The Pampered Ladies Package Train

[dlee]

hijinx...I'm sorry that that is happening. I went through more than one period of depression myself and so I can relate a bit to how she is feeling and also how people who love her are feeling. it sucks to not be able to know what to do to make her be herself again. big hug. I hope and pray that in time she will seek the help that she needs. you are such an amazing sister to keep reminding her how much you love her and you are there for her. I know it's hard. but you're doing a great job!

I will say...you need to also take care of yourself and your family. I know it's not easy but try and set some boundaries so that you are staying healthy too for your own sake.

sometimes there is nothing to say or do, but just wait, and that sucks. =(

Uh, I just need to vent.

My sister is 28. And depressed, in my opinion, but she won't consider seeing a counselor, therapist, etc. I've pleaded with her.

She is miserable. She's cut herself off from the world - friends, extended family, coworkers, Facebook even (deactivated her account more than a year ago) - she only talks to my dad who she lives with as her condo is being built. I live 5 minutes away.

Here's the gist - she's lonely. She envisioned herself married and having kids. Neither have happened. And no, she doesn't want kids without a husband. Understandable - it's hard work.

BUT SHE"S ONLY 28!!!! I have friends well into their 40s who have had NO LUCK with men and are single. But she is an emotional wreck. She says she cries everyday. She doesn't eat. She's lost friends. And now she's losing me.

She's cutting me off. She doesn't reply to my texts, emails, phone calls, messages NOTHING. Unless I physically go see her - which isn't always possible - she works, I work evenings, I have a husband and kids and I do volunteer work, too. I'm busy!!

I'm encouraging her to come out with me, meet new people, not to hook up with people, but see professionals like herself who are in the same situation as her.

She has the delusion that she is the only person in the world without a boyfriend/significant other. She thinks herself a loser. And NOTHING I've said or done has her seeing otherwise.

I don't know what to do anymore. Stop "nagging" her? Let her reach out to me? Which NEVER happens. I'm the only one keeping this relationship going and it's starting to have a toll on me, especially with DH's mother's recent diagnosis (dementia/parkinson's) I don't have the time to or energy to just drop everything and go comfort her while she's having a meltdown.

Last time I was there she literally said two words to me and just stared at her bloody iphone playing some stupid game. It was all I could do to throw that damn thing out the window.

I just want my sister back - she used to be fun, full of life and a wonderful aunt to my kids. She's just a shell of person now going through the motions.

[KK7]

Uh, I just need to vent.

My sister is 28. And depressed, in my opinion, but she won't consider seeing a counselor, therapist, etc. I've pleaded with her.

She is miserable. She's cut herself off from the world - friends, extended family, coworkers, Facebook even (deactivated her account more than a year ago) - she only talks to my dad who she lives with as her condo is being built. I live 5 minutes away.

Here's the gist - she's lonely. She envisioned herself married and having kids. Neither have happened. And no, she doesn't want kids without a husband. Understandable - it's hard work.

BUT SHE"S ONLY 28!!!! I have friends well into their 40s who have had NO LUCK with men and are single. But she is an emotional wreck. She says she cries everyday. She doesn't eat. She's lost friends. And now she's losing me.

She's cutting me off. She doesn't reply to my texts, emails, phone calls, messages NOTHING. Unless I physically go see her - which isn't always possible - she works, I work evenings, I have a husband and kids and I do volunteer work, too. I'm busy!!

I'm encouraging her to come out with me, meet new people, not to hook up with people, but see professionals like herself who are in the same situation as her.

She has the delusion that she is the only person in the world without a boyfriend/significant other. She thinks herself a loser. And NOTHING I've said or done has her seeing otherwise.

I don't know what to do anymore. Stop "nagging" her? Let her reach out to me? Which NEVER happens. I'm the only one keeping this relationship going and it's starting to have a toll on me, especially with DH's mother's recent diagnosis (dementia/parkinson's) I don't have the time to or energy to just drop everything and go comfort her while she's having a meltdown.

