Club Q Q107-Loyalty Club (Southern ON Only) v4

[Spartacus]

Good morning my Q friends


on Hump Day. Good for both days I'd say.

[Andit]

Latest News


QMI Agency

May 19, 2014 , Last Updated: 4:30 PM ET

A frisky drunk who tried to get personal with a cash machine and a picnic table cooled off behind bars Friday night.
Police in Murfreesboro, Tenn., say Lonnie Hutton, 49, strutted into the Boro Bar and Grill, cozied up to the ATM, pulled down his pants and underwear and then attempted to have sexual intercourse with the machine.
According to wate.com, responding officers found Hutton, still nude from the waist down, walking around the bar, thrusting his hips in the air.
They took Hutton outside and told him to sit at a wooden picnic table.
The police report said he “exposed himself again and engaged in sexual intercourse with the wooden picnic table.”
Hutton was charged with public intoxication and booked into the Rutherford County jail on $250 bond.
He is scheduled to appear in court July 1.

Am I the only one who hopes he gets splinters so he can really learn his lesson???

[The Jester]

Am I the only one who hopes he gets splinters so he can really learn his lesson???

My client will only consider this as additional wood and rests his case

[kawam]

Morning all

[The Jester]

Can't recall if I posted this before; but just in case..........http://www.wimp.com/multiplynumbers/

[rock lobster]

My client will only consider this as additional wood and rests his case

Now that's a REAL woody.
He should rest more than his case!

[alohamom]

Anyone else a fan? I love the Skylar one

[alohamom]

No DNA tests needed for these little ones

[Knottythots]

Good Morning

[Knottythots]

A Cowboy sitting in a saloon one Saturday night recognized an elderly man standing at the bar who, in his day, had the reputation of being the fastest gun in the West.

The young cowboy took a place next to the old-timer, bought him a drink and told him the story of his great ambition. 'Do you think you could give me some tips?' he asked.

The old man looked him up and down and said, 'Well, for one thing, you're wearing your gun too high, tie the holster a little lower down on your leg.'

'Will that make me a better gunfighter?' asked the young man.

'Sure will, 'replied the old-timer.

The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his 44 and shot the bow tie off the piano player.

'That's terrific!' said the hot shot. 'Got any more tips for me?'

'Yep,' said the old man. 'Cut a notch out of your holster where the hammer hits it, that'll give you a smoother draw'

'Will that make me a better gunfighter?' asked the younger man.

'You bet it will,' said the old-timer.

The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun in a blur, and then shot a cufflink off the piano player.

'Wow!' exclaimed the cowboy 'I'm learnin' somethin' here. Got any more tips?'

The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon. 'See that axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it.'

The young man went over to the can and smeared some of the grease on the barrel of his gun. 'No'; said the old-timer, 'I mean smear it all over the gun, handle and all.'

'Will that make me a better gunfighter?' asked the young man.

'No,' said the old-timer, 'but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing the piano, he's gonna shove that gun up your a_s, and it won't hurt as much.

[ecat444]

Almost to the H.S. - had to take my sweater off - it's warm out there!

Have a good one!

[The Jester]

Good Morning

New
blue for you KT-congratz

[ecat444]

I WAS SOMEBODY
Until Wednesday, I was Nobody. Uncared for and unseen.
Until Wednesday, when the death truck spilled me onto the road in my plastic prison, when ...violence and death deafened all five senses, when brutal men tore apart my friends' bodies while I watched and screamed: until then, I was Nobody.
And then. And then I became Somebody.
The moment kind hands pulled my broken body out of my twisted crate, the moment gentle arms cradled me and carried me to safety, the moment I was softly laid on the floor and given water: in that moment, I became Somebody.
For the last three days, my name was Mireya. It means miracle. For the last three days, I have felt more joy than I have felt my whole life. I have sat on the grass and felt its dew beneath my feet, its bitter taste on my tongue. I have felt the sun on my worn out wings, and its gentle warmth has rocked me to sleep. I have felt the excitement of delicious food, been fascinated by a worm, enjoyed the gentle sensation of having my face cleaned. I have been kissed and stroked, and I have felt loved.
Tonight, though, my broken body could take no more. Tonight, I peacefully passed away while my new human spilled tears of anguish and told me she loved me. Tonight I heard about Rainbow Bridge as my eyes closed for the last time and I drifted into deep darkness. I am not in pain now. Tonight, I am finally free.
I want you to remember me as Somebody. The next time you eat our butchered bodies or buy the eggs we laid in our metal prisons, I want you to remember that I was Somebody. We are all Somebody. You just don't know our names.
Please share this far and wide. Help make Mireya's life and death count for something

[ecat444]

Here's a story to tug your heart strings and rinse your morning eyes: http://www.google.ca/url?sa=t&rct=j&...67229260,d.b2U

soooo nice they got out but so sad they had to go through that hell and lonliness, I can't see through my tears!!!!

[The Jester]