Home Alone

[dawnikus]

I have been reading up on when is the best age to be leaving your children home alone. In the state of Washington the law states you can leave your child home alone at age 10 and onward. In Manitoba it is 12.

Finding daycare around here is so hard - most daycares only allow children up to 6yrs old and if you don't live within a certain catchment of the daycare you cant take your child anyway.

My daughter is 9.5yrs old. For the first time we left her home alone the other night on a trial basis. We were gone only 45 minutes but it seemed like I was gone for hours. She wasn't fazed by me going out at all nor was my husband, but I sure as hell was.

I am hoping some of the parents out there with children that are much older can give me some advice as to how to move forward with all of this. All the daycares around us are full, he works and I will be at school full time. She would be getting off school at 3:30pm everyday at the same time I would be getting off school. It takes me about 30mins to drive home and in total she would be at home for about 1 hour by herself. My neighbor said she would make sure my daughter made it home ok as her little girl would be riding the bus with her. I got everything covered except for my nerves!! I find myself to be very overprotective and am looking to find some comfort from others that were in my position at one point in time or another.

Suggestions?

[momg]

is there no after school program at her school? i have a 9 and a half year old and i wouldn't leave her home alone to go to the store. there are just too many things that can go wrong and she is so young. have you looked at a private sitter? what happens on school cancellations and inservice days? i think you should try looking for people in your area that would be able to look after her a teen perhaps or a stay at home mom that is willing to take kids in. put an add in the local paper and make sure you get real references.

[Julie Andrews]

Would you be able to make arrangements with your neighbour that your daughter stay with them until you get home?

[roseofblack25]

I wasnt allowed to stay home alone until I was 16!

[koala]

It's hard to let go of those apron strings. Your neighbour watching over
her is a good thing. Set up good ground rules. Can she not stay with neighbour for the hour needed?
Maybe leave a task for her to do when she comes home. Just some ideas. Not to make you feel bad, but almost 10 is still a little young, but I think this can be worked out with your neighbour.
On another note, my daughter is 21 and I still worry when we go out. What if the toilet overflows, can she deal with it. Just an example. A mother's imagination is hard to control. You are being a mom, and no matter what, you are going to create "what-if" situations constantly. Sorry, there is no real advise for that. You are being a mother!!

[michelle30]

My daughter is 14 and i just started leaving her alone recently for a couple hours here and there.But my son is 9 and i will not leave him with at home with her yet.She needs to show me she can handle that first.

[bug]

Wow, a lot of protective parents here. I think almost 10 is old enough to be left alone. Especially once in awhile. Just tell her not to answer the telephone or the door. She'll only be alone for a little while. Perhaps almost 10 is a bit too young to be left alone every day though. The easiest solution would be to ask your neighbor for help since it seems you already trust her.

[dawnikus]

Sitters here are just as hard to come by. I have been through a bunch of sitters already and it isn't that they aren't qualified it is that they will only work on their terms. Such as they want use of the family vehicle - well maybe in their cartoon world that will happen however we have one car and that is to get my husband to and from work. It is bad enough that he works 3 cities over from where we are. He has tried the carpooling thing here but on the weeks when it isn't his turn to drive he is late for work and that isn't a good scene at all. Not only that but they want just as much an hour as my husband makes, it might seem ok for some of you out there but we have bills and what not to pay and it is not very realistic in our world.

The neighbor has offered to check in on her while she is home alone but unfortunately my daughter + her 5 kids = nervous break down for her, so her staying at their house just isn't a viable solution right now or in the near future.

I have been self sufficient since I was a kid. My mom left me home alone while she went out. I was about the same age as my daughter but I knew people I could go to if there was trouble. There are so many what-if's that if I continue thinking about them I will just stress myself out and that is just a bad scene in its self.

I will look at the local teens in the area and see what they might have to offer. I also like the idea of having a task for her to do when she gets home. Right now the only thing she does is loads the dishwasher of plates and silverware (not sharp knives). She loves to vacuum as well so I could always have her doing chores when she gets home or her homework.

[twogirlsmom]

Growing up, my brothers are 4 and 6 years older than me so when i was still in Elementary school they were in Jr. High and high school so I came home by myself afterschool for about 45 minutes until they got there, very much similar to your situation I had a neighbour across the road who watched out for me until my brothers came home, the few times I did feel nervous I would go to the neighbours and wait for my brothers, so I think if you have a neighbour who is willing to watch out for her like that then it should be OK for less than an hour, but I would check your provinical laws and make sure you are not breaking any laws doing this, because if anything ever did happen and she phoned the police you could be in trouble for leaving her alone. Good Luck and I hope you find a solution that will work for both you and your daughter.

[mdutka]

i think that 10 is too young but it doesnt seem like you have much choice either. if i try to put myself in your shoes i think that i would rather my kid be alone for an hour than staying with a neighbour, at least he/she isnt going to get molested when they are home alone. but it is a good idea at least that she can go if she feels scared or something happens. there is only about 3 people in this whole world that i will ever leave my kid alone with.
i would look at the pros and cons of all your options and like 2girlsmom says make sure you arent gonna break any laws.

[Tansy]

I'm with Mdutka on this one. I just moved here a year ago and don't know anybody well enough, or what I would consider well enough. Mine are 13 and 10 and they stay on their own until I get home from work sometimes.