ADHD/Bi-Polar/ODD... I'm at the end of my rope :(

[sheetsofemptycanvas]

DS is 7 years old and suffers from severe ADHD/ODD and I strongly feel that he suffers from bi-polar as well, although he hasn't been diagnosed with that. He's tried so many different meds... concerta, aderall, biphentin, vyvanse, risperidone, ritalin... that all start out working wonderfully but after a month or two the effects just seem to wear off and all he has left are the horrible side effects. We've tried combinations of meds and that hasn't worked either. We've worked with a behavioral therapist who finally gave up and said there was nothing else she could do for us. His pediatrician has mentioned soon dropping us as a client because she is out of options. We've been waiting for a consultation from the children's hospital in Ottawa for over a year now.

I just don't know what to do. He has a younger brother and I fear that he will do something to really hurt him. At 7, he can already overpower me and he's a skinny little thing. his violent outbursts have gotten worse and more frequent. I hate to say it but I don't feel like I have any relationship left with him at all I'm losing my little boy and nobody will do a damn thing to help me. There has to be something we can do...

I can't be the only one so if you have any suggestions I would love to hear them.

[Jezebel]

AWW MY heart goes out to you ! although I don't have any answers I totally am wishing for you and sending you big {{hugs}}

[sheetsofemptycanvas]

AWW MY heart goes out to you ! although I don't have any answers I totally am wishing for you and sending you big {{hugs}}

Thank you! I hate to whine and cry on here but... well, I know I have somebody to listen here on SC

[nadiabreckon]

Aww sweetie, sending big hugs your way!!!

I'm also quite surprised your pediatrician even mentioned dropping you as a client, that's a little odd since even though there is not much more he can do, he is still, after all, a pediatrician and you have a child...I don't know, maybe it's just me...

Anyhow, I can't say I know how you feel, but know that we are all here for you!

[sheetsofemptycanvas]

Aww sweetie, sending big hugs your way!!!

I'm also quite surprised your pediatrician even mentioned dropping you as a client, that's a little odd since even though there is not much more he can do, he is still, after all, a pediatrician and you have a child...I don't know, maybe it's just me...

Anyhow, I can't say I know how you feel, but know that we are all here for you!

Thanks... I just didn't know where else to get all this out

His ped. specializes in ADHD but she only works 3 days a week... she usually sees patients until they are stabilized on medication and then you go back to your family Dr. I just think she's out of options for him... which just pisses me off. There has to be something we can do and someone we can go to for help. The world just seems to be giving up on him and it's not at all fair

[JadeAngel]

I honestly know how you feel. Sending you big HUGS!

[Insane]

Have you tried contacting the children's hospital in Ottawa (CHEO). Make sure they a)got the referral and b) find out where you are on the list. Tell them your concerns, that you are desperate. They might move him up the list. Sounds like going to a major center that has more experience dealing with these things is a better option for you.

How is the school handling him? Have you talked to social services about respite care? Have you looked into support groups?

Hang in there. Being a parent is tough and being a parent of a special needs child is way way tougher.

[MrsSunshine]

has your sons' dr. considered referring him to a Pysch. my sons' Pysch is truly amazing. been dealing with ADHD/ADD LD, for about 10+ years now.. you need any info, advice whatever regarding your son, his meds, his dr., his school. just ask me.

my youngest has been on it all. and back again
i noticed you didn't mention.. Seroquel or Strattera.. has he been on any of those.?
my son has truly been on so many different meds, different doses, strenghts etc. its mind boggling. some days are wonderful.. others are just peachy.. now were well into our teen years.. yay ADD/ADHD and puberty .. o so not fun.

[Natalka]

I only have experience with this through teaching, not from experience with my own child.

Number One - he is a good child, and you are a good parent!
Don't ever put blame on yourself, he simply has medical conditions which need to be looked after...

Your son should be seeing a child psychiatrist, and a therapist. That's the level of help he should be having, not just a pediatrician (no matter what specialty).
Depending upon the severity, there is also the option of an inpatient program, where he can be constantly monitored, meds can be sorted out, etc.

For parents, it's mostly a matter of getting help to adopt a better behavioural approach to deal with things more effectively, such as goalsetting and reinforcing positive behaviours. Finding a specialized parenting class for this would be very important, so you can learn to understand what your son is going through, and how to do certain techniques.

I wish you good luck in finding the resources you need.

Give him a huge hug and lots of kisses!

[Litesandsirens911]

Have you had him tested for food dye allergies? It sounds stupid, but color in foods such as red, purple and blue dyes, many found in kids foods/snacks...can produce the SAME effects/behaviour in a child as ADHD/BIPOLAR etc...I know this , because we went through this with our own son when he was 7...he was always angry, moody, in a fighting mood...and we had him tested, becuase I for one don't believe in medicating a child unnecessarily...Doctors these days are quick to label children with ADHD and write them a prescription...when all the while, it is something else causing the behaviour.
We no longer give him anything with those dye's in it if we can help it, and that even includes juice and even children's cough medicine, which is usually purple or red, etc...
We were truly amazed that just by doing that, he did not need medication, as this "cured" him...I was thankful I did not believe he had ADHD...

