Small vent *not coupon related*

[moefox]

Any other mothers get jyped yesterday? This is the first year we've decided to celebrate holidays (we grew up super religious & didnt celebrate) And I got a kiss and a "you're a great mommy". I appreciate that...but still. Didn't help with the kids, in fact he did less then he usually does, he went paintballing as his birthday present to himself. He accidently took the car keys, leaving me stranded with the kids (we did go for a bike ride)
I ended up giving him a foot rub, he was complaining like crazy because he was wearing cleats all day, and I put the kids to bed by myself. No help with ANYTHING all day.
I'm starting to rethink celebrating the holidays, I seem to put so much thought and effort into things for him and get little to nothing back.
And honestly the only reason I was expecting anything is because he kept bringing it up! He said he was racking his brain trying to figure out something nice and said he thought about dumpster diving for me! lol I thought that was great! But, no, nothing.
I sent my step mom flowers and called both my hubby's moms (one mom, one step mom) my kids are still too little to do anything so obviously dont expect anything from them.
Just as a side note, even though we weren't celebrating, he's gotten me something every year anyway. Last year was a big pack from lush, I think I still have one thing left from it.
I did lots for his birthday, our anniversary, christmas even, and I'm getting a whole lot of buttkiss.
I'm just bummed I guess, if this is how the holidays are gonna go, I dont want to "celebrate" anything.

[tim139]

I always get that way around holidays and birthdays. You do so much for some people and would like a little in return but you get nothing. Every since i was a kid i was always good to my mom on mothers day we usally go to church in the morning and then a big family breakfast. Over the years i have sent my mom to the salon to get her hair done, her nails and I always make it a good day for her.
Im sorry yours wasn't as good. But to leave you and go off with his friends on mothers day, not cool. Some guys are like this, i don't know why. But hopefully you don't give up celebrating holidays yet give it a few more attemps.

I can never tell my MOM how much i love her and thank her for how much she has done for me. But i always try to make mothers day special for her.

[moefox]

I feel like a complainer. I know the holidays aren't supposed to be about what you get, I guess I'm feeling under-appreciated in everything and this just puts a giant magnifying glass on the situation.
Thanks for letting me vent, I figured this was one of the few places I could write it out and it wouldn't get back to him! lol

Hope all the other moms had a fantastic day

[BFMamaOf2]

You're not alone hun! I even had to post my own rant about my MD (of course in the one place where I knew it was safe too!) I'm sorry your day wasn't what you deserved (and YES!! You did deserve to be recognized & appreciated & feel loved!) *Hugs*

[orv]

Yep, you are NOT alone! You are not a complainer, its not like we expect fancy gifts. Just some acknowledgement and appreciation. I don't get it very often so I was looking forward to it yesterday. And I was most definitely disappointed.

[RedEng]

Ditto here, but after 9 years I don't bother getting my hopes up. I did get Boston Pizza which is a step up from most years. Both my DS did give me lovely presents (thanks to school) and I did have a nice Day with them, while DH slept and watched TV.

There are two things that we have to remember 1. DH is not our child and 2. Father's Day comes after Mother's Day and we can return the favour.

[moefox]

Father's Day comes after Mother's Day and we can return the favour.

LOL awesome.
He came home after work and I was down in the dumps, he noticed and asked what was wrong, so I straight up told him. He didn't say anything for a long time and then appologised and said it wasn't that he forgot, he just got sidetracked with doing his own thing (remember he went paintballing). I said I know, and that's why it's so upsetting.

He's spent the night cleaning and making plans to help organize the house a bunch on the weekend. And giving me lots of hugs and I love you's. It's nice he at least feels guilty, but I dont want guilty, I want appreciative and thoughtful.

*sigh* at least I know I'm not alone.
Still sucks, sorry ladies, this is a sad place to be.

[terryberry]

(((((hugs))))) moefox

[mcandlish]

Awww, im sorry you had a bummer day.

My 6 yr old made me a bead necklace and gave it to me when I woke up, then I spent the rest of the day cleaning and doing laundry lol

[saucyblondie]

Hey gals, I hear ya! I've been married for 16 yrs and hubby is slowly being trained in this area...so I'm here to give you hope! lol

One year, only a few years ago, we went out for dinner. Except because it was MD, and he didn't make reservations, we sat in line for hours. The kids were not impressed. I went home crying because it was such a disaster and how could he not have planned it, blah, blah.

For Christmas, he was always going out on Christmas Eve and buying some expensive, useless gift (yup, wasting money when I save all year) and then I'd get mad at the cost and he'd be disappointed I didn't like it.

So, I changed. I decided to start being VERY clear about what I want. No wish lists, no hints. Clarity.

This year, when I turned over the calendar May 1, I said, "Oh look, next Sun is Mother's Day!" The look of horror washed over his face! lol

I said, all I want for Mother's Day is this cool fountain at Costco and dinner with the whole family together. I said, I'm ok with a bbq in the back yard. Later I found a coupon for $5 off an ice cream cake at Tim's.

So, he bought the fountain (yes, on Sunday, and he got the last one...but it was on sale $20 off! lol) and the cake (with the coupon I clipped) and took out steaks for a bbq. All the kids were there (our oldest ones work and are never home) and I was pleased. It was exactly what I wanted and I felt great about the day.

I tell you this because I've come to realize he does want to show appreciation but doesn't quite know how. So I'm clear: this is what I want. And then he does it.

Yes, it would be more romantic if he read my mind...but that's just going to lead to disappointment. Because he's no good at that. But he does love me and he does want to celebrate so he just needs a few suggestions.

Same goes for Christmas and my birthday. I say this is what I want. And he does it. Works for us.

Marriage is a work in progress...keep talking...and you'll find what works for you, too. ;-)

[Mrsjen]

Yep. My first mothers day (we have a 7 week old) and I got a "oh happys mother day"

[moefox]

oh saucyblond, that sounds just like my husband. He really is a sweetie, he just doesn't think of other people first. He figures if you want something you'll do it yourself. Does not make for uber romantic times, but he also knows what he wants and isn't afraid to show it.
I was laughing as he was getting all his paintball things together, the livingroom was FULL of gear and I said "you know, a lot of women would be intimidated by a hobby you put so much into, but what I see is you're not afraid to commit!" and it's true, I know he loves me, loves his family. I guess I just need to learn "manspeak" and tell him straight out what I need.
It would be SO much easier if he just read my mind though!

[saucyblondie]

Oh, I just remembered and have to share...the worst gift he ever bought me was one Christmas...an impulse buy...a family ring with all the stones of all the kids...except we weren't finished having kids yet! Sheesh, when I think of it now at least I can laugh...but I was hopping mad! lol

I took it back and got a ring I liked...too funny!

[mhk]

moefox - I think we all married the same guy!!!! Oh no - lets take him to the Jerry Springer show and yell at him Just kidding.

In the same boat - sigh! Men - can't do with them, and can't do without them.

[moefox]

Thanks ladies, you all made me smile.
I was kinda bummed yesterday because of a trian I was in (VWT) I ended up having to throw out 26 coupons from it because they were expired. SOOO frustrated. It was my first VWT so I know I packed everyone elses wishlists too. I think I ended up getting about the same amount that I can use, though some are hopelessly...I dont even know the word, just silly.
I'm expecting a few more to be coming in soon, crossing my fingers they're different.
Now I know to be a LOT more specific with my wishlist!!