Now this is sweet revenge
One hot July day we found an old straggly cat at our door. She was a sorry sight. Starving, dirty, smelled terrible, skinny and
hair all matted down. We felt sorry for her, put her in a carrier and took her to the vet. We didn't know what to call her, so we named her
"Pussycat." The vet decided to keep her for a day or so. He said he would let us know when we could come and get her. My husband (the complainer) said, "OK, but don't forget to wash her, she stinks." He reminded the vet that it was his WIFE that wanted the dirty cat, not him My husband and my Vet don't see eye to eye. He calls my husband "El-Cheap-O," my husband calls him El-Take-O." They love to hate each other and constantly"snipe" at each other, with my husband getting in the last word on this occasion. The next day my husband had an appointment with his doctor, who is located next door to the vet. The doctor's office was full of people waiting to see him. A side door opened and in leaned the vet; he had obviously seen my husband arrive. He looked straight at my husband and in a loud voice said, "Your wife's pussy is finally clean and shaved and she now smells like a rose. Oh, and, by the way, I think she's pregnant. God knows who the father is!" And he closed the door.
Now THAT, my friends, is getting even.
Another one from the "vault"
Jenny was so tired trying to do it all, but one evening, she arrived home from work to find
the children fed, bathed, and doing homework, one load of clothes in the washer and another
in the dryer, dinner on the stove, and the table set. She was astonished -- something was up.
It turns out that Ralph had read an article that said wives who worked full-time and had to do
their own housework were too tired to have sex. The night went well and the next day, she told
her office friends all about it. "We had a great dinner. Ralph even cleaned up.
He helped the kids do their homework, folded all the laundry and put everything away. I really
enjoyed the evening."
"But what about afterward?" asked her friends.
"Oh, that was perfect, too. Ralph was too tired..."
The Blonde and the Jigsaw Puzzle
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and
help me. I had a killer jigsaw puzzle and I can't figure out how to get it
started."
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a
tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets
him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then
turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be
able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's
have a nice cup of tea, and then....." he sighed, "Let's put all these Frosted Flakes back
in the box."