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  1. #1
    Smart Canuck vibrantflame's Avatar
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    Am I the only one who thinks there is a difference between someone genuinely needing help and someone taking advantage because you're family and you "should help"?

    So I won't name names, but a close family member of DH's had to go to the hospital due to ongoing back issues. He's had to go there several times in the past too. The hospital is a 45 minute drive from where this family member and his wife live. Now, just about every time that he goes to the hospital he drives himself there, his wife stays at home because "she doesn't want to have to wait around for hours", and then she makes DH drive her to the hospital after he is done work so she can get the vehicle back! This is not the first time she's asked this, and if DH tries to say no, they get angry with him because they feel that since he is family, he is obligated to help them. And neither one of us would have issue with helping them, but it's the fact that it feels like we are being taken advantage of. There is no reason that she couldn't have just went with him and taken the vehicle back...but it's easier to just call DH and make him drive her in there
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  2. #2
    Smart Canuck nothingfancy's Avatar
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    so, just to clarify....her DH drives himself to the hospital, then your DH is asked to go and pick her up to bring her to the hospital so she can go and get the car?

    that is just absurd.
    nothingfancy

  3. #3
    Smart Canuck vibrantflame's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nothingfancy View Post
    so, just to clarify....her DH drives himself to the hospital, then your DH is asked to go and pick her up to bring her to the hospital so she can go and get the car?

    that is just absurd.
    Yep, that's exactly right.

  4. #4
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    Sometimes you just gotta say no and hang up.

  5. #5
    Canadian Guru Brandy Hunter's Avatar
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    "take a taxi/i'm not a taxi" and hang up.
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  6. #6
    guitar nut darwinsmistake's Avatar
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    omg thats ridiculous truly silly your dh(stillnot clear what that stands for except husband but whats the d?)really has to stand up for himself does she even pay gas?

  7. #7
    I heart DH and DS francine1985's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by darwinsmistake View Post
    omg thats ridiculous truly silly your dh(stillnot clear what that stands for except husband but whats the d?)really has to stand up for himself does she even pay gas?

    Dh is dear husband.



    next time she calls you up like that. get your husband to charge her for gas (to pick her up, get her to the hospital, and get himself home) and his time. if she puts up a stink tell her that she should feel obligated to help you out financially since you are family.
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  8. #8
    Canadian Genius anisa's Avatar
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    yikes, just don't answer the phone.

    easiest way out i think
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  9. #9
    Sith Lady and Cool Kid Darth Penguin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sally888 View Post
    Sometimes you just gotta say no and hang up.

    Exactly. No is a complete sentance. No explanations and no chance for the other party to try and guilt you into helping.

    Short answer NO, long answer NOOOOOOOO.

  10. #10
    Smart Canuck Sherbear609's Avatar
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    It's so hard when it's family issues,

  11. #11
    Sith Lady and Cool Kid Darth Penguin's Avatar
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    oh I agree but there are times when (general) you have to be a tad more selfish and place strict boundaries.

    Otherwise you find yourself driving 3 hours late at night to a city you don't know without GPS to get your SisIL who is refusing to stay any longer at another family members house and then back again ...

    That happened to me when I was 8 months pregnant. Before I got boundaries.Before I put myself and imidiate family first.

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