Parents living with you - any experiences to share?

[Zonny]

We've taken a big step, and as of last weekend, my mother has moved in with us. We have a finished basement with a bedroom down there, so she has moved into that space. Anyone have experiences to share?

While she did get rid of some before she came, Mom took WAY too much stuff with her, we'll have to pare it down. But so far things are going well.

She's able to cook and doesn't mind, it gives her something to do, so that's a GREAT thing. I plan what we're having and tell her what needs to be done, and she has dinner ready for us when we get home. As working parents this is a HUGE benefit!

Also great to have a built-in babysitter. After DS went to bed last night, DH went grocery shopping with me. I always have to do it and drag it all home myself, it was fabulous to have someone to help! Pathetic how exciting it is for DH and I to go out without a kid, even if it's just to the grocery store.

We don't have her space set up completely downstairs, but her bedroom is set up, she slept down there for the first time last night (we have a bedroom upstairs that she's been using).

Anybody have experiences to share?

[Natalka]

I just want to say lucky you, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart!

It's something I would have just loved to have done!

[grumpy]

I think it's super when you get along with your parents. But nice to keep a few boundaries i think, just so people set in their ways don't step on each others' toes.

[MrsSunshine]

ya know if it works for you . thats awesome. I bet you are going to love having her there..
MIL is still on her own.. for now..

[Zonny]

I wouldn't say that this was what we ever planned for, but it was what we needed to do. We haven't always gotten along fabulous; while I love my Mom, she does state her opinions on my choices at times, or on parenting issues, and I don't like it. But she's being careful to not do so now.

Mom never had a health problem in her life until last year, and while she's healthy now, she's lost her confidence. She wasn't happy living by herself in a rural area and not able to drive, and when living in Halifax before she no longer felt comfortable going places alone. If we went to a store, she stuck to me like glue.

I'm happy to say she's somewhat better now, and has been making an effort to hop on the bus or walk to go places herself when we're at work, I'm very happy about that. I also hope to get her involved in seniors activities.

She also is being very good about trying to leave us our own space, she doesn't WANT to be a burden or intrude on our lives. Eventually when we have it cleared out enough, we'll be giving her her own cable hookup downstairs so that she can go there and watch TV in the evenings without being obligated to watch what we want to.

So far so good, I'm hopeful it will all work out!

[Sherbear609]

Be thankful...I was very lucky to have my dad for the last years of his life...IT drove me nuts at times to see him asleep on the steps outside..or to be on the phone like a teenager ( 4 am was last call!!!) He would babysit my son (the only grandchild @ the time) he would play games with my son and We would wake up on weekends not to find the 2 around..... I laughed so hard the one time he played wii...Or would yell for us to get the cat out of his way (they became very close..lol funny part is he wasn't a cat person Enjoy the time...

[c_mcarthur]

I guess it really depends on your relationship if it'll work out or not.
if it was me, DEFINITELY NOT!
i love my mum, but no way would i ever want to live with her again!
not worth the headache! lol

[Loner]

first of all, how old is she?
women are living longer, up to 85+
you don't want her to be a burden
are you charging her rent?
food, hydro, water bills will go up
with another person living under your roof

[oceanblue]

Good for you to have u Mom with you!! I agree w/ a previous poster.. it's wouldn't be for everyone.
Both DH & mine parents visit us maybe once a yr or so. We are all living in seperate provinces.

My parents - I have no problem at all.. they help sooo much from assiting w/ meals.. if I need a back up to my daycare (i.e if DS is ill - no problem at all), anything around the house.. my Dad is pretty handy and fix up minor items. DS loves hanging hanging out w/ my folks!! I miss them sooo much... I really wish we lived closer.

I could be a little biased

My MIL (DH's parents have been split for 20 yrs plus) I really have to bite my toungue a lot of times She belives in telling her thoughts on everything.. and I mean everything!!! I do respect her, since she is DH's mother.. but 2 cooks in the kitchen is no good - if you know what I mean.
DS is not 2 happy if MIL & hime are let alone.. if if I'm running out to the garage and DH is working.

Another issue is that I'm preggo and both DH & I told her (MIL) that I can not eat much fried/greasy food.. I was getting quiet sick ... instead of cooking more heathly dishes.. she would still cook fried/greasy meals. I added up just making a salad or sandwich for my supper to avoid all the sickness.

But the way I'm starting to look @ things (i guess I'm getting old) - our parents will not be around for ever.. so take the good & the bad, accept people have faults (I'm sure I do hehehe), I miss my folks dearly (although I talk to them maybe 2 -3 times per day),and value those "special" moments.

[WandaJean]

I live with my Mom, and I wouldn't have it any other way, bless you for your kindness. My mom is 73 and she can out do me, she has been such a big help while I have been going through all I am. My one brother lives basically 3 blocks away and doesn't even call or come, he hasn't see her in probally 15 yrs or more, except once on her 70th birthday his wife dragged him to her surprise party. My mom is my best friend and I would never leave her to fend for herself or put her in a home.
You have a big heart!!!

[kris10]

It sounds great for you,i do agree with everybody on here. But I just have one thing to add. I don't know how old your ds is or anything but with him I would just make sure they follow the rules with him...

I've it is good for them to be living in the same house with kids but afterall they are grandparents,if you control things like how much candy he gets, i am sure they let him off the hook for a lot more things and stuff try to make sure they understand you set rules.i am sure they will respect them but just from my experience grandparents can go overboard and probably more so if they are living in the same house. They are grandparents so they should be allowed to spoil them just try to find a middle ground if it happens.

[TaraF]

I commend you for allowing your Mother to come and live with you, not everyone would. I think the way you have it set up is also an added bonus which hopefully will save you alot of frustration. At 24 I moved back home to take care of my Mother when she fell ill and as her health went up and down constantly I decided instead of moving out on my own again to possibly need to uproot and come back and care for her, I stayed with her.

I'm 31 and married now and we (hubby, myself and mom) all live together. It's been one of those interesting roads for us in the sense that my moms health got alot better the past 2 years and mine went downhill, but such is life sometimes. The long of the short of it is this: It won't always be easy and sometimes you'll think "why did I ever agree to this?!", but it truly is worth it in the end.

As with ANYTHING in life, with any relationship and any situation, it will work if you MAKE it work. Goodluck with it.

[anisa]

your hubby is very nice for having his mother in law live with you as well
a lot of guys just aren't into being around their inlaws.

[Altasamantha]

Start now with your rules .. if you are determined your child never be punished a certain way ..Express it now ..and stress it lots.
Remember this is YOUR home .. and she is staying there .. you have your own rules ..
and plans for raising your child.

Best of Luck

[Wendark]

I think the most important thing is that you stand together with your husband - always. Don't let a live-in parent come between you even over something that my seem small. If they understand this is how things will be from the very beginning, there should be little or no problems. You also have to respect each other's personal space and make sure you act as a family unit - don't make her feel like she's intruding.

My in-laws lived with my dh and I for almost 10 years. We're all still alive and still love each other