i've never been away from my kids either. i feel guilty going to dinner with DH.. and even still i can count on 1 hand how many times in 4 years we've done that.
i feel for you, it's a tough call. we drive to my inlaws farm which is 3 hours away but when you add in potty trips, lunch, etc its more like 4.5 hours. 20 would be h-e-double hockey sticks.
i'm sure family would love to see them however, i'm sure they'd totally understand travelling that distance with kids is not easy/fun.

