Club Q Q107-Loyalty Club (Southern ON Only) v4

[waynethegolfer]

[Spartacus]

Mywife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her andsaid, 'Do you want to have Sex?'
'No,' she answered.
I then said, 'Isthat your final answer?'

... She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying,'Yes..'
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone afriend."

And that's when the fight started...

________________________________

I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the madcow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started.....

_____________________________

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her highschool
reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken manswigging his
drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend. I understand he tookto drinking
right after we split up those many years ago, and Ihear he
hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" I said, "Who would think aperson could go on
celebrating that long?"

And then the fight started...

________________________________

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wifekept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.
But, somehow I always had something else to takecare of first, the shed, the boat,
making beer.. Always something more important tome.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make herpoint.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated inthe tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing
scissors. I watched silently for a short time andthen went into
the house. I was gone only a minute, and when Icame out again
I handed her a toothbrush.

I said, "When you finish cutting the
grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I willalways have a limp.

_____________________________

My wife sat down next to me as I was flippingchannels.
She asked, "What's on TV?"
I said, "Dust."

And then the fight started...

________________________________

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed,made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the
boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into atorrential
downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulledback into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather
would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, andslipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back;
now with a different anticipation,
and whispered, "The weather out there isterrible."

My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, canyou believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight started...

_______________________________

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for ourupcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goesfrom 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."

I bought her a bathroom scale.

And then the fight started......

______________________________

After retiring, I went to the Social Securityoffice to apply
for Social Security. The woman behind the counterasked me

for my driver's License to verify my age. I lookedin my pockets

and realized I had left my wallet at home. I toldthe woman that

I was very sorry, but I would have to go home andcome back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silverhair.

She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proofenough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about myexperience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped
your pants. You might have gotten disability too.'

And then the fight started...

________________________________

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroommirror.

She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. Ireally need you
to pay me a compliment.'

I replied, "Your eyesight's damn nearperfect."

And then the fight started........

________________________________

I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of aREALLY bad day!

The driver got out of the other car, and he was aDWARF!!
He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!'
So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'

That's how the fight started.

Hilarious jokes Knotty

[ecat444]

*sigh*

I heard it too wolfie - btw - glad you enjoyed last weeks concert!

[Karl Stiel]

Drive by





off to bed



extremely long busy day

night all

[ecat444]

LOL!!! Nice of them to share each other's beds but nicest outcome for the little dog!!!

[Spartacus]

Goodnight my Q friends. Sweet Dreams !!!

[the H team]

just finished watching The Amazing Race Canada. Hal & Joanne came in 1st this time around. next week, they're off to the Northwest Territories.

Big Congrats on your Stump haul, wester. enjoy Blue Rodeo, they are awesome in concert.

[heartgirl99]

finally!

[kawam]

just finished watching The Amazing Race Canada. Hal & Joanne came in 1st this time around. next week, they're off to the Northwest Territories.

Big Congrats on your Stump haul, wester. enjoy Blue Rodeo, they are awesome in concert.

On that note, I just got this email................

Congratulations! You have been officially selected to participate in The Amazing Race Canada – Interac Flash Challenge with the chance for you and a teammate to win $5,000.00. To confirm your registration and select a timeslot to participate, please click on the link below.

[Lee03]

just something to ponder, this lovely weather seemed to arrive with the return of McSkier. things that make you go hmmmmmmmmmm. then again, Attitash has been no where to be found this summer.

He is probably biking around somewhere - getting his legs ready for ski season.... I hope he comes back to visit soon!!!

[Lee03]

Love it kawam!!!

[Lee03]

Yaaaay. I won Stump the Chump or the lack of it today. Two tickets to Blue Rodeo, $100 for Turtle Jacks and passes to the Q107 Summer Bash. I was first caller to answer what the band Five Easy Pieces had to do with today's prizes. Answer: it was Jim Cuddy's band before Blue Rodeo.
I had the Bison Meatloaf and my wife had Buffalo Chicken Fingers at Turtle Jacks. Both were excellent.

just finished watching The Amazing Race Canada. Hal & Joanne came in 1st this time around. next week, they're off to the Northwest Territories.

Big Congrats on your Stump haul, wester. enjoy Blue Rodeo, they are awesome in concert.

Congratulations wester!!! Nice win!!!

Your wife will "love" Jim Cuddy... H team and I saw them a few months ago and they were amazing... Jim could have sang to "me" all night.... *sigh* (and if she doesn't want to go, PM me.... )

[kawam]

On that note, I just got this email................

Congratulations! You have been officially selected to participate in The Amazing Race Canada – Interac Flash Challenge with the chance for you and a teammate to win $5,000.00. To confirm your registration and select a timeslot to participate, please click on the link below.

It appears that a few of us got this email. Good luck to all!

[heartgirl99]

On that note, I just got this email................

Congratulations! You have been officially selected to participate in The Amazing Race Canada – Interac Flash Challenge with the chance for you and a teammate to win $5,000.00. To confirm your registration and select a timeslot to participate, please click on the link below.

wow! very cool! good luck!

[heartgirl99]

'night qt's