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Letterman - Top Ten Things Governor Schwarzenegger Hears In A Typical Day
10. "When are you going to drop the phony accent?"
9. "Read the Education Budget and then you can have some Strudel."
8. "Why does this place always smell like Baby Oil?"
7. "Are you driving the Hummer to the Earth Day rally?"
6. "Letterman on the phone again -- should I tell him you're still in a meeting?"
5. "The Governor will answer a few questions then show off his abs and delts."
4. "Relax, Governor -- I wasn't sent from the future to kill you."
3. "When shaking hands with assembly members, stop squeezing once you hear a crack."
2. "You gave up a $25 million salary to do this?!"
1. "Governor, please put the desk down."
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I'm laughing so hard at all these jokes.. ha ha! :) Here's another one..
A woman returns home, runs into her house, slams the door & shouts, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!"
The husband says, "Wow that's great! Should I pack for the ocean or the mountains?"
As she heads for the phone she says, "I dooooon't care. Just get the *#?#@^% out!"
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The top 10 reasons why the elves secretly hate Santa
10-Jealous of his ability to grow facial hair
9-Mrs. Claus only has eyes for him
8-Black leather boots are so much cooler then pointy toed, jinglt shoes
7-He's tall enough to ride every ride at the amusment park
6-Every time they walk down Santa claus lane, they're reminded there's no road named after them
5-letters that come to Santa every day? 500,000. Letters to the elves?0.
4-He always seems to know when they are being naughty
3-Responds to all requests for raises with "Ho! Ho! Ho!"
2-The sleigh is parked 364 days a year, but do you think he offers to let them use it once and a while?
And the Number 1 reason elves secretly hate santa...
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COOKIE ENVY!
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