Last time I was there she literally said two words to me and just stared at her bloody iphone playing some stupid game. It was all I could do to throw that damn thing out the window.

I just want my sister back - she used to be fun, full of life and a wonderful aunt to my kids. She's just a shell of person now going through the motions.

As hard as it may seem, and by no means you have to take my advice, I would tell your sister when she is ready to talk and get help(professionally) that you will be there for her until then tell her that her negative attitude is too much for you and you need space. Nothing you say or do will make her change she has to change for herself. Life sad as it is throws as curves and it is how we handle it that makes us either come through it or not. It is not your responsibility to make her better you need to focus on you and your family. If she chooses to not to get help or change this is NOT your fault. You are a wonderful person and hopefully one day she will snap out of it and realize what she is missing. I have a brother who I have not seen in probably 5 years some days it does get me down but then I tell myself it is his lost. We were very close when we were younger. Just remember hijinx not to let her suck you down.

[Trinimoneysaver]

Good morning lovely ladies!

Hijinx I am in a similar situation with my only brother. Let me just share some of my story with you. I feel very close in an anonymous way to you ladies, so I feel like I can share these intimate details of my life with you here without being judged. No one knows about this except for the people directly involved and the people within my house. But I would like to share with you all.

My bro was the only person who never came to see me when I had my major surgery in November. I was hospitalized for 6 days and he NEVER CAME. My mom makes excuses for him all the time as he still lives at home. My husband and kids resent him for not being there for me. He never visited me in the hospital or at home. He came to my house the day I came home from the hospital because my mom brought him. YES, he drives and has his own car! He's 27.

They live about 8 minutes away - I'm not saying drop in everyday, he could call or text even. Send a simple text to say hi, how are you doing today? How are you feeling today? Or just hey, thinking about you today. He never did. Not once. I mean, someone is home who can't move or barely eat and am I supposed to text you to see how YOU are?

New Year's eve we went by my aunt, I could only sit in the recliner because of my cut. He barely said 2 words to me and was so into my younger cousin and her kids Ijust felt replaced. Oh...he thinks Crystal is his sister or what? It irked me.

I was also very medicated at that time so my emotions were running high and I was in terrible pain. The next day (New Year's Day) I was thinking about it and I told my husband that I was cutting the cord from people that don't want to treat me like I'm worthy of their time or presence. You know, new year, emotions, prescribed narcotics.

Emotions of the scary and serious health ordeal I just went through and me begging people to care. I am always a push over, door mat, forgiving people when they shouldn't be forgiven and always "letting things go" and "being the bigger person". My 22 year old daughter is always telling me that this one or that one doesn't treat me right but yet, I'm going out of my way for them. She gets so mad at me. She's a Taurus and she doesn't take crap from ANYONE. She's respectful - DEFINITELY (hubby and I make sure of that!) but if you look fat in that outfit, she will tell ya! In a nice way of course.

Well, no more being wimpy me. I'm making a change for the new year! You don't wanna keep in touch - then screw you! That was my new motto. Why should I care about you if you don't care about me? Hubby tried to reason with me and he said it was the painkillers (oxycocet) talking and I didn't really mean it. He said I'm not that kind of a person and don't do anything I will regret.

Welllll...when he was asleep I sent my bro a text. A simple text that I could not remember sending at the time, if that makes sense. I sent him - I'm going to delete your number because you don't care to keep in touch. He never replied. Not a word. What did he do? He told mommy. Mommy called me asking me what's up with this text I sent him.

I went through some really dark days with my recovery - depression. Even the day we went to the doctor and got the results that there was/is no cancer - I was depressed! Very weepy. So these drugs do a number on you mentally and emotionally - no doubt about it.

Sorry I'm all over the place with this story...I just want to explain it properly.

So I told mom I didn't remember sending the text (which I didn't) and I said if I did tell him it was an accident. She said he was so upset about it etc. I said well tell him to come over or call me and we will talk about it. I was home. He never came to this very day. I've seen him a couple times since. He will always talk to my kids and hubby. Totally ignores me.

