Club Q Q107-Loyalty Club (Southern ON Only) v2

[Mmmme...]

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.
The waitress asks them for their orders.
The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to
the ostrich, "What's yours?"
"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will
be $9.40 please." The man reaches into his pocket and
pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the
man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke.."
The ostrich says, "I'll have the same.."
Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?"
asks the waitress.

"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and
a salad," says the man.
"Same," says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and
places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me,
sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change
in your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and
found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered
me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything,
I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money
would always be there.."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress.. "Most people would ask for a
million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want
for as long as you live!"

"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact
money is always there," says the man..

The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"

The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick
with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say.."

WELL HELLO !!!!!!
What are you looking at?

[Mmmme...]

DUH!!! I wonder if it pays ....hmmmmmmmm



I couldn't believe this ad....

[mflourei]

DUH!!! I wonder if it pays ....hmmmmmmmm



I couldn't believe this ad....

Awww too bad its expired, thats a killer deal

[Mmmme...]

The service station trade was slow
The owner sat around,
With sharpened knife and cedar stick
Piled shavings on the ground.
No modern facilities had they,
The log across the rill
Led to a shack, marked His and Hers
That sat against the hill.
"Where is the ladies restroom, sir?"
The owner leaning back,
Said not a word but whittled on,
And nodded toward the shack.




With quickened step she entered there
But only stayed a minute,
Until she screamed, just like a snake
Or spider might be in it.
With startled look and beet red face
She bounded through the door,
And headed quickly for the car
Just like three gals before.
She missed the foot log - jumped the stream
The owner gave a shout,
As her silk stockings, down at her knees
Caught on a sassafras sprout.
She tripped and fell - got up, and then
In obvious disgust,
Ran to the car, stepped on the gas,
And faded in the dust.
Of course we all desired to know
What made the gals all do
The things they did, and then we found
The whittling owner knew.
A speaking system he'd devised
To make the thing complete,
He tied a speaker on the wall
Beneath the toilet seat.



He'd wait until the gals got set
And then the devilish tike,
Would stop his whittling long enough,
To speak into the mike.
And as she sat, a voice below
Struck terror, fright and fear,
"Will you please use the other hole,
We're painting under here!"

[Mmmme...]

I am sure it caused great anguish amongst potential buyers.
That is what you call a deal breaker
Wasn't that when the US economy was still in the gutter??
I know it still is...

If only more home builders had offered great deals like that.....

Awww too bad its expired, thats a killer deal

[Mmmme...]

QUESTION:
Where do the characters go when I use the backspace or delete on my PC?
ANSWER:
If you must know, the characters can go to different places, depending on whom you ask:

1) The Catholic's approach to characters:
The nice characters go to character heaven, where life is good. The characters are bathed in the light of happiness, all their troubles are soothed, and there's not a delete key, eraser, or white-out bottle in sight. Most of the nice characters are A's and I's, those that have never been, er, involved with other characters. Often, you'll see A's or I's with N's or T's. These are characters in love: monogamous on the page, together again after deletion. You'll see quite a few Q's too. They seem to feel particularly guilty for no good reason.

The naughty characters are punished for their sins. In case you were wondering what the difference between a nice character and a naughty character is, I'll tell you. Naughty characters are those involved in the creation of naughty words, such as "breast," "sex," "objectivity," and depending upon usage, words such as "feminism," "reproductive freedom," "contraception," and "science." You may ask, and rightly so, why the characters are blamed for the words they assemble, when in fact they are not responsible for their own configuration. But we feel that a character has an obligation to oppose any naughtiness in its own configuration. If it truly felt guilty about the word it was forming, it would rebel.

2) The Buddhist Explanation:
If a character has lived rightly, and its karma is good, then after it has been deleted it will be reincarnated as a different, higher character. Those funny characters above the numbers on your keyboard will become numbers, numbers will become letters, lower-case letters will become upper-case, and the most righteous and good of letters will become C's. Why C, you ask? Who knows, but C it is! If a character's karma is not so good, then it will move down the above scale, ultimately becoming the lowest of characters, a space.

3) The 20th Century bitter cynical nihilist explanation:
Who cares? All characters are the same, swirling in a vast sea of meaningless nothingness. It doesn't really matter if they're on the page, deleted, undeleted, underlined, etc. It's all the same. More characters should delete themselves. (nihilist characters are easy to identify. They're usually pale and tragic, and they smoke a lot.)

4) The Mac user's explanation:
All the characters written on a PC and then deleted go straight to PC hell. If you're using a PC, you can probably see the deleted characters, because you're in PC hell also.

5) Stephen King's explanation:
Every time you hit the <Del> key you unleash a tiny monster inside the cursor, who tears the poor unsuspecting characters to shreds, drinks their blood, then eats them, bones and all. Hah, hah, hah!

6) Dave Barry's explanation:
The deleted characters are shipped to Battle Creek, Michigan, where they're made into Pop-Tart filling; this explains why Pop-Tarts are so flammable, while cheap imitations are not as flammable. I'm not making any of this up.

7) IBM's explanation:
The characters are not real. They exist only on the screen when they are needed, as concepts, so to delete them is merely to de-conceptualize them. Get a life.

8) PETA's Explanation:
You've been DELETING them???? Can't you hear them SCREAMING??? Why don't you go CLUB some BABY SEALS while wearing a MINK, you pig!!!!!!
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======================
My wife and I are both in an Internet business, but she's the one who truly lives, eat, and breathes computers. I finally realized how bad it had gotten when I was scratching her back one day.
"No, not there," she directed. "Scroll down."

[the H team]

Thank you the H team.

They do not stock them in Buffalo. You will need to get your size shippd there. Mine are a 7

hey me too! perfect!

[the H team]

NOTE: The astronomer Philip Plait has stated very clearly that the Mayan calendar does not end in 2012 at all, that it is like the odometer on your car, as each section of the odometer reaches 9 and then clicks over to 0, the next number to it starts a new cycle, so that when all the numbers again reach 0 all the way across the odometer - the last number will change from 1 to 2 and the new cycle starts all over again.

cool, so does that mean we get to start all over again too? we can avoid redoing all the mistakes we did the first time around.

[divotman]

Have a great long weekend everyone.
Have a three day golf tourny to do this weekend.
First tee time is at 8 am for me tomorrow.
I plan on finishing in the top ten. I HOPE?
Hit it long, and keep it in the short grass.

[Andit]

Good afternoon, everyone.

Parental units came by this morning for a visit. Had fun trying to explain to Rev Can over the phone that my parents are not divorced, as per their insistance. Still have some follow up to do, but hopefully their tax probs are solved.

I'm thinking I should send the roommates to work there, at least if someone's taxes got screwed up, they could offer kisses to calm folks down.

Hope everyone has a chance to enjoy the sunshine.

[Lee03]

Hey everyone!! Have a super fantastic long week-end!!! I'm outta here and heading for "meeting" in my floating office (wink, wink....)

See you Monday night - or Tuesday morning.....

[Mmmme...]

I will keep you in mind if they are too big.

hey me too! perfect!

[Mmmme...]

Makes me wonder about the persons responsible
for the signage for their company...

What were they thinking.... or not?

[Mmmme...]

You are playing by yourself....?

Did everyone die and go elsewhere today,
or am I the only one at work besides the H-Team?

[virrys]

Lollll... its sign time!