Christmas

[Minou]

Hmmm...given the information you've provided, if MIL's gift is to be read as a statement, it would be this:

"Given that my Christmas gifts from my son and daughter-in-law are children's handmade ornaments and photos and calendars of my grandchildren, it appears that my role as grandparent is most important to them -- they're not giving a gift for me to enjoy as an individual adult. Since the grandchildren are most important, I'll focus my spending on the kids, and I'm sure my son and daughter-in-law will appreciate my generosity toward their children. They're staying home for Christmas because it's too hard for them to take small children anywhere, so I'll swing by to see them before going to my brother's(?). Hmm... before I go, why don't I pick up a bottle of wine and a six-pack of beer for them to enjoy?"

For next Christmas, give a photo (no frame), a drawing by each child, and a generous and indulgent gift just for MIL.

[erin9mmm]

... My feeling is also she felt left out when they opened the gifts when she was in the shower. She would have preferred to have known when she was coming so she could have been there to be part of it and enjoy seeing the kids open grandmas gifts.

Aww, now that wasn't nice. I would have been hurt about that too.

[sarah_cio]

I don't think people were attacking you. You asked for others' opinions in your original post and they gave you their opinions. Their opinions may be different from yours, but that doesn't mean they were attacking you.

If you ask for others' opinions in the rant section, you will get a variety of answers. Be willing to read them, consider them, or ignore them.

Yes I guess by asking a rhetorical question in a rant section means that I opened myself up for people telling me to "get over it" and implying I am being greedy/selfish. Since when are some of these comment/answers/feedback as you word it nice/polite and respectful? Sorry but I disagree.

[sarah_cio]

Hmmm...given the information you've provided, if MIL's gift is to be read as a statement, it would be this:

"Given that my Christmas gifts from my son and daughter-in-law are children's handmade ornaments and photos and calendars of my grandchildren, it appears that my role as grandparent is most important to them -- they're not giving a gift for me to enjoy as an individual adult. Since the grandchildren are most important, I'll focus my spending on the kids, and I'm sure my son and daughter-in-law will appreciate my generosity toward their children. They're staying home for Christmas because it's too hard for them to take small children anywhere, so I'll swing by to see them before going to my brother's(?). Hmm... before I go, why don't I pick up a bottle of wine and a six-pack of beer for them to enjoy?"

For next Christmas, give a photo (no frame), a drawing by each child, and a generous and indulgent gift just for MIL.

Sorry but you are wrong on this. She called my DH last night to thank him for the gifts and said that she really liked them and was so happy and thankful and thought they were very thoughtful. So she did like them and thought they were personal.

Again: it was not just a picture in a frame that I got her, we have gotten her consumable gifts in past years (several times). If it is the thought that counts then why are people criticizing my "thought" and criticizing me for pointing out her lack of thought. BTW she told my DH that she purchased the bottle of wine for me because it had a funny name. So it was impersonal and I was correct. Although I think there was no meaning behind it.

[Kelly5]

Hmmm...given the information you've provided, if MIL's gift is to be read as a statement, it would be this:

"Given that my Christmas gifts from my son and daughter-in-law are children's handmade ornaments and photos and calendars of my grandchildren, it appears that my role as grandparent is most important to them -- they're not giving a gift for me to enjoy as an individual adult. Since the grandchildren are most important, I'll focus my spending on the kids, and I'm sure my son and daughter-in-law will appreciate my generosity toward their children. They're staying home for Christmas because it's too hard for them to take small children anywhere, so I'll swing by to see them before going to my brother's(?). Hmm... before I go, why don't I pick up a bottle of wine and a six-pack of beer for them to enjoy?"

For next Christmas, give a photo (no frame), a drawing by each child, and a generous and indulgent gift just for MIL.

I totally agree. People tend to spend more money on gifts for the children because Christmas tends to be associated with bringing joy to children (e.g. Santa brings gifts to the good girls and boys). If you change the dichotomy of the gift giving experience then your MIL will probably respond in kind.

[wolfwoman]

Move on people. Get over it.

[Kalmel]

Oh geez, i gave pictures of the kids to MIL this christmas..lol..better give her a call to see if she goes on smartcanucks..LOL!!!