Is this the "Terrible Twos"???!!

[shejayd]

Isaac is almost 23 months old, 4 days short. For the last 2 weeks he has been a little hellion! A little demon. He is constantly defying me and his dad and grandma, throwing, tossing, screaming, biting, playing with things even after you say "DONT TOUCH!" then when you are done with that he is off to something else, like playing with the TV or kicking gates down. I feel like all I do is yell at him. Yesterday his cousin was over (I was bbsitting) and I felt like I had to protect her from him, he kept stealing toys, whapping her on the head, sitting on her. He has stopped napping all together for the last 4 days (He used to nap 3hrs a day and still go to bed 8-8). And he started getting up at 6am. I was so frusterated yesterday I had to put him in his crib and go outside on my balconey and finish my lunch, meanwhile I am shaking so bad I am losing my lunch all over the ground because it won't stay on my fork. Then I am in such a bad mood all day. If this is the terrible 2's I am sure I will get used to it, but OMG, its horrible. Any advise, insight, tips would be welcomed. Thanks sc parents.

[Natalka]

Oh, boy... first of all, no yelling - bite your lip, do whatever you have to, but just don't yell.
Do the exact opposite - talk slowly and calmly, with you down at his level. Explain what he did wrong very simply, and say what the correct behaviour is.

The biggest change you have to make is start on positive reinforcement - he's itching for attention and has found your buttons, and he's getting tons of attention from doing negative things. You need to re-focus yourself and concentrate on praising his good behaviours - no matter how small they are!

For things he is getting into - get them out of his reach, even if it's inconvenient for you. Any toy he abuses or misuses, put it away. Let him see you throw it in the garbage (you can rescue it later).

It's hard at first, but this can turn around really, really quickly to a much better situation. It takes consistency - again, that's hard work, but it's best to put in the effort now and nip this in the bud. You don't want him still doing all of this at four and at six!

He wants you, he wants your time. Make sure you do things with him that have your full attention - not watching tv or a movie together, but reading, playing games and with toys, doing crafty things, heading outside to a park, or even shopping! He's at the age where he can do LOTS of things to help you, too!

I wish you luck - many of us have been there, but things can and will get better!

(btw, I never used the expression 'the terrible twos', I just don't like labeling, but I know many parents still use it...)

[amandamck]

Terribel twos, friggin 3's and f@#in 4's, that's what someone told me. I think 5 is the golden age, they still need you but they're very independent too. It will get better but I do remember those days. Big hugs for you, glass of wine in the afternoon never hurt anyone

[nadiabreckon]

I totally get where you're coming from! DS is 19 months and knows every single one of my buttons, and pushes them multiple times a day! Grrrr...

DH just got back from sailing yesterday, and today was actually one of his worst days! I thought the last 6 weeks alone with the little booger were bad, but today was just the icing on the cake! Not sure if he is thinking he can get away with everything because daddy is home, but golly gee, he's got another thing coming!

I agree with putting him in his crib when you're frustrated, and you know what, we all go through it. There's no need to do something we will regret doing, so that's sometimes the safest option! *hugs* I've done it before, and still do it to this day...time-outs don't always work, and sometimes "alone-time" as I call it, is usually what helps a little...sometimes he even falls asleep and wakes up a totally different toddler!

Sometimes you can't help but yell, seriously, I feel like that's all I do too...if I feel like I've crossed boundaries and I hurt his feelings, I just give him a huge hug and appologize...really, there's nothing much more I can do at this stage. As for him being physical with other kids, I really think this is a boy thing. DS is the same way, he will literally lay down on another child at playgroup and think it's the funniest thing! I try not to laugh about it, and he's not doing it to hurt the other kid, he's just a little rough (not sure where it comes from, he's an only child and only plays with kids his own age and I have no clue where he has learned that behavior from, we don't play rough with him).

Anyway, everybody has a different way of parenting, and there is no wrong way of doing it! (unless of course, it gets physical, but I somehow don't believe any of us would ever take that route)...

Most people will give you their suggestions, but it's truly what you feel in your heart. I take each idea with a grain of salt (sometimes some are harder to take than others) and if I like it, then I adjust my parenting skills in order to accomodate it! Good Luck, and hopefully he outgrows this stage sooner rather than later!

[SmackUTwice]

Aww.

Good advice from ^.

My daughter, at two, had moments here and there... but meh. But NOW, at three... it IS the "Terrible THREES!" Grrrrrrrr, lol!

[shejayd]

Thanks ladies, I will take all of this into concideration. He is being pretty good today. Its nice to be able to have an outlet where other moms (and dads too) have been through the same. I really appreciate it.

[gameprogirl]

Terribel twos, friggin 3's and f@#in 4's, that's what someone told me. I think 5 is the golden age, they still need you but they're very independent too. It will get better but I do remember those days. Big hugs for you, glass of wine in the afternoon never hurt anyone

You hit it right on the nose. My kid was a demon, we used to nickname him chucky. I have stories that would make you think your toddler was an angel. I think boys are worse than girls during the 2-5 yr reign. My boy started a fire at 5 am, cut all the dogs hair off, left the house in a diaper, coloured all over the house, dumped a whole 4litre bag of milk, salad dressing, burnt plates on the stovetop, peeing in the corner of his room, I kid you not, I would constantly wake up to one horror or the next everyday! It got so bad, we had to put up a lock with a key so he couldn't run out in the middle of the night, and he was sneaky, silent, doing his deeds in the middle of the night. I woke up to the smoke alarm 3 times over those yrs. My kid is now 15 and he laughs about it all now, but having all this happen was the reason I never had another child. It was way too much stress and worry.

[dawn_sweety]

i agree with Natalka, right now I work in a toddler room (so i have up 14 of them some days) being calm when you talk to them makes a huge difference. Set limits and stick to them, if you are inconsistent then the rules wont have any effect (even if its a little hit you have to stop them and get them to say sorry, explain that it hurts! I do this multiple time every day "that hurts so and so" or "I don't like when you hit your friends" etc.) I statements work wonders (even on adults sometimes) "I don't like when you....... (throw your toys) because.... (they might break or hurt if they hit someone).

It's definitely a tough age but it's also very true the more one on one time they get the better behaved they tend to be..... also if they're are annoying little things that they do that wont cause harm to themselves, anyone else or anything else then just ignore and when they realize it doesnt get your attention it will go away.

good luck and definitely take a breather for yourself when you need it, it's natural and the best way to cope (also shows a lot of self control because you realize that you need that break and take the steps to do it and make yourself feel better)