A few LOLS for you.....

[Natalka]

[Natalka]

[operabob]

”When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car"

“I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.” Author: Elayne Boosler

“Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.” Author: Oscar Wilde

”A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.”

Author: Lana Turner


”How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the ‘F’ word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell ‘BINGO!’”

Author: Anonymous


”Dogs have masters. Cats have staff.”

Author: Anonymous


”I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.”

Author: Emo Philips


”Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.”

Author: Greg King


”The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.”

Author: Al McGuire

[operabob]

”A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.”

Author: Franklin Jones


”If at first you don’t succeed . . . so much for skydiving.”

Author: Henny Youngman


”Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.”

Author: Dave Barry

”If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.”

Author: Earl Wilson


”Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”

Author: Oscar Wilde

[SillyLoocie]

Loocie's secret lasagna recipe?

2 slices of spongey white bread,
2 tablespoons of any commerically prepared tomato sauce
1 measly slice of processed style mozzerella cheese product

Spread the sauce on the bread, add the cheese style product, wrap, heat & consume.

[operabob]

”If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?”

Author: Milton Berle


”I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.”

Author: Anonymous


”Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.”

Author: Marilyn Monroe


”When you go into court, you are putting your fate into the hands of people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.”

Author: Norm Crosby


”When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.”

Author: Anonymous


”It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?”

Author: Ronald Reagan


”To err is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential.”

Author: Anonymous

[operabob]

”I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, ‘Well, that’s not going to happen.’”

Author: Anonymous


”If you do a job too well, you’ll get stuck with it.”

Author: Anonymous


”The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you’re hungry again.”

Author: George Miller


”Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a house.”

Author: Rod Stewart


”Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.”

Author: Ronald Reagan


”My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already.”

Author: Wendy Liebman


”An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her.”

Author: Agatha Christie

[sassypants]

Two foreign nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat and one says to the
other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs."

"Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as
well do as the Americans do."

Nodding emphatically, the Mother Superior points to a hot dog vendor and
they both walk towards the cart.

"Two dogs, please," she says.

The vendor is only too pleased to oblige and he wraps both hot dogs in foil
and hands them over the counter. Excited, the nuns hurry over to a bench
and begin to unwrap their "dogs."

The Mother Superior is first to open hers. She begins to blush and then,
staring at it for a moment, leans over to the other nun and whispers
cautiously, "What part did you get?"

[Zonny]

FYI, I regularly post funnies outside of my cubicle at work. This is one of the first places I look for things to post! You all put some amazing funny stuff up here.

[heartgirl99]

[Natalka]

[Natalka]

[Natalka]

[Natalka]

[walkonby]