Family fed my baby junk food!!!

Thanks walkonby! I tried to tell them as nicely as possible about the baby food. The oldies had their turn with their kids, and the younger ones can decide for their own future babies. I don't know why they couldn't have asked. We brought food that our baby ate, and we breastfeed so he could nurse any time. If they wanted to feed him something after then we could have looked for a banana or some fruit we could have mashed. From now on I will impose a no feeding rule, and I will not let anyone take him out of my sight.

I told my husband that I don't want his family babysitting my son. Who knows what they'll do to him and feed him when I'm not around. :shrug:

You're right, it's a sacrifice we choose to make for our kids. It might not always be convenient or popular with others but we decide what's best for our children.

Yup...choose your own battles..

I found I was more protective with Penguinette 1, less so with P2 and much more open when it came to lilP..

That doesn't mean either I was wrong nor does it mean that (general) you are wrong with our differing approaches to child-rearing..
Parenting styles change and as long as no-one b!atches about it, you're good. And if they do...you are better off limiting their chances of being around you and your family.

Thanks Darth Penguin! I find that I worry a lot and I am protective... Even doctors go, first child? Yup, it's that obvious haha. And I can imagine you with your little penguins, too cute.

I know that junk food won't kill my baby (unless he chokes on it, which is a different story...) It doesn't mean that it's wrong, maybe that it's just not right for my baby. And I totally agree with you, there isn't really a right or wrong parenting style. It's just what works best for our kids and families :cheesygrin:

Even without tolerance or allergy issues, THAT IS DISRESPECTFUL! If you, THE PARENT, said "No French fries" (which would be completely reasonable -- even the salt on something like that could be BONKERS for that baby) or "no ____" then NONE OF WHAT WAS FORBIDDEN.

I would have been LIVID.

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Originally Posted by goldenkagi

We just came home from a family get together, and this really annoys me!! My husband's cousin (who is a nurse, mind you) find him candy. Then, husband's dad fed our baby french fries. I mean really, a nine month old? My husband and I don't eat super healthy, but our boy is just a baby and I want him to have a good start and eat healthier food. Is it too difficult to quickly ask me or my husband like hey, can baby eat this? What if they feed him something and he's allergic or intolerant or something? :rant: I don't know, am I weird for thinking and feeling this way?

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This reminded me of a funny story, my son was small and he came home from a friends house and he said, "why don't you make food like the other moms", I asked him what he meant, he said, his friends mom's make pogo's, fruit roll ups, hot dogs..I just laughed!! I was fortunate to stay home so since they were babies I made their baby food, and home cooked meals!! I made brownies from scratch with baby prunes, no sugar and no icing...until they went to a friends house and had the real thing..butter, sugar, cream cheese icing..I think that was the day I lost them hahaha!! We do the best we can, do what you think is right, and have no regrets!!

It's your baby and it's up to you what you want your baby to eat. You have every right to be upset.

As a parent with a child that has Celiac disease. You do not feed someone else's baby/child without a parent's permission. E.V.E.R.

I am much more relaxed with my third than I was with my first. DH gave my 8 month old some cake and a finger dip of ginger ale this Easter weekend. I told him she may be our third, but doing that was unnecessary sugar and disrespectful to me (because he knew how I would feel). I am trying to give him more feeding opportunities where he can make choices for what to feed the baby (he knows what baby can and can't eat!) Moms often rule the roost. I have to let dad help and the pick your battles is wise advise. If he gave my 5 yo a sip of ginger ale I wouldn't have said anything...he knows she is not allowed, but she is 5 not a baby.

Thanks bullet tooth, Savvylady, greeny and Granger.

Two weekends ago, we went to my in-laws' house for dinner. I cut up some strawberries for baby to eat, and my husband let his parents feed him. His mother then comes and asks if we have a bottle or sippy cup, and we said no water for the baby. I find out later that they give him water anyway. I try to limit baby's water because we're breastfeeding, but they gave him water because "he looked thirsty." Strawberries are really juicy and they're about 90% water. :rolleyes: UGH.

Last Friday, I nursed the baby and fed him before we went to DH's aunt's home for dinner. When my MIL was holding baby, an SIL tried to give him a drink from a cup. I had to yell like a mad woman from across the room to stop them. My DH said it was water but I don't know... Double UGH.