PLease ask your pediatrician or go to an allergist or somewhere and at least get him tested for that...
Good luck.
ps: here is some information from the internet:
http://www.associatedcontent.com/art...iscovered.html
http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Truth-...oms&id=1802162

[Natalka]

I agree with Lites - totally!

One thing I wondered after I submitted my above answer, was when and how were the diagnoses made for your son?
For ADHD especially, I would want WAY more than a 'checklist' of things that a doc has gone through, I think I'd want a brain scan...

I like some of the ideas Dr. Frank Lawlis has (via Dr. Phil)
http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/150/

[NancyM]

AWWW sheets my heart goes out to you i have no suggestions or advice i just don't know enough about it i'm sorry but the others advice sounds good

I offer you BIG HUGS and i hope you can find some proper help soon

and don't worry about ranting here we are here for you

[sheetsofemptycanvas]

Have you tried contacting the children's hospital in Ottawa (CHEO). Make sure they a)got the referral and b) find out where you are on the list. Tell them your concerns, that you are desperate. They might move him up the list. Sounds like going to a major center that has more experience dealing with these things is a better option for you.

How is the school handling him? Have you talked to social services about respite care? Have you looked into support groups?

Hang in there. Being a parent is tough and being a parent of a special needs child is way way tougher.

I'm going to call CHEO Monday morning. I am desperate at this point. The school just wants to suspend him, they haven't offered him any other help than that

I'm looking into support groups, it's just hard because I don't drive and have to rely on others to drive me.

has your sons' dr. considered referring him to a Pysch. my sons' Pysch is truly amazing. been dealing with ADHD/ADD LD, for about 10+ years now.. you need any info, advice whatever regarding your son, his meds, his dr., his school. just ask me.

my youngest has been on it all. and back again
i noticed you didn't mention.. Seroquel or Strattera.. has he been on any of those.?
my son has truly been on so many different meds, different doses, strenghts etc. its mind boggling. some days are wonderful.. others are just peachy.. now were well into our teen years.. yay ADD/ADHD and puberty .. o so not fun.

Strattera is the next one we're considering. I like that it's a non-stimulant but it seems to have the same side effects as all the others. It's the aggression that he has the most trouble with. I'm surprised the Dr. hasn't referred him to a pysch.

I only have experience with this through teaching, not from experience with my own child.

Number One - he is a good child, and you are a good parent!
Don't ever put blame on yourself, he simply has medical conditions which need to be looked after...

Your son should be seeing a child psychiatrist, and a therapist. That's the level of help he should be having, not just a pediatrician (no matter what specialty).
Depending upon the severity, there is also the option of an inpatient program, where he can be constantly monitored, meds can be sorted out, etc.

For parents, it's mostly a matter of getting help to adopt a better behavioural approach to deal with things more effectively, such as goalsetting and reinforcing positive behaviours. Finding a specialized parenting class for this would be very important, so you can learn to understand what your son is going through, and how to do certain techniques.

I wish you good luck in finding the resources you need.

Give him a huge hug and lots of kisses!

Thanks Nat. I think an inpatient program might be the best option for him right now

Have you had him tested for food dye allergies? It sounds stupid, but color in foods such as red, purple and blue dyes, many found in kids foods/snacks...can produce the SAME effects/behaviour in a child as ADHD/BIPOLAR etc...I know this , because we went through this with our own son when he was 7...he was always angry, moody, in a fighting mood...and we had him tested, becuase I for one don't believe in medicating a child unnecessarily...Doctors these days are quick to label children with ADHD and write them a prescription...when all the while, it is something else causing the behaviour.
We no longer give him anything with those dye's in it if we can help it, and that even includes juice and even children's cough medicine, which is usually purple or red, etc...
We were truly amazed that just by doing that, he did not need medication, as this "cured" him...I was thankful I did not believe he had ADHD...

PLease ask your pediatrician or go to an allergist or somewhere and at least get him tested for that...
Good luck.
ps: here is some information from the internet:
http://www.associatedcontent.com/art...iscovered.html
http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Truth-...oms&id=1802162

Thanks for the information. That's something we haven't yet tried.

AWWW sheets my heart goes out to you i have no suggestions or advice i just don't know enough about it i'm sorry but the others advice sounds good

I offer you BIG HUGS and i hope you can find some proper help soon

and don't worry about ranting here we are here for you

Thanks Nancy. I just feel like a horrible failure as a Mother

[NancyM]

your not a failure sheets don't you ever say that again

this is something that you can't control sheets i just wish i had some advice to give you but i don't know anything about it all i can offer is my ear and support and my shoulder if you ever need it i'm always here

[KK7]

ok have a couple thoughts not sure of all is symptoms but have you ever seen this show on TLC just a thought
http://health.discovery.com/videos/p...nys-world.html
and for another things not sure how recent it is but he could be acting out in anger from the seperation for you and your ex. There is alot of kids that lash out and get very angry, then you add special needs to it it is hard for them to focus and tell you what is on his mind. You have to think in his world as a child with special needs maybe the only thing his mind is stuck on is that his daddy is not living with him and others will pay for this. Special needs children are very one minded on things and if it is something that is hurting them it makes it ten times harder.