How did you know you were ready?

[wimbly11]

So....we've been married for just over two years now. And I'm sure many of you know how it goes, every second person wants to know when you're going to have children!

DH is 110% ready. I wanted to wait until we moved home, but I don't know when/if we will get that chance. Everyone keeps telling me not to put my life on hold because I want to get home. If we were living home, I would be trying now. But because we're not, I'm hesitant.

How did you know it was the right time for you? It's pretty scary no?!?

Also, when you started trying, did you tell your parents, as a heads up. Or was it a total surprise for them?

Honestly, my head is spinning thinking about this! I've been having some medical problems lately, and my doctor told me the other day that even though she thinks what's going on with me is pretty common, that maybe we should start trying..."just in case" as she put it. Way to freak a girl out!

[Natalka]

We knew as soon as we were married!
I was 28 when we were married, and had our son when I was 30 - it took that long, lol!
No charting, nothing like that - just went with whatever came!

And.... no chance of any others to come, so you never know what hand life is going to deal you - we had planned/hoped for a big family.
Variables can come out of the blue, life can change so quickly. So we are blessed to have the child we do!

And no, we didn't tell anyone we were trying; we're very private. It's enough that family members asked/joked once in a while. It didn't happen that often before our son - but was way harder later when people kept asking when we were going to have more...

I say go for it! Love is all you need!

[$stretcher]

It's a very personal question, but if you keep seeing babies whereever you go, and they all look cute to you, and you find yourself wandering in the baby department in Walmart it may be time! Best wishes!!

[wimbly11]

I won't deny it, I'm definitely feeling that pull. I just find it hard because I always wanted to be home when we had kids. That's what's holding me back....

[juniperjune]

MAke sure you are in the best possible situation before you have kids: Relationship, money, home, security. After the kids come, it is so much harder to put money aside and save up for a home. I lived in an apartment when we had our first. Psycho landlord made our lives HELL. Now we are in a house and life is GOOOOOD.
You are NEVER READY. What you think is Parenthood is nothing like the reality of it.

[nadiabreckon]

We have always said we wanted to have children, and once we got married decided that we wanted a baby before we were 30 (we got married at 26 & 27, had DS at 28).

We definitely weren't planning on having a baby at the time we did, I was actually on the pill when I got pregnant and we joke about it to this day....I guess DS was just really intent on coming into this world!

Actually, I went to visit family before I even knew I was pregnant and told them that we had spoke about having kids soon....Little did I know we had already started a family and it was just a matter of time before we even knew it! My dad actually called it, because I didn't even feel like having a drink (and I ALWAYS have a beer with my dad) and he joked that we were probably going to have a baby soon...lol...

Like another member mentioned, you're never really "ready" to become a parent, it kinda just falls upon you and you deal with it...but once you have a baby, it all comes natural. We didn't know what to expect, but we also didn't listen to the horror stories everybody told us...we just went with the flow and took it one day at a time. We also didn't tell our family that we had decided on children. We went to visit my MIL one day at work and told her we wanted to play a game...she was sitting down, and we told her that everybody sitting down in the room was going to be a grandma...

[Sharpie]

I say go for it! If we plan everything in our lives we would never have kids. I have two little ones 16 months apart and I am 28 years old Got married when I was 23 and had my daughter when I was 24

[wimbly11]

We're both 28 now, that's why I think it's time to start. I guess the situation will never be perfect. And hopefully we will get home at some point...but if I wait for that, it could be years before we start trying.

[danielzmom]

what do you mean by "going home"..is it leaving the country? or relocating within canada? if you are living temporarily in your place you should consider that..cos moving while pregnant and during the first months after delivery is not good nor fun!!
good luck either ways!

[danielzmom]

i , on the other hand, encourage you to have your first before 30..cos if you plan to have other kids you will still have time..i had my first at 25 and i'm now 28 and i'm considering having another before 30..

[AryanasMommy]

I don't think I was ready to have DD (I had just turned 20, DH was 26) but I couldn't imagine my life without her.

[Midnightly]

both hubby and i talked about it.. we were married over a year.. i was one who didn't want to get pregnant within the first yr of marriage (even though we'd been together years and were already living together) i didn't want to be one of these couples who got married then had a kid within the first year (but again that's just me!) i wanted to sit back and adjust to "being married" it also gave us a chance to have a honeymoon (didn't have the $$ right after the wedding) once we had that pass we were both ready

we didn't tell our parents (my mom was ready to be a gramma and was dropping the odd comment) i just didn't feel the need to tell my parents that we were planning to have alot of sex (which is what your indirectly doing when you say "we're trying for a kid" ) plus i didn't want that sitting on my shoulders, because honestly you don't know what will happen-you might get pregnant within the first 3 months and everything is great or you might spend the next year and a half struggling trying to get pregnant with no luck (and feeling people's eyes on you wondering) i find it's more something left behind closed doors (no one elses business but your own) and just think of the "surprise!" you can give your parents when you do find out!

[wimbly11]

We're living in NB now. Both from NL. DH is military. We've hoped for years to either get posted home or leave the military and go. However, DH doesn't want to just move without it being the right time, and things have never fallen in place. We're hoping to get posted next year, take the posting, not move into a house, so we'll make some money from our move, and then put in our release after that. But the posting may not come next year, we don't know.

We've been married for two years, we got to do a huge family vacation and our honeymoon, so I think we're ok on that end of things. My mom tells me not to have kids, because the world is too crazy, so I honestly don't know how she'll feel about the whole thing. I know she'll be upset because we're living away when it happens. She has never gotten over the fact that I moved away. So complicated!

[MrsSunshine]

im with those who say.. your never ready.. heck mine are teenagers.. im still not prepared.. as long as your not starving and have a roof over your head. i think you should go for it.

[Midnightly]

i'd say if your financially stable (aka being able to pay your bills with a few bucks left over at the end of the day not struggling to get basics ) and you FEEL ready then go for it..as you say your hoping to get posted back home next year.. but what happens if you get posted in another city, are you still going to wait?

and as for your mom saying the world is too crazy to have kids.. well... the world will always be crazy! there will always be wars (big or small) there will always be bad things in the world (i don't see world peace any time soon) if people wait for "the world to get better" you will be waiting all your life

i'm one of those who lives nowhere near where she grew up.. my mom wishes we would "move back home" so she can see her grandbaby every day but i know i'd never be happy in small town BC.. we work with it though.. weekly webchats (heck when she was first born i hung a webcam from her bassinet) and we go on regular visits to grammas house (about 3x a year we fly up north)