I'm trying to be nice and let them enjoy the baby too. But my patience is really wearing thin :bawling: Maybe I should be the psycho mom who goes "Please don't feed the baby!" every time someone holds him? :shock:

If you worry about allergies, you should actually expose your baby to more diverse diets and environment at an early age. Besides, people are rarely allergic to junk food, that's why they're popular. It is usually natural unprocessed ingredients that is the problem - nature is always trying to kill us.

I came from an upper-class Chinese family that were crazy about protecting kids. The thing is all of us turned out a bit weird. I have lots of allergies because I was not allow to eat certain things, or get dirty in mud. (I have terrible dust allergy from growing up too clean). A few of my cousins have terrible teeth because they weren't allow to eat junk at all. So they trade for candies at school by letting people copy their homework, giving away their books or nice stationary, or even let kids "do stuff" to them just to get candies. (stuff like like people throw a basketball at their heads to get candies.) They hid the candies and eat it when they are in bed. Long story short, he was a cocaine addict by 17.

So relax. If you control too much, it will backfire.

I agree it is impolite that they fed him without your permission. But don't worry too much, you should have a tolerance for a few percentage of "junk". (Don't you remember that weird kid in school that only eats home-cooked food and best friend is his mom?) As long as he is eating mostly fresh vegetables and whole foods, there is room for fries in a balanced diet. (The Coursera nutrition course from Vanderbilt University is a great one to learn more about healthy diets.) On the other hand, "natural" isn't always good for babies. Things like honey or soft cheeses are very risky for under 1 year old. They are more harmful than junk food.

I recommend reading "Bringing up bebe", about the relaxing attitude with French parenting. And how they grow up to be adults who eat healthy balanced diet.

Funny that I have a similar story. My friends fed my baby one piece of french fry (fries? one fry?) when she was 9 months old when we were visiting the zoo. I'm not too worry, my friend is an ER nurse and has 2 kids of his own. I should be lucky if mine are as tall and healthy as his. It was so funny that my baby was working on that fry (5cm long) for an hour. We were glad she was quiet so we can talk. When I got home, I found that fry (4cm left) in her diaper! She didn't like it and just smuggled it in there!!! lol And she continued to dispose of things she doesn't like in her diaper! :D

She's almost 5 now, maybe she flushes her peas, I need to check.

I think I'm more annoyed when people "lie" to my children, for things like Santa. In our house, Santa is fictional, like Batman. Old Chinese people like to tell kids if they don't behave, the police would throw them in jail. So annoyed... how can I teach them to trust adults if you constantly lie to them?

^^^
You bring up some great points. My 8 month old has already been exposed to wheat, eggs, peanut butter multiple times. Regular peanut butter isn't the most healthy but exposure is better than an allergy if it helps...okay and I love to share PB on a banana with her.

In the time between my second and third a lot of the food guidelines have changed. No more delay foods, expose. The Canada guide even seems more relaxed about mixing foods earlier. Just honey to wait on like you mentioned.

I do still think, if a child cannot clearly communicate for themselves what they can and can't have, mom and dad rule. Grandparents, now that is another story, they are the reason my children love McDonalds. I NEVER got to go there as a child. ;)

Hey! You brought up something so interesting to me, and I hope you are willing to (just briefly :) ) elaborate on it.

Could feeding a baby water (or what's the word for "feeding" a plain liquid?) interfere with breastfeeding but filling up his belly, making him not hungry for his noms with nutrients? Or, as I suspect, am I missing a key element here -- I haven't got more than passing interest in children, apart from doting on the infant-sized ones for being cute lil milk balls with yum-yum cheeks, so I have no basis of knowledge here. I would really appreciate more info! It sure beats heading into the Wild West style information organization system of Google results after searching a wildly off-base string of words in hopes of somehow being blessed with enlightenment :)

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Originally Posted by goldenkagi

Thanks bullet tooth, Savvylady, greeny and Granger.

Two weekends ago, we went to my in-laws' house for dinner. I cut up some strawberries for baby to eat, and my husband let his parents feed him. His mother then comes and asks if we have a bottle or sippy cup, and we said no water for the baby. I find out later that they give him water anyway. I try to limit baby's water because we're breastfeeding, but they gave him water because "he looked thirsty." Strawberries are really juicy and they're about 90% water. :rolleyes: UGH.

Last Friday, I nursed the baby and fed him before we went to DH's aunt's home for dinner. When my MIL was holding baby, an SIL tried to give him a drink from a cup. I had to yell like a mad woman from across the room to stop them. My DH said it was water but I don't know... Double UGH.

