fortunate enough to get a couple of hours after he goes to bed...but sometimes it would be so wonderful to just get out of the house and do something with my husband as a couple, you know? It's hard to concentrate on watching a movie and being affectionate when you have a 2 year old demanding your attention!
You are more than welcome Vibrant. Thanks for joining. I know how you feel. My 3 year old is everything to me, but i havr lost myself in him. His dad and I rarely talk about anythhing other than him. We NEVER do couples stuff, including sex. On top of it all I have decided to homeschool. My main problem is that I don't have a support team to babysit. I was told to try and do the date thing at home..THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE. I can't relax and have a"date" at home surrounded by toys, laundry, cats, dishes etc.
I know what you mean. My family lives 1 1/2 hours away and DH's is 5 hours away from us, and we don't have friends in the area to babysit. DH's parents really want us to move closer to them, which we may eventually do, but I'm not crazy on the idea even though they would babysit for us. I'm not sure where you live, but I've noticed that sometimes in cities you can find groups where the Mom's trade off on babysitting....like someone would babysit your son for a night one week and then you'd babysit their child kind of thing.
Oh my! This group is totally for me. I definately feel guilty for wanting more for me. I had some PPD after my second. Im feeling better now. She's 7 months and my oldest is 3. I dont really have anyone to babysit. DH has disowned his family and mine, well.... they either have no experience with kids or I dont trust them. My mother comes over once a month to babysit for me so I can have a ladies night. Dh works like a madman. I always thought that I wouldn't be one of those wives that complained that their man worked too much but I am. I want him too. He's a mgr of a bar/restaurant so his hrs are crazy!!! My oldest acts up when she doesnt get to spend time with him and that stresses me even more cause I feel like I have to make up for it. I really want to put the kids in daycare and go back to work but its not very cost effective. I feel REALLY guilty about this. Im losing all my social skills cause aside from small talk at the park with other moms, I talk only to my kids all day. Im glad I not the only one who feels like this.
HI everyone! thanks for creating this group! I totally understand what you guys are saying...sometimes we loose ourselves in our children, and neglect our hubbies. I was one of them! It wasnt until i read an article in a parenting magazine that shed some light on how i should deal with the situation. THe article basically advises that although we love our children, and we wnat to meet their every need possible, we should not neglect the needs of our spouses. It also says that Children feel most loved/happy is when the parents show their love for each other. Something along the lines of that..( i don't quite remember the full article, but tha'ts the jist of it) Tha's when i realized i need to pay more attention to my hubby and lighten the attention on the children, afterall, we (hubby & i) came first...without the hubby, there would be no children. So perhaps this helps..work on your marriage first, and everything will fall into place...even if it means shutting out that demanding 2 yr old for a brief 5 mins *i hope i doidnt offend anyone in any way!*
I am completely 100% devoted to my child. He is 17 months old and I am absolutely head over heels in love with that little boy. I love his father, but we, too, have issues talking only about him. We don't have the conversations that we used to have. We don't have sex as often as we used too. But, part of that is my fault. I am currently 8 months pregnant with number two, and have had NO sex drive while pregnant this time. It is definately not like me. Because of it, DH resents me a little bit. I, too, really have no one to look after DS, but when someone does offer, we definately take advantage of it and go out, but we always end up talking about our son.
Great group! Fits me perfect My son is only 8 months old and I am happy if I get to shower and have my boyfriend watch him let alone go out. Going out without son is something very foreign lol I trust absolutely NOBODY with him, so I am my own worst enemy here. I can't really say that I am neglecting my boyfriend, I think that our relationship is back to where it should be but it would be so nice to be able to just go out for dinner or something like that. *SIGH* Maybe I will loosen up a bit soon and have someone babysit lol
Well guys it has been awhile. Got lost in motherhood and taking care of my parents. so once again Hubby & I are on the back burners. This causes arguements and feelings of not being important on both sides. We are trying to talk and work things out, but has felt so out of the loop so he moved to another province so that we have real time to work on ourselves so that we can be a WE. my lil man starts kindergarten in September and so hopefully thing with Hubby can get on track. Wish me luck
I just found this group and Im glad i did and im not alone! I have 2 kids 13 and 3. My 13 yr old has gone on trip for weeks at a time, sleepovers,ect and it doesnt bother me But to be away from my 3 yr old kills me! Hes my baby. Its extreamly seldom that hes not attached to my hip. Im a SAHM and he refuses to sleep in his own bed so we are litterally together 24/7. Sometimes I want him to detach from me so i go out for a drink or something with the girls but then once im out I just wanna go back home!!!
I love this group because I can relate. I have two girls - 16 and 12 years old. I had my 1st child at 18 and my whole identity was about being a mom. I lost friends, quit school, got a job and my life switch gears. There is 2 great things that happened from "losing myself" 1) I went back to University part time and finished my BA last May after 5 years of hard work 2) I will be having baby no. 3 (a boy!!) later this summer. I learned the hard way nut this baby will have a mom who knows herself well and takes time for herself in order to be a great mom everyday!!
