User Tag List
Results 42,826 to 42,840 of 45330
-
Mon, Mar 15th, 2010, 08:02 AM #42826
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
- Location
- Near Toronto
- Posts
- 29,339
- Likes Received
- 68053
- Trading Score
- 4 (100%)
Good Morning Kids it is Monday once again.
Wishing you all a terrific day today!
-
-
Mon, Mar 15th, 2010, 08:07 AM #42827
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
- Location
- 43° 16' 26.9" N 79° 58' 10.5" W
- Posts
- 24,513
- Likes Received
- 4322
- Trading Score
- 3 (100%)
Morning all, sure is dark still
-
Mon, Mar 15th, 2010, 08:10 AM #42828
- Join Date
- Nov 2009
- Location
- Valhǫllr - "hall of the slain"
- Age
- 61
- Posts
- 27,725
- Likes Received
- 12380
- Trading Score
- 0 (0%)
Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train.
His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp.
"What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.
" Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.
" That little , O'Conner," says Sean, "He couldn't do that to you, he must have had something in his hand."
" That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it."
" Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself, didn't you have something in your hand?"
" That I did," said Paddy.
"Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."
*************************************** *************************************** **************
An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and,
of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road.
A cop pulls him over.
" So," says the cop to the driver, where have ya been?"
"Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk.
" Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening."
" I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.
"D id you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest,
that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"
"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk.
"For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."
************************************************** ************************************************** *******
Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.
"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya".
" Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?"
" That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda." There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."
"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me."
" I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry."
Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?"
" It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat Of Guinness Stout and drowned."
"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me the truth, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?"
"Well, Brenda... no. In fact, he got out three times to pee."
************************************************** ************************************************** ********
Mary Clancy goes up to Father O' Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.
He says, " So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"
She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news . My husband passed away last night."
The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"
S he says, "That he did, Father."
The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary? "
She says, He said, 'Please Mary, put down that damn gun...'
************************************************** ************************************************** *****
AND THE BEST FOR LAST
A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.
The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk continues to sit there.
Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall ..
The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either!"
-
Mon, Mar 15th, 2010, 08:18 AM #42829
Good morning all! Thanks for the overnight codes and words. No $10k again today.....
T minus 4 days and counting....gone south on Thursday! Clubs are packed and clean, bag is loaded with fresh ammo, packing my shorts, shirts, sunscreen, etc. today.
Reps where I can.
-
Mon, Mar 15th, 2010, 08:20 AM #42830
- Join Date
- Nov 2009
- Location
- Valhǫllr - "hall of the slain"
- Age
- 61
- Posts
- 27,725
- Likes Received
- 12380
- Trading Score
- 0 (0%)
He was getting old and paunchy
And his hair was falling fast,
And he sat around the Legion,
Telling stories of the past.
Of a war that he once fought in
And the deeds that he had done,
In his exploits with his buddies;
They were heroes, every one.
And 'tho sometimes to his neighbors
His tales became a joke,
All his buddies listened quietly
For they knew where of he spoke.
But we'll hear his tales no longer,
For ol' Bob has passed away,
And the world's a little poorer
For a Soldier died today.
He won't be mourned by many,
Just his children and his wife.
For he lived an ordinary,
Very quiet sort of life.
He held a job and raised a family,
Going quietly on his way;
And the world won't note his passing,
'Tho a Soldier died today.
When politicians leave this earth,
Their bodies lie in state,
While thousands note their passing,
And proclaim that they were great.
Papers tell of their life stories
From the time that they were young
But the passing of a Soldier
Goes unnoticed, and unsung.
Is the greatest contribution
To the welfare of our land,
Some jerk who breaks his promise
And cons his fellow man?
Or the ordinary fellow
Who in times of war and strife,
Goes off to serve his country
And offers up his life?
The politician's stipend
And the style in which he lives,
Are often disproportionate,
To the service that he gives.
While the ordinary Soldier,
Who offered up his all,
Is paid off with a medal
And perhaps a pension, small.
It's so easy to forget them,
For it is so many times
That our Bobs and Jims and Johnnys,
Went to battle, but we know,
It is not the politicians
With their compromise and ploys,
Who won for us the freedom
That our country now enjoys.
Should you find yourself in danger,
With your enemies at hand,
Would you really want some cop-out,
With his ever waffling stand?
Or would you want a Soldier--
His home, his country, his kin,
Just a common Soldier,
Who would fight until the end.
He was just a common Soldier,
And his ranks are growing thin,
But his presence should remind us
We may need his like again.
For when countries are in conflict,
We find the Soldier's part
Is to clean up all the troubles
That the politicians start.
