So Friends. . . where do I go from here? . .
I'm not big on talking about myself, so this is hard. My Mom is (or appears to be) in some sort of stage of dementia. She seems to be heading downhill faster than I can keep up with. She started losing her memory a few years ago, but I thought," Big deal, she's 82." Fast forward and she's 84. This past year has been one episode after another. There was one time in the summer when she went on a mini trip with a friend. She woke up the 2nd morning in, and said she didn't know why she was there, did not even believe her friend that she agreed to come! (not aggressively though)
This week, she "forgot" how to get into the underground parking (after 12 years) then parked her car in what she thought was a visitors parking but was just some random tenant parking spot..
Now my mom is an absolute doll and everyone loves her. (picture your typical sweet little old lady) So that is a blessing. She has an old friend that moved in with her after my dad died and (double bonus) she used to be a PSW.
But today. . . . she forgot she had grandchildren. (my brothers') That felt like a punch in the gut. When you forget your grandkids, that's a whole new level. I have had her to a geriatric specialist twice, but all he gave her was a pill for her memory which apparently takes months to work. That's all fine and good, but I think we have a bigger problem than just memory obviously. ( i have a call into him)
This seems like it's sudden but in reality it's just me not accepting the signs in front of my face. My mother and I have been extremely close and while it's true, she's gotten old and depends on me, I just didn't face the gradual increase of dementia like I should have.
So Now? I have to assess how fast this will progress, I have to get power of attorney, and I have to figure out what/where she will go in the future. I absolutely adore my mom and I would take her into my home without hesitation, but my sister-in-law pointed out that she's happy where she is now and if she had to leave there, it would likely only be into a home because she would no longer be able to be independent of 24 hour supervision.
Sounds good in theory, but I think my heart would break if I put her in a home. Seriously. My business is a good one, but I still have to work hard at bringing in the business and I can't do both that and take care of her, so I feel screwed.
But I didn't write all this to complain because I know you guys have far worse stuff going on and you're superstars. :) I just thought I'd throw this out there because maybe others have gone through this and have suggestions or ideas that have worked for you and your elderly relatives?
I know alzheimers and dementia are different. I'm pretty sure mom has dementia. She's also exhibited paranoia (which is not her at all)
Thoughts and personal experiences would be appreciated. . . MQ