How do I tell my soon to be 3yr old that our cat died?

[ummali]

My rule of thumb is be honest. Kids view things in simple ways. they ask lots of questions but are so much more accepting and adapt to things better than grownups.
Have your arms ready for hugs and let them cry if they need to. Its healthy to release those emotions and they will need to grieve as well.

[Jezebel]

I am so sorry for the loss of your furr baby{{hugs}} I have not much to offer other than to let her know you are sad also...and it is okay to show her feelings...

[clarinetlaj]

Im sorry for your loss (i know how hard it is to lose a pet). I would discuss heaven and the better place that your cat is at now. The bible says the lion lays down with the lamb (and many other animal examples) so we can be confident that there will be animals on the new earth. ....thats what i would do anyways

[guccigoo22]

I'm soo sorry for your loss! Your baby must have been soo loved after 19 years, and i'm sure will be missed forever.

We've lost pets, and this year I lost my Grandma. Surprisingly, the kids seemed to handle it better than me for the most part. We were honest, and explained death in the most non scary way possible, but let them know that the pets were not coming back. We are not really religious, but we explained about pet heaven.

I found that at age 3-5 they kind of had a morbid facination with death, and brought it up often. Not in a sad way, but more just to confirn. Like when my brother's little daschund died, my then 4 year old kept saying "Minnie died" with a sympathetic face and tone. She would then explain to me that in doggy heaven, she could walk and run again, like before her accident (she was paralysed for 2 years). It almost seemed like she was trying to comfort me!

Kids are extremely resilient, and sometimes we don't realise that by us not telling them the truth, or holding back on things we think may hurt them, they actually pick up on our anxiety, and internalise that instead.

I'm sure however you choose to deal with your very heartbreaking situation, it will be the best for you and your family.

[mhk]

Heartfelt condolences to you and your family. I know what its like to loose a loved pet. I would just explain to him that the kitty went to heaven, and is not hurting any more. I am sure he knows how much an owie hurts, so he would not want kitty's owie to hurt?

Its tough, but remember - that too shall pass. Chin up girl !!

[poppleton]

Sorry for your family's loss...i agree with some of the others that it's best to be honest! I've heard from many people that, as children, they were told that a relative/friend/pet moved away when they actually died, and the kids were heart broken that their loved one didn't say goodbye and didn't want to be near them any more. I think that would be much more difficult for a child to bear than knowing the truth!

[kanda]

I think you should be honest that your cat died (I'm so sorry!)
I think it is really important the people of any age learn how to cope with grief. If you shield her from this now, when would she learn how to cope? I, personally, think it is better to learn about death, and the emotions that come along with it, with an animal than wait until a person dies and have to teach her this kind of stuff then.

It is never easy and I hope whatever you decide to do goes ok

[erin9mmm]

Oh, I would be honest for sure. Like another poster said, I wouldn't tell your child that the cat was put to sleep but would definitely tell the truth and say the cat was old and died. At such a young age just keep it short and simple (follow your child's lead). You will be surprised at how the simplest answer will usually satisfy them.

[monkeyincowtown]

Thank you so much everyone! I'm getting all teary eyed reading all of your messages of condolences! My kitty, Priscilla, had actually been sick for a while. She was deaf and had recently started going blind as well and she had a tumor the size of half a tennis ball on the front of her throat. I'm truly amazed that she was happy as long as she was!!! In the end DH and I decided that we didn't want to wait untill she was in obvious physical pain before we did something about it. It was obvious that she was deteriorating so we made the tough decision.
We knew that this day would come so we actually helped try to prepare my daughter by saying things like "kitty's a very old lady" and "kitty's sick". Its kind of remarkable, but I think my daughter knows what happened even though she hasn't mentioned that the kitty is no longer here. She hasn't asked about her at all. I think she's trying to spare our feelings.

[mhk]

You seem to have a sage daughter monkeyincowtown . Take care.

[Sally888]

Sorry about your cat.

I would just tell the truth that the cat died. It's always the best route.

[darnbarn]

I am so sorry about your cat I lost mine a few years ago I thought I would never stop crying but a few months later I had a 5 month old kitten end up at my door step someone (stranger) dropped off. I love him now I always say my jazzy (cat) dropped him off from heaven for me they are our special angels , when ready you can always bring another home to share your life with

[Chantel]

Sorry for your loss When I was about three, our 15+ year old cat Jesse died. I called for him for a while and he didn't come, and my mom just told me that he was very old and he knew he was going to die so he went away into the mountains to be comfortable (we have a mountain in our backyard, so it wasn't a lie or anything). I don't know if that actually happened or if he died and that was a fib, but I did stand outside and cry for a long time. I was OK after a while though.

My aunt told her kids that the cat was in the basement when it had actually died (as in, the cat had passed away, but whenever they asked where it was she said it was hiding downstairs), and I don't think that was the right move. I know I wouldn't like finding out later in life that when my mom said my cat was downstairs, it had really been gone for a long time.

Your kids will cry, that's for sure. They'll be upset one way or another, they've lost something they love, but I think being honest with a lot of sugarcoating will help them cope the best.

[shirley55]

lost my cat to on sunday,very hard to deal with as an adult when you love them so.my great nephew lost his goldfish on the weekend it was part of him
since he was 6mnts. old.he is 10.went on dr phil website about children loosing their pets.he gives great advice.do like me go get another one to fill that void.best wishes

[jayne_a]

My DS is 4. We had a family member pass away a few months ago, and i explained to DS that uncle went to heaven, where he could go fishing all day long, and that it was a very nice place that ppl go to live in forever when they died. He was okay with that. We have had no problems, or worries, the only thing that he does do now that he didn't do before is if he see's a dead bug or worm, etc he asks if they are dead.