I'm trying to be nice and let them enjoy the baby too. But my patience is really wearing thin :bawling: Maybe I should be the psycho mom who goes "Please don't feed the baby!" every time someone holds him? :shock:

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Originally Posted by goldenkagi

Thanks bullet tooth, Savvylady, greeny and Granger.

Two weekends ago, we went to my in-laws' house for dinner. I cut up some strawberries for baby to eat, and my husband let his parents feed him. His mother then comes and asks if we have a bottle or sippy cup, and we said no water for the baby. I find out later that they give him water anyway. I try to limit baby's water because we're breastfeeding, but they gave him water because "he looked thirsty." Strawberries are really juicy and they're about 90% water. :rolleyes: UGH.

Last Friday, I nursed the baby and fed him before we went to DH's aunt's home for dinner. When my MIL was holding baby, an SIL tried to give him a drink from a cup. I had to yell like a mad woman from across the room to stop them. My DH said it was water but I don't know... Double UGH.

I'm trying to be nice and let them enjoy the baby too. But my patience is really wearing thin :bawling: Maybe I should be the psycho mom who goes "Please don't feed the baby!" every time someone holds him? :shock:

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Thanks for the different perspective, EvilTofu. I, too, am from a Chinese family who sheltered me when I was growing up. But same as Granger, we're exposing our son to different food. He's had also had wheat and peanuts, he eats eggs and tofu regularly, and has also tried shrimp, lobster, king crab, mussels, scallops... He eats what we eat most of the time, unless it's heavily processed. I kept a food log when we tried out food before so in case he had a reaction or if he was unwell, I could look back and it would, perhaps, be easier to pinpoint the cause.

My husband I both like junk food, so it's not like we're health nuts or anything. We love chocolate, ice cream, cake, potato crisps, pop, you name it... Our son has had tiny tiny tastes but I'd like to avoid larger servings until he's at least one. He'll have a smashcake on his birthday party, and he can have some junk too, just not too much.

I guess being a first time mom has me too paranoid, and it really bothers me that they just feed him without asking me or my husband.

Granger, like you, honey's the only absolute no-no.

(What if they fed him honey, my in-laws don't know the guidelines! When my baby was just a few weeks old, they told me to put him to sleep face down. I was like, uhm no, SIDS?? Good thing there was a med student present who mirrored my horror, lol.)

bullet tooth, you're right! Too much water fills the baby's little tummy up, and if he's full he'll nurse less or even skip a feeding. Water's good in moderation once they start solids to prevent constipation, so I like to know and control how much he drinks. I'd like to breastfeed for as long as baby and I are both willing and able to, so things like that that interfere with our nursing irks me.

onto child two. the sooner you get them eat solid food and varieties the better off you will be later on. baby food is just that mush and loaded with preservatives. variety is the key.

if you want a sussy fussy toddler and child limit what they eat as a baby. you will have a lifetime of nugget and fries dinners. (and veggies in the trash)

Oh dear lord people overstress about things. Unless your child has an actual allergy who cares if a relative gave him a french fry? I swear, helicopter parents will be raising a genertion of emotionally and socially crippled kids. Jeez.

My mother had a friend with a daughter my age when I was about four to six years old. The girl was never allowed sugar. Her birthday cakes were made without sugar, and the other kids couldn't eat them. One day, at four, just before Kindergarten, she was over to play (our mothers were in the kitchen talking). I had a box of After Eight chocolates in the cupboard that formed part of one dresser in the room. I was allowed to have candy in my room because my parents knew that I never did eat any of it without asking. The girl, who had previously been playing and carrying on a normal 4-year-old conversation with 4-year-old me, spotted the box of chocolates and just kind of went wild, stripping off the wrappers and stuffing the chocolates into her mouth. It was like she was in a trance, tossing wrappers and stuffing in the chocolates. I let out a yell to summon my mother because I was so terrified by her behaviour. My mother came in and talked softly to her and gently took the box away. The girl let go, but sat there on the floor of my room for a few minutes in a trance, chocolate all over her mouth.

I'm okay with my kids having some treats, but I sure wasn't okay with my older son's first daycare provider ALLOWING him to sit in front of a basket of Hot Wheels at 10 months old with a Hot Wheels car in each hand, chewing on the wheels. The daycare provider was right there watching it. He wasn't walking, or even crawling much at the time, so it shouldn't have been hard to keep him from something dangerous!