Club Q Q107-Loyalty Club (Southern ON Only) v4

[Lee03]

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the
1930s '40s, '50s, '60s and '70s !!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright- colored, lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors, or cabinets, and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention the risks we took hitchhiking.

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.

Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle, and NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter, and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because
WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day. And we were okay.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes! After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video-tape movies, no surround sound, no cellphones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms..........WE HAD FRIENDS, and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth, and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls, and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!

Little League had tryouts, and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

This generation has produced some of the best risk takers, problem solvers, and inventors ever!

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned
HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!

And YOU are one of them! CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives for our "own" good.
And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!

[heartgirl99]

awww, wings and beer how i miss thee

ATTACH]156563[/ATTACH]

Come on down! . Plenty of room at the bar.

[Lee03]

The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself.

As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need... a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long."

Joe laughed, "That's right. How did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!" the tailor said. Joe tried on the suit, it fit perfectly.

As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck."

Joe was surprised, "That's right. How did you know? "Been in the business 60 years!" the tailor said. Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly.

Joe walked comfortably around the shop, and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a moment and said, "Sure."

The salesman said, "Let's see... size 36."

Joe laughed, "Ah ha! I got you! I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old."

The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."

New suit - $400
New shirt - $36
New underwear - $6
Second Opinion – PRICELESS

[Lee03]

It has been scientifically proven that if we drink 1 litre of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli bacteria found in faeces, in other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of Doo Doo.

However, we do not run that risk when drinking wine (or rum, whiskey, beer or other liquors) because alcohol has to go through a distillation process of boiling, filtering and fermenting.

WATER = Doo Doo

WINE = HEALTH

Free yourself of Doo Doo, drink WINE!!!

It is better to drink wine and talk Doo Doo than to drink water and be full of sh*t.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information, I am doing it as a public service.

Have a nice day.

[Lee03]

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies:

1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans, the British or Canadians.

2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans, the British or Canadians.

3. Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans, the British or Canadians.

4. Italians drink large amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans, the British or Canadians.

5. Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans, the British or Canadians.

6. Ukrainians drink a lot of vodka, eat a lot of perogies, cabbage rolls and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans, the British or Canadians.

CONCLUSION:

Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you!

[Lee03]

Can you tell I'm cleaning out my hotmail account?? Over 800 deleted already!!

[Lee03]

Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night. The waiter came and took their drink order.
"I would like a Sprite," said the first little piggy.
"I would like a Coke," said the second little piggy.
"I'll have a beer -- a big one." said the third little piggy.

The drinks were brought out and the waiter took their orders for dinner.
"I want a nice big steak," said the first piggy.
"I would like the salad plate," said the second piggy.
"I'll have another beer, a tall one," said the third little piggy.

The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would like any dessert.
"I want a banana split," said the first piggy.
"I want a root beer float," said the second piggy.
"I'll go for another tall one," said the third little piggy.
"Pardon me for asking," said the waiter to the third little piggy, "but why have you only ordered beer all evening?"

You're gonna LOVE me for this....

The third piggy says -

"Well, somebody has to go 'Wee, wee, wee, all the way home!"

[Lee03]

One winter morning in North Dakota, a couple was listening to the radio while eating breakfast. They heard the announcer say; "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through."

The wife went out and moved her car.

A week later while they were again eating breakfast, the radio announcer said; "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through."

The wife went out and moved her car again.

The next week they were again having breakfast, when the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park..."

Then the electric power went off. The wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "Honey, I don't know what to do.

Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplows can get through?"

With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, the husband said, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time.

[Lee03]

There are currently 16 users browsing this thread. (1 members and 15 guests)

• Lee03

At least I'm keeping our guests entertained!!!

[Lee03]

Teen age sex: The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex.
Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family's status, she consulted the family doctor.
The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.
Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the woman told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.
The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother saying:
"Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!"
Church:
A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the preacher's hand. He said "Preacher, I'll tell you, that was a damned fine sermon. Damned good!"
The preacher said, "Thank you sir, but I'd rather you didn't use profanity."
The man said, "I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five thousand dollars in the offering plate!"
The preacher said, "No Sh*t?"
Pancakes:
Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor.
With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.
After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, "Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem."
The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table.
"Gee, Mom," he exclaimed. "For me?"
"Just take two," Brenda replied. "The rest are for your father."

[Lee03]

Buddies Bud and Jim were a couple of Newfie drinking buddies who worked as airplane mechanics in Gander, NFLD. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do. Bud said, "Man, I wish we had something to drink!" Jim says "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz."You wanna try it?" So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hooch and got completely smashed. The next morning Bud wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing! Then his cell phone rings. It's Jim.

Jim says, "Hey, how do you feel this morning?"

Bud says, "I feel great. How about you?"

Jim says, "I feel great, too. You don't have hangover?"

Bud says, "No, that jet fuel is great stuff no hangover, nothing. We oughtto do this more often."

Jim says, "Yeah, well there's just one thing... Have you farted yet?"

"No....."

"Well, DON'T. I'm in Thunder Bay!"

[Lee03]

This is way neat... give it a try...

This is one of the many tricks to speed reading.


They teach you to look at the frsit & lsat letetr of a
word and your brain will fill in the rest. Pretty cool..

If you can read this, you have a strange mind too

Can you raed tihs? Olny 68 plepoe can.



i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht
I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in what oerdr
the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the
frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset
can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is
bcuseae the human mind deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the
wrod as a wlohe.


Azanmig huh?


yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

[crazyredneck]

This is way neat... give it a try...

This is one of the many tricks to speed reading.


They teach you to look at the frsit & lsat letetr of a
word and your brain will fill in the rest. Pretty cool..

If you can read this, you have a strange mind too

Can you raed tihs? Olny 68 plepoe can.



i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht
I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in what oerdr
the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the
frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset
can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is
bcuseae the human mind deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the
wrod as a wlohe.


Azanmig huh?


yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

it works better too if your a speed reader.

[22hicks]

Well, I fell asleep for most of the evening. Hope I can get back to sleep. Night all

[Lee03]

a tiring week.... night, night all...