He spoke to my daughter at a dinner and dance we went to a couple weeks ago. He told her how he wants THEM to be as close as they once was. And how he doesn't want what's going on between me and him to damper their relationship. She told him that she was pissed off that he never came to see me and he said he came when he could. (That one day my mom BROUGHT him over). She said that I went through so much and he was never there.

So I'm at a crossroads, I've invited him to lunch twice now and he never responded to me. My daughter said for me to "make the first move". She said she thinks he wants to talk about it but she doesn't think he will call me first. I don't have time for these games. Even my hubby said "go talk to your brother!". Bro was intoxicated at that time so I didn't wanna approach him then.

Sometimes siblings need to figure things out for themselves. Do they want a relationship or don't they? You can't be the one taxing yourself and your family trying to hold it all together. Know what I'm saying? Even with the age difference, we used to all go out and have a great time. Although I do not drink anymore, that is where the bulk of his entertainment is so connecting with him is difficult.

I was thinking to reach out to him this weekend as my mom is out of town and would not be manipulating us or interferring in the situation. My calls to his cell all go to voicemail. So why bother?

I know my situation is a bit different than yours, but we al lhave some sort of dysfunction.

Bottom line - you have done all you can for your sis. She needs to see if she can crawl out of that hole she's in.

[Trinimoneysaver]

My daughter said she wants us to fix this because summer time we will be seeing each other and she doesn't want it to be awkward. I can't be the only one making an effort. Do you agree with me or should I try one last time?

[cowgirlmama04]

Awesome packages ladies...... we are all some spoiled pampered ladies.

To those of you dealing with interesting family matters, all I can say is this. No matter the situation, you must look after yourselves first. If you aren't healthy and in a good place, you are not going to be able to help another.

I have dealt with depression on a couple of different fronts, my own and family memebers. You can't save them, you can't change them, so don't try you will only drag yourself down. What you can and do need to do, is let them know that you are there for them and that you will support them when they are ready for a change, and if you fear for their safety, call in the professionals ( don't hesitate, you could be to late)

There is only one thing in life that you will have a chance of controlling, and that is you and your reactions.
We pretend to be Super Woman, but we really aren't and need to know our own limitations.

I feel for you all, and hope that you can find some peace and healing in each of the situations that you are dealing with.

[NickiB]

OMG!!! I just had a visit at work from Mrs Sunshine & her Hubby! I have a box filled with goodies beside my desk, and I can't wait to dig into them. Jenn asked if I wanted to put them in my car, and I said, "Are you crazy.. no way can I have them sit out there all day, I will try and peek a bit throughout my day" Will make the day be a little brighter, since I'll be stuck inside on such a lovely day.

Don't know what's inside yet Jenn, but a great big THANK YOU!!!!! You definitely brightened my day!

[NickiB]

I'm peeking, I'm peeking.. the temptation is just too great!

I just found an awesome handmade denim tote bag, with a bright pink scarf, and sunshine bling! I havent' got any farther than that in the box, and I had to come brag! Mrs. Sunshine it's awesome, did you make this???

I'm supposed to be working, but I'm trying to delicately sneak into my box when there are no clients in the office.

[Armygirl76]

Heading to my moms to drop off my pugs , Tummy with his neck pillow lol

[shawshank]

Wish I was outside and not at work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[MrsSunshine]

what a fantastic Saturday morning we had, (as Nicki noted above) we had just a 'taste' of whats to come this summer. I'm so looking forward to it. unfortunately our fun didn't last long, once we were back home we realized our oldest is a bit more sick that we thought. I guess as he's not small anymore and an adult i didn't think he'd need continuous monitoring, but when we got home my husband asked how long he'd been sick. i said well on and off yesterday. This morning he was up at 630 and starting again. so now were worried. he hasnt' kept anything down in nearly 12 hours. i gave him two gravel around 330 and he's out like a light again, but anything we give him, wee bit of water or small piece of toast. starts all over again. how long do we wait. my husband is ready to take him into ER tonite for dehydration. im not sure if thats necessary. everything i remember as a mom has gone out the window its been so long. any thoughts?

