Husband ignores his health problems

[MakaylaGreen]

This is driving me insane! the doctors believe my husband has something called Marfan Syndrome which for him means he has to go every year and get his heart looked at.However my husbands been dragging his feet on it this year doesnt seem to want to go in and get it looked at.He says everything is fine and not to worry...

I didnt know about his heart issues well i knew but i never knew it was something that needed be looked every year that maybe one day will require surgery.He needs to go get a new health card as he moved to Ontario for awhile and got a Ontario health card but now that we moved to Manitoba he needs to go get a new manitoba health card so he can book a appointment.

He is calm and i am stressing out!

[Natalka]

Gah.... men! Often, they are 'feeling' fine, so think they don't need to get things checked out. I have a husband in a similar situation - and what works best for me to get him into the doc is to try get him to see it from OUR point of view, not just his. WE (wife and child) need him to be healthy and get things checked out.
For example, my husband is on a medication long-term - but sometimes won't take the right dosage at the right times because he 'feels' okay - but he just needs a reminder that it's because he's on the medication that he feels good, it's helping him avoid more serious problems, and he must take it as directed.

Your husband needs to see that going for checkups is preventative, and helps the doctor establish baselines on his condition.
I just did some reading about the syndrome, and sure enough - it's very necessary because the earlier something is caught, then it can be dealt with before it becomes life-threatening.

[hollyquaiscer]

Getting our dh's to the Dr at anytime can be a stressful event. My dh had a very serious accident 4 years ago, he had broken his pelvis in 5 places. He refused to go to the hospital to get checked out. He laid on the sofa for 15 hours while I tried to convince hime to go to the hospital...he couldn't sit or walk. Men!!!!!!!

Anyways, I finally did as Nat said, made him see OUR side of it, but also, I got out the laptop and showed him how he could be bleeding internally and could bleed to death....he went!

Marfrans is not to be fooled with, it can have deadly consequences at some point if not monitered by a Dr. He needs to go! Find a really good website about Marfrans, one with pic's and good laymans terms, show it to him. He will get the hint.

[KrazE]

My best friend in high school died at the age of 17 from Marfans; his heart could no longer carry on and he went pretty quickly without warning.

If your husband wants to drag his feet about seeing the doctor, I suggest having a talk with him about making sure his will is up to date (or get one done if you are without!) and about wishes he may have regarding burial.

While that may seem extreme, he has a severe medical condition that must be regularly monitored; by not doing so, he is putting himself and his family at risk for losing him early, and possibly without warning.

[Lynn49]

I totally agree with everything that's been said so far....if he doesn't care about his family, tell him that at least his selfishness should pay the bills, and make sure his will and insurance is up to date. You'd hate to lose him, and you'll cry, but you'll remember that the decision to not care for himself was his decision only!
It's tough love, but maybe it'll work.
Find out how things work around the house...ask him about the bills...when to pay them...etc...he might get ticked, but better ticked than...well...you know.....Good luck, Hon!

[icangarden]

Hubby should be going for his checkups....also you are probably aware of this but will post so others are...there is a hereditary factor for this disease and children should be checked if mother or father have been diagnosed. Good luck to you.

[MortgageQueen]

Recruit a friend or collegue that he respects (male). Men often will do this type of thing if a "manly man" friend says he should. It's a weird kind of peer group, male acceptance thing. . .

[frugal50]

that's why women live an average of 10 years longer than men

while they are dropping like flies

nothing you can do

except a little tough love might help