GAHHH...such stress

[mesta]

So I realize that I haven't been around much - started school in January and its been chaotic to say the least.
They first had me on a schedule for morning classes - 8:30 am to 12 noon - which was fine, I got used to getting up early and going about my day - HOWEVER - just when you get used to that - what do they do? Switch you to classes that go from 1 to 5pm. My whole damn day is gone now. My mornings are spent getting ready and doing things for the kids and my evenings are spent doing homework - I have no life as of right now.
I know it's going to pay off in the end - lmao i even went and signed myself up for a payroll course after my Business Management diploma is finished - but we shall see what becomes of that.
My kids love the fact that they get to spend a great amount of time with their dad - being all boys daddy time is really special - but I can tell they miss their mom. It sucks because I miss them like crazy too - almost three years of nothing but kids and you're telling me that this isn't a system shock? Honey, your not telling the truth then.
I'm sure we've all been there at some point - where doing something that is for us is genuinely very difficult to do. I have a problem with it because now, my almost three year old listens better to other people than he does to me - when he used to listen great. and I feel guilty thinking that it's because I'm not around enough for him to care what I have to say or some other crazyness. I know that's all it is -kids go in stages and this just happens to be one of his, but still - difficulties have been coming up ever since I started.


I am doing great though - just have to take a minute to be slightly proud of myself - I've kept my grades up and currently hold a 94% average overall in the courses that I have completed and in an accelerated program, apparently that's very good. If I can keep it up, I graduate with honors - which would, in essence, throw back the things that people said to me in their faces. I've been told for years now, that because I was a teenage mother on welfare that I would never make something of myself and be stuck in the system forever - WELL! IN YOUR FACES. That's all I have to say about that because it's the only half way nice and decent thing that I can say.


But back to the other things - I feel that I am slacking in the parenting and partnership part of things. My boyfriend seems to feel unloved at times because I'm always so busy trying to do other things for school - fundraising, homework, tutoring - you name it and I'm doing it. And it's great to have my sense of self back - but I don't know that if, at the end of the day, it is really going to be worth what little pay off I have in the end.


Sorry for the rant, but it needed to be said. And I felt like you guys could best help me figure out what to do about everything - advice and such because everyone here has had to have had some type of issue where they felt they were doing the wrong thing but in their mind for the right reasons.

[sharkie]

everyone needs to rant at times....just remember things are hectic right now but they will get better.....keep your chin up and the best of luck with everything...

[bluzsuz]

that's why this thread is awesome - even if no one reads it - you are getting the satisfaction of a rant/vent out and not taking it out on someone that might take it the wrong way (someone you may have to live with lol) So rant away, I have been where you are now and it is worht it, it is hard but it will be worth it. Hang in there!

[mesta]

thank you kind words do help a lot

[Ami1984]

Part of your rant should be in the brag section, 94% average is AMAZING! Just wanted to say that Congratulations for going back to school, it has to be one of the toughest things anyone can do

[glamorousgirl]

I can't imagine how anyone can go back to school when they have kids, I only have one and he keeps me busy enough. So I think the fact that you have made this commitment is amazing. A friend of mine with an 8 year old and 11 year old went back to school full-time. Her life was Homework, if it wasn't hers it was the kids. Leaving at 6am for school and going to bed a midnight, probably something similar to what you do. Last year she graduated top of her class, and this year she is working full-time at her dream job. It will be worth it in the end.

[JasmineMcdonald]

AND ON THE NEW TONIGHT,
There is a Mother who has been working her butt off to get amazing grades 94% average!! For all those little nasty people who said that just because she became a Mom earlier than they did, that said she would never get anywhere in life. IN YUH FACES! (and a whole lot more) :D )

You have our support hon, if you need anything... PLEASE LET US KNOW! Even if you just need to PM us that you havn't had time to sit down for the last 14 hours!

[torontogal12]

Chin up hon. For my masters degree my in class time was 30 hrs per week. Not to mention all the time ewasted on lame assignments the profs didn't even read (I busted one prof once on this). I could not imagine doing that with a family and keeping nearly perfect grades. You are truly amazing