[shmeelady]

Can i get the opinion of some ladies here? Lol.

Once again years ago i got a bunch of vintagey fabrics from my great grandmothers sewing room. They sold the house when she got sick and moved into an apt with a care home on mainfloor so my greatpapa could be close to her. Anyways i have had this fabric for about 6yrs now and i really did live it but am not sure what to make with it!!!

Also yea im aware its not a fabric everyone would like. Lol.





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[KK7]

shemeldy what about a pillow

[KK7]

sunshine I would say 48 hours but again not 100% sure lol

[NickiB]

Oh Jenn, what a horrible thing to come home to, I hope DS will be better soon. No advice on that front from me, the only mothering I get to do is when the BF is sick, and other than gingerale, crackers, Neocitran and blankies.. he doesn't get much.

I just got home and took some pics of my awesome box, I can't believe how full you packed that sucker! You absolutely spoiled me!







And here's what I got..

All contained in a fabulous black and tan suede bin I can re-use...


Awesome handmade denim bag with pink scarf bling
Two types of burlap for my crafts
Oven liner to catch spills (I hate cleaning the oven!)
Dish scrunge (for the BF who will scrub by hand)
Cutting board
Spray pump for my olive oil
Shower curtain liner I use behind my fabric one (ie. can throw out every 2 months!)
Dove nourishing oil shampoo & conditioner pack (my absolute fave, my hair thanks you!)
St Ives Apricot foaming face wash (my freckles say thanks!)
Hotel style bath mat (you would laugh, my BF actually wanted to bring one home from SFO)
White and tan face cloths (always handy)
Voltaren (for my pain in the neck..)
3 packs of canning jar lids (just in time, opened my last box and only have 3 left!)
Disposable coffee cups with lids so I can try and bypass Timmies in the morning, lol.
Brass upholstery tacks for my projects
Fuzzy turquoise ankle socks.. look comfy!
Black waterproof mascara.. sooo needed this, thought I had an extra, but nope!
Eos summer fruit lip balm....yummy!
Balea hair mask
3 samples of perfume, Obsession, CK One & Eternity (I'm always too chicken to ask!)
The neatest ever change purse, shaped like a zebra print mini purse. This is AWESOME!
Summery print napkins
2 Clif Bars (I'm hiding these as soon as I finish posting..)
Chips Ahoy cookies.. a huge bag! (I'm sure the BF can polish them off in two sittings)
3 Neon Glue Markers
A Nicki size bag of M&M peanuts
4 Rolo eggs (2 may or may not have tried to escape on the way home...)
Watermelon? Tic Tacs... have sampled a few while unpacking..
Pack of club house pulled pork seasoning for the BF's favourite sammies.
2 Cans of Kitty food for Gracie
3 packs of assorted size envies.. very useful, I'm almost out!
4 packs of labels and letter stickies
An incredible "Mr. Sun" a la Mexico for my Kitchen. Love this, the finish matches some pottery I have!
A intricate lace fan that I will use in my dressing room. Tres Chic! (or should I say, it screams "Boudoir" to me!)
A cute little wrought iron mirror Mrs. Sunshine found yard sailing on her way to drop off my package. Love it!


All this with a beautiful little card with a pink dressing room on the front. Definitely Me!
(Oh, and about 2 pounds of tissue paper everything was wrapped in! I will re-use whatever I can tear away from Gracie!)


Thank You SOOOO Much Jenn, everything was perfect! I feel truly spoiled, and think you went above and beyond what I was ever expecting. It was nice seeing you again, hope you and Hubby can enjoy the rest of the weekend, and that DS is on the road to recovery!

[NickiB]

Also...shamelessly promoting my Desperately Seeking Summer #2... have lots of leftover prizes for a package, if anyone is interested.

http://forum.smartcanucks.ca/350856-...a/#post5410437