I dont want to be like her....

[barginb]

hmm nice that you met up with her. I too would rather walk and not pay parking and use the coupon. Weird about the food. I never wish to see anyone go hungry, would have gave her my left over or odered more....Maybe she is on a tight budget....

[barbs]

lots of people who look down on people for being 'frugal" (or what some consider 'being cheap"), and are living & 'spending" their money freely..........are just actually racking up tons of consumer debt on their credit cards.......just because it's so much fun to go out & spend like there's no tomorrow.......

me.........I'd rather be frugal! (Yes, I'll bring my own coupon to the restaurant; and No, I won't eat off your plate!)

[Darth Penguin]

It would be nice to know the friends take on this, as I'm sure it's not as black and white as the letter writer seems to think.

My mooching friend story. When I was working a group of us girls sometimes went out for a meal..sometimes lunchtimes, sometimes after work,go to a movie, sometimes it was a hen night (stagette??).

There was one lady who was constantly on a diet and therefore didn't drink..so she didn't mind driving..but when she drove it was to one of 3 restaurants she liked and most of us didn't...So we normally ended up in 2 or 3 cars and she was one of the non-drivers.

And as she was on a diet...might have a salad as an app, always had a main course and never ordered a dessert. However..she was always after a taste of your calamari, your mushrooms in garlic butter, your anti-pasta.

And she went for the simplest of entrees...so just a bite of your...can I try your pizza.

But when the desserts came it wasn't just a small sample ..it was several spoonloads...especially if it was chocolate.

It got to the stage where no-one ordered an app or dessert. Her constant mooching under the guise of her diet left a bitter taste in our mouths and eventually, we stopped hanging out together which was sad as initially it was a fun thing to do.

[glowworm2k]

lots of people who look down on people for being 'frugal" (or what some consider 'being cheap"), and are living & 'spending" their money freely..........are just actually racking up tons of consumer debt on their credit cards.......just because it's so much fun to go out & spend like there's no tomorrow.......

me.........I'd rather be frugal! (Yes, I'll bring my own coupon to the restaurant; and No, I won't eat off your plate!)

My feelings exactly. It is all about both attitudes and expectations.

Case in point: I am the person who will come along on the girls' night out, park a block away, just drink club soda all night, only order an entree, and ask for separate bills. I might even suggest a restaurant where I know the food is good but inexpensive. However, I won't ask for a taste of other people's food and I won't expect anyone to be doing me any favours, like paying for my share of anything. The odd time we will treat one another to something (e.g., somebody volunteers to order a big plate of nachos to share, saying that it's "their treat"), but that's pretty unusual and reserved for special occasions. My friends all know that I don't have a lot of money - a lot of them don't have a lot either - and they're still kind and understanding enough to include me in the night out without making me feel bad or like I'm mooching off of them or being a cheapskate.

[BC Gal]

Reminds me of a situation that someone was upset about years ago. Where do you guys weigh in on this: If 3 people go out for dinner (one couple and one single lady that has a gift certificate/free voucher that is hers) and the bill arrives not separated, should the woman put her voucher in and split the balance or should she use the voucher for what she ate and leave it at that? (The couple were very upset that she didn't split the balance.) My opinion is that she should not be obligated to pay for someone else's part when she has hers covered with HER voucher. What do you all think?

She is paying for her food, just with a voucher. Why should the couple benefit from her gift certificate? Of course it would have been best if she just saved the voucher for when she was alone unless that was then only way she could afford to go with them.

Added: just read a response and agree that if the voucher hinges on other meals, then it should be split.

[BC Gal]

It would be nice to know the friends take on this, as I'm sure it's not as black and white as the letter writer seems to think.

My mooching friend story. When I was working a group of us girls sometimes went out for a meal..sometimes lunchtimes, sometimes after work,go to a movie, sometimes it was a hen night (stagette??).

There was one lady who was constantly on a diet and therefore didn't drink..so she didn't mind driving..but when she drove it was to one of 3 restaurants she liked and most of us didn't...So we normally ended up in 2 or 3 cars and she was one of the non-drivers.

And as she was on a diet...might have a salad as an app, always had a main course and never ordered a dessert. However..she was always after a taste of your calamari, your mushrooms in garlic butter, your anti-pasta.

And she went for the simplest of entrees...so just a bite of your...can I try your pizza.

But when the desserts came it wasn't just a small sample ..it was several spoonloads...especially if it was chocolate.

It got to the stage where no-one ordered an app or dessert. Her constant mooching under the guise of her diet left a bitter taste in our mouths and eventually, we stopped hanging out together which was sad as initially it was a fun thing to do.

Why not say something to her rather than end a friendship, or talk behind her back??? Maybe she didn't realize how much it bothered people. She probably would have stopped doing it rather than lose all her friends.

[rachel1496]

Depends. On the parking issue 1 or 2 blocks, sure. 15 blocks away? You're pushing it. My ex was notorious for that, the worst was his work Christmas party. We're dressed up, I'm in heels and it's freezing cold and windy and he parked in a lot 10 minutes away so he didn't have to pay. As for the restaurant bring your coupon and use it all you want. The only time I have an issue with that is when the coupon holder constantly has to be the one to choose the restaurant and the choice is always based on who is offering coupons/specials and not how many people in the party actually like the food there.

[Darth Penguin]

Why not say something to her rather than end a friendship, or talk behind her back??? Maybe she didn't realize how much it bothered people. She probably would have stopped doing it rather than lose all her friends.

Oh..it was mentioned several times and she always denied the scale of the problem, just a small piece ...only a spoonful. There was never any need to talk about it behind her back.

But also at the time we were drifting apart. Some were getting married, others moving on to different jobs, a couple were prenant and not coming back to work and I was moving to Canada. The group just slowly died after that. I still hear from several of them and most of them are FB friends.