Points And Prizes - Sheknows

[thetick]

good day everyone!

[newsnakeowner1978]

good day everyone!

good day tick. hope all is good.

My DD's B-day today. She is nine. sigh. Big party in a hr. 15 screamin girls. But the dear hubby that I am.................I'M FOOKIN LEAVING
FOOK DAT. Daddy don't do b-day parties anymore. Only adult partys. grin.

get yer mind outta da gutter NS, u 2 Rose.

[newsnakeowner1978]

OMG this is a good one. hahahahahaha


The Vanilla Pudding Robbery

Excerpted from an article which appeared in 'The Dublin Times' about a bank robbery on March 2, 2009.

'Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the security system got underway immediately. The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash &valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes throughout the bank.

The robbers cracked the first safe's combination, and inside they found only a small bowl of vanilla pudding.

As recorded on the bank's audio/ visual tape security system, one robber said, 'At least we'll have a bit to eat.'

The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all safes were opened.

They did not find one pound sterling, a diamond, or an ounce of gold. Instead, all the safes contained covered littlebowls of pudding.

Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach. The newspaper headline read:

'IRELAND'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING'....

i'm still laffin me ass off. hahaha

[newsnakeowner1978]

ok. heres another. its a oldie but hilarious.

hippie gets on a bus and spies a pretty young nun. He sits down next to her, and asks her:


"Can we have sex?"



"No," she replies, "I'm married to God."



She stands up, and gets off at the next stop.



The bus driver, who overheard, turns to the hippie and says:



"I can tell you how to get to have sex with her."



"Yeah?" says the hippie.



"Yeah!" says the bus driver.



"She goes to the cemetery every Tuesday night at midnight to pray, so all you have to do is dress up in a robe with a hood, put some of that
luminous powder stuff in your beard, and pop up in the cemetery claiming to be God."



The hippie decides to give it a go, and arrives in the cemetery dressed as suggested on the next Tuesday night.



"I am God," he declares to the nun, keeping the hood low about his face.



"Have sex with me."



The nun agrees without question, but begs him to restrict himself to anal sex, as she is desperate not to lose her virginity.



'God' agrees, and promptly has his wicked way with her.



As he finishes, he jumps up and throws back his hood with a flourish.



"Ha-ha," he cries. "I'm the hippie!"



"Ha-ha," cries the nun. "I'm the bus driver!"

[Racefan]

good day tick. hope all is good.

My DD's B-day today. She is nine. sigh. Big party in a hr. 15 screamin girls. But the dear hubby that I am.................I'M FOOKIN LEAVING
FOOK DAT.

You're going to leave your wife with 15 screaming girls?

I loved those jokes.

[NSangel]

I shall from now on be referred to as....


awesome one!

RTLADY HAS SPOKEN!

Thank you awesome one... my Nabob lives on

no need to bow, no really..no need.

sacrifice? i donno..wot u have in mind? the snake??

UM SURE!

[kaela]

only "unawesome people" get visits from the bunny.
kaela has spoken

you may be awesome but we are fabulous.

[thetick]

only "unawesome people" get visits from the bunny.
kaela has spoken

you may be awesome but we are fabulous.

I hear that the Easter gorilla visits awesome ones lol

[Shebby]

only "unawesome people" get visits from the bunny.
kaela has spoken

you may be awesome but we are fabulous.

...........

[haunish]

Ok Rtlady if your losing weight with that soup i wan tthe recipe.lol..who's was it Amy's ..would I be able to get it ?

Newsnake if my dh left me with 15 screaming girls..I would kill him..lol..leave me with that forget it..lol

Hope your dd has a good birthday

[kaela]

ok i thought about it the bad bunny can come

[Grey]

thanks for all the new words.

haven't been on here a couple of days, cousins came to visit and i had to cook.

[newsnakeowner1978]

You're going to leave your wife with 15 screaming girls?

I loved those jokes.

lol of course i did. i don't do screemin kids. lol but she had help. my mom and mudder in law was there to help. lol

I shall from now on be referred to as....


awesome one!

RTLADY HAS SPOKEN!




no need to bow, no really..no need.

sacrifice? i donno..wot u have in mind? the snake??

UM SURE!

uuuuuuuuuuu awesome one. hahahahahahahahaha sure sure sure. hahahahahaha

Newsnake if my dh left me with 15 screaming girls..I would kill him..lol..leave me with that forget it..lol

Hope your dd has a good birthday

she would rather me leave then be there complaining about all the kids gettin on me nerves. thats why i made me mudder and mudder in law go.

[haunish]

newsnake I couldnt even handle the mothers there..lol

[newsnakeowner1978]

newsnake I couldnt even handle the mothers there..lol

ME EITHER. especially the mudder in law. lol another reason why i left.