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Fri, Jun 25th, 2010, 01:00 PM #18931
- Join Date
- Apr 2009
- Location
- Amberley Beach, Kincardine
- Posts
- 5,326
- Likes Received
- 1324
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- 0 (0%)
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Fri, Jun 25th, 2010, 01:00 PM #18932
- Join Date
- Nov 2009
- Location
- Valhǫllr - "hall of the slain"
- Age
- 61
- Posts
- 27,725
- Likes Received
- 12380
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- 0 (0%)
yeah, NO!
INTERNATIONAL RULES OF MANHOOD
1. Under no circumstances may 2 men share an umbrella
2. It's OK for a man to cry under the following circumstances:
a) When an heroic dog dies trying to save its master
b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts to unbutton her blouse
c) After wrecking your boss' car
d) 1 hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game"
e) When she's using her teeth
3. Any man who brings a camera to a Bachelor Party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
4. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a buddy out of jail within 12 hours.
5. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.
6. Moaning about the brand of free beer in your buddy's fridge is forbidden. However, complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional.
8. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines the pit stop, not the weakest.
9. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress but never who's playing.
10. You may flatulate in front of a girl only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she’s officially your girlfriend.
11. It's permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach...and a topless model delivers it...and it's free.
12. Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
13. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
14. Friends don't let friends wear Speedo's. Ever. Issue closed.
15. If a man's fly is down, that's his problem. You don't see a thing.
16. Women who claim they "love to watch sports", must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
17. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
18. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or last slice of pizza, just not both. That's just greedy.
19. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
20. Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
21. Phrases that may not be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b) C’mon, give me one more. Harder!
c) Another set and we can hit the showers.
22. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e. Both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
23. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
24. The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have drunken carnal monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail her again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.
25. It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
26. Thou shall not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
27. The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox360, end of story!
28. There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.
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Fri, Jun 25th, 2010, 01:06 PM #18933
- Join Date
- Apr 2009
- Location
- Amberley Beach, Kincardine
- Posts
- 5,326
- Likes Received
- 1324
- Trading Score
- 0 (0%)
Too funny!!!!!!
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Fri, Jun 25th, 2010, 01:09 PM #18934
- Join Date
- Jun 2010
- Location
- No one goes off-trail. No one walks alone.
- Posts
- 20,183
- Likes Received
- 65755
- Trading Score
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I'm confident of my manhood.
I drink umbrella drinks , as long as it
contains at least one sword, as well.
(preferably plastic sword , that is )
(( and it can't be pink ))Last edited by rock lobster; Fri, Jun 25th, 2010 at 01:12 PM.
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Fri, Jun 25th, 2010, 01:16 PM #18935
- Join Date
- Apr 2009
- Location
- Amberley Beach, Kincardine
- Posts
- 5,326
- Likes Received
- 1324
- Trading Score
- 0 (0%)
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Fri, Jun 25th, 2010, 01:28 PM #18936
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
- Location
- 43° 16' 26.9" N 79° 58' 10.5" W
- Posts
- 24,513
- Likes Received
- 4322
- Trading Score
- 3 (100%)
Interested in getting Sirius Satellite Radio
Anyone have a Subscription
Pros & Cons
Thanks in advance for the rep
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Fri, Jun 25th, 2010, 01:31 PM #18937
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
- Location
- Near Toronto
- Posts
- 29,339
- Likes Received
- 68053
- Trading Score
- 4 (100%)
Whether you're a dude or whether you're a dudette,
We can all get together in fours & form ourselves a quartette,
Sing the afternoon away & neglect all other duties,
& those who feel inclined to dance can get up & shake their booties,
We are a group of diverse folks & that can't be disputed,
That's because we say our peace & that needent be refuted,
This thread is the kind of place where we never run out of things to say,
& that includes all of the times when the topic turns risque,
So all you guests should consider joining, cause we a truly quite a troop,
& then you will be welcomed into our quirky little group.
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Fri, Jun 25th, 2010, 01:34 PM #18938
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
- Location
- Near Toronto
- Posts
- 29,339
- Likes Received
- 68053
- Trading Score
- 4 (100%)
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Fri, Jun 25th, 2010, 01:43 PM #18939
- Join Date
- Apr 2009
- Location
- Amberley Beach, Kincardine
- Posts
- 5,326
- Likes Received
- 1324
- Trading Score
- 0 (0%)
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Fri, Jun 25th, 2010, 01:51 PM #18940
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Fri, Jun 25th, 2010, 02:00 PM #18941
- Join Date
- Apr 2009
- Location
- Amberley Beach, Kincardine
- Posts
- 5,326
- Likes Received
- 1324
- Trading Score
- 0 (0%)
Well so much for getting my Grad son to cut the grass for the day off!!!!! So far dragged him outta bed late , gone to play street hockey with the other Grads, now off to the local kids hangout for fries and a milkshake.....My day with the men in my family is just not working out. Gotta regain control.....
This could get ugly...LOL LOL
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Fri, Jun 25th, 2010, 02:10 PM #18942
- Join Date
- Nov 2009
- Location
- Valhǫllr - "hall of the slain"
- Age
- 61
- Posts
- 27,725
- Likes Received
- 12380
- Trading Score
- 0 (0%)
sun is still shining in Pickering.
must be because Loocie and I are here.
the sun always shines on the good ones.
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Fri, Jun 25th, 2010, 02:13 PM #18943
- Join Date
- Jan 2010
- Location
- Scarborough
- Age
- 58
- Posts
- 2,304
- Likes Received
- 0
- Trading Score
- 0 (0%)
Just got back from shoe shopping. Bought some cute sandals for both my daughters but nothing for me.
When I took Reb to Meg's school this morning, M pointed out the guy that's been bothering her and whispered "that's the bully". For a second I was scared, something hit Reb and I thought she would beat the crap out of him and I called her off just as she was approaching. In retrospect, she could have easily taken him (being almost twice his weight and having the element of surprise as an advantage), even though she's a peace and love, hippie girl and I should have let her get at least one good hit in before braking it up.Just because something isn't right for YOU doesn't mean it's wrong.
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Fri, Jun 25th, 2010, 02:13 PM #18944
- Join Date
- Apr 2009
- Location
- Amberley Beach, Kincardine
- Posts
- 5,326
- Likes Received
- 1324
- Trading Score
- 0 (0%)
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Fri, Jun 25th, 2010, 02:18 PM #18945
- Join Date
- Apr 2009
- Location
- Amberley Beach, Kincardine
- Posts
- 5,326
- Likes Received
- 1324
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