If we cannot do him honor
While he's here to hear the praise,
Then at least let's give him homage
At the ending of his days.
Perhaps just a simple headline
In the paper that might say:
"OUR COUNTRY IS IN MOURNING,
A SOLDIER DIED TODAY."
A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life,
wrote a blank check made payable to 'Canada, UK or
The United States' for an amount "up to and including my life."
That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.
-
Mon, Mar 15th, 2010, 08:21 AM #42831
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Location
- Orangeville
- Age
- 56
- Posts
- 3,798
- Likes Received
- 7184
- Trading Score
- 0 (0%)
Good morning all. Hope everyone has a great one.
-
Mon, Mar 15th, 2010, 08:23 AM #42832
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
- Location
- Niagara
- Posts
- 3,063
- Likes Received
- 2322
- Trading Score
- 0 (0%)
8:20 winning word is break
-
Mon, Mar 15th, 2010, 08:23 AM #42833
- Join Date
- Jan 2010
- Location
- Scarborough
- Age
- 58
- Posts
- 2,304
- Likes Received
- 0
- Trading Score
- 0 (0%)
Good morning everyone. Thanks for the codes and reps.
8:20am ww = breakJust because something isn't right for YOU doesn't mean it's wrong.
-
Mon, Mar 15th, 2010, 08:24 AM #42834
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Location
- Cobourg
- Age
- 69
- Posts
- 2,832
- Likes Received
- 30
- Trading Score
- 0 (0%)
8:20 word is break
Last edited by Stewy; Mon, Mar 15th, 2010 at 08:25 AM. Reason: spelling
Have A Nice Day...Stewy
-
Mon, Mar 15th, 2010, 08:27 AM #42835
- Join Date
- Jan 2010
- Location
- Scarborough
- Age
- 58
- Posts
- 2,304
- Likes Received
- 0
- Trading Score
- 0 (0%)
beware the Ides of March....
Just because something isn't right for YOU doesn't mean it's wrong.
-
Mon, Mar 15th, 2010, 08:27 AM #42836
Thanks for the 8:20 all. Now, if only this wet weather would take a break!
One by one, the yard gnomes steal my sanity.
-
Mon, Mar 15th, 2010, 08:29 AM #42837
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
- Location
- Guelph
- Age
- 62
- Posts
- 1,348
- Likes Received
- 56
- Trading Score
- 0 (0%)
-
Mon, Mar 15th, 2010, 08:32 AM #42838
- Join Date
- Jan 2010
- Location
- North York
- Posts
- 15,557
- Likes Received
- 75373
- Trading Score
- 0 (0%)
-
Mon, Mar 15th, 2010, 08:33 AM #42839
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
- Location
- Near Toronto
- Posts
- 29,339
- Likes Received
- 68053
- Trading Score
- 4 (100%)
Is that the winter for another year?
Can we really put away our winter gear?
Do you think sunny days do lie ahead?
Have you ever dated a guy named Fred?
Are you really sure that “X” really marks the spot?
Do you ever ride upon the train of thought?
Do you ever feel that you are on a mission?
Do you have a plan to see it through to fruition?
Do you like the sound of a paddle against a canoe?
Do you have a list of things that you need to do?
Will you please accept my wishes for an enjoyable day?
Do you know that sometimes I do have a lot to say?
-
Mon, Mar 15th, 2010, 08:38 AM #42840
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
- Location
- Brampton
- Age
- 56
- Posts
- 3,134
- Likes Received
- 0
- Trading Score
- 0 (0%)
Sure is...
A man comes home early from work while his wife was having an affair up in her room. She hears him come in the house, so she hides her lover in the closet. The guy hears a voice.
"Sure is dark in here." says womans son.
"Yes, it is" says the guy
"This sure is a nice baseball" the kid says
"Uh, sure kid" the guy says
"I'll sell it to you for 50 bucks" the kid says
"You're crazy!" the man replies
"My dad is right outside" the kid says
"Okay, i'll buy it"
A few days later, the same thing happens. The husband comes home. The wife throws her lover into the closet.
"Sure is dark in here" the kid says
"Yes, it is" says the guy
"This sure is a nice baseball glove i've got here" the kid says
"How much?" the guy asks
"$100" says the kid
"Deal!"
That weekend. The father tells his son to grab his glove so they could play catch. The kid tells his dad that he sold the glove and the ball for $150. The father is disappointed with his son for ripping someone off so he takes the kid to church and brings him into the confessional.
The kid goes in, closes the door and says "Sure is dark in here"
"Don't start that sh*t in here!!!" says the priest.What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
They both look good until they hit the ice.
Thread Information
Users Browsing this Thread
There are currently 17 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 17 guests)