Long distance relationships

[momof3heathens]

Just curious: For those who are in or have been in long distance relationships due to work(months at a time) or what have you how much time did you spend daily on msn/chat websites and or phone calls?

[kanda]

I was and it ended badly. My heart got broken

[momof3heathens]

I am not in one at all but a friend is and I think its pretty unhealthy how much time they spend online together. Daily for hours and hours and hours at a time. They haven't even met yet but have an online relationship for about 2 years now. They are waiting for immigration to accept his application.

[shmeelady]

When DH and I first started dating he lived in a town 3 hours away from where I was. Neither of us had a car and our only time to see each other was weekends we'd take the greyhound back and alternate weekends at each others places.

We'd call each other on lunch break at work, then after work, then before we went to bed. We rarely chatted on msn though because he didnt have a pc. We probably spent 2-3 hours a day on the phone... give or take.

[urouj862]

all i can say is "absence makes the heart grow stronger"

My husband and i have been in a relationship for 9 years and have been apart from each other as long as 8 months before and after we got married. It made us love each other more, for sacrificing that precious time. When i had to go see my mom and help her out for 3 months straight, i respected him that much more for understanding. When he needs to go for work related trips , he appreciates me for what i'm sacrificing.

And that moment when you meet afer that certain amount of time is just priceless and i cant explain in words the feelings you get when you hug. You get the same butterflies in your stomach and your heart skips a beat- from when you met the very first time...

The best thing i do during those times is chatting with him on the phone for as long as i can, telling him about my days , him telling me about his. Having conversation about other things rather then just focusing in how much i miss him. Also sending pics of you doing your daily activities, gives you more insight and something tangible for you. Speaking of tangible things, i LOVED writing letters. Yes you can e-mail or text but a letter is so much more romantic, write a letter on a day you miss him more then usual,all those feelings , just write it out. Its that extra effort of mailing it and writing it that counts too. It makes the receiver feel more special .

i hope it works out for the best

[Daisiefire]

When I met my fiancé we lived 3 hours away from each other. We talked on the phone every night for a couple hours and we would text throughout the day. We didn't use the computer. He would drive to see me on his days off and he would stop when he was traveling through for work. At the time he drove truck with his dad so he would make it so his sleep time was when he was going through my town. Man, thinking about it makes me love him more.. He must have been absolutely exhausted. I wish I drove so I could have been in Edmonton when it was time for his reset..

[Daisiefire]

And to add.. It is almost like a long distance relationship still.. He is gone anywhere from a day to a week.. Once a week is over he has 36 hours to reset. If he is home daily ( which is rare) he is home for 8 hours only and has to sleep..Right now he is on his way back from the Yukon.
And yes it is exciting every time I get to see him. I feel like a giddy school girl every time he tells me he just
parked the truck I don't think the magic will ever end

[ashokia]

My DH and I were apart for more than a year during my last year of high school. He moved to the city and I was still in the country. Neither of us drove. I didn't have a phone or a computer. (I was living on Welfare after my mom kicked me out while still trying to graduate..)

We only saw each other once a month and talked on the phone once a week. That was more than enough time for us. But you have to trust your partner and your relationship to be able to do that.

There is no wrong or right when it comes to love. Do what feels best for you. As cliche as it sounds, what's meant to be will be.

[TaraF]

momof3heathens, ummm based on the fact that they've been in a "relationship" for almost 2 yrs and have never met and what is holding them back is waiting on Immigration papers? HELL NO!!!

Okay lemme explain my situation: I met my Husband from Online dating, he lived in Missouri and I'm in Ontario Canada. The number one thing we said to eachother is that since we seemed to have a connection if we were going to waste any time, emotion, etc we better see if we actually connect in person. Long story short: After only chatting online/phone for 6 months I bused it down to Missouri and thankfully he wasn't a serial killer and an amazing guy

So we ended up flying back and forth from Missouri (when he was in the US) and Canada for a few years as our relationship progressed, which not only gave us time to spend with eachother and get to know eachother it also showed how dedicated we were to what eventually blossomed into a relationship. We will be 4 years married this December, however we did NOT look into any immigration papers until 2 months before we were married as we were not going to file any papers unless we wewere serious about being together.

As for time we spent online/daily, well we had our own lives and how long we chatted online/ on the phone depended on where we were in our relationship and also where he was in the world as he was in the Marine Corps and moved around alot. Generally though we would always talk to eachother on the phone each night for about a half an hour and if we'd "catch" eachother online when going about our Internet Travels we would talk there as well. We didn't get married until he got out of the Corps because I didn't want to be a Military Wife and moving around or try to continue on in a long distance relationship.

My opinion? She's spending WAY too much time online with a person she's never met for 2 years and the fact that they are looking into immigration before having met raises red fl@gs to me and trust me it will raise red fl@gs to immigration! We had to provide documention to lawyers about when/where/how often and how we travelled to see eachother during the course of our long distance relationship and also letters of declaration from friends/famillies on BOTH sides attesting to the fact that our relationship was real and that they had met us too.

Just saying

[KrazE]

Yep, Tara has it bang on - if they were truly serious, they would have met by now. Is he married with kids?

[Darth Penguin]

We spent 2 years in different cities, meeting only on week-ends and phoned each other every other day for about 10 mins.

After we moved in together, his job involved a lot of travelling and mine shift work. Again we tried to keep in contact in the years before cell phones were common.

Then DH got a job in Canada and we spent about 5 months apart only this time we had DD1. We spent about 30 mins a day on the phone that time. Mainly dealing with the details of moving.

Now DH still travels up to 3 weeks at at time. We phone each other for about 5 mins unless sometging serious has happened. We sometimes Skype each other as well.

[Darth Penguin]

My opinion? She's spending WAY too much time online with a person she's never met for 2 years and the fact that they are looking into immigration before having met raises red fl@gs to me and trust me it will raise red fl@gs to immigration! We had to provide documention to lawyers about when/where/how often and how we travelled to see eachother during the course of our long distance relationship and also letters of declaration from friends/famillies on BOTH sides attesting to the fact that our relationship was real and that they had met us too.

One of the major reason we got married was to make moving to Canada easier. DH already had a work's visa so that wasn't a problem and we had a 2yo daughter to prove we were serious
But I agree with the other posters it's very suspicious.

[virtualsadie]

OH Boy how I hate LD relationships! It's too stressfull period. I think it also depends on how the relationship started and how serious you are and yes age.
When you are young (ahem) you have a lot more time to make mistakes then when you get a little older and can't be bothered with all the problems associated with finding the right times to chat/mesg/call blah blah blah thats' not at all a relationship it's bullcrap. I know there are exceptions but for me I'd prefer to have my special person with me.
Something stinky then there is a cause to the stink.

[virtualsadie]

I haven't read all responses but I wanted to caution anyone who is thinking of sponsoring / marrying someone from out of Canada
When they get here "YOU" are resposible for them for everything and anything they do their health care lodging food clothes EVERYTHING. And if they in some way screw over the govt for welfare funds for instance YOU are on the hook for it and YOU have to pay it all back, not them! It can not only hurt your heart but financially ruin your life!

[momof3heathens]

Lol. I know she is being a complete idiot. She is close to 50 with 3 adult kids and 2 currently in care as she has been reported for spending too much of her day with this man online. He is only 26. She talks to his parents too so the relationship is semi legit in that she is totally in love and I believe he is too however I think he has a mental problem and his parents just want him to come to Canada from Algeria to take advantage of medical policies etc. She totally reads between the lines of what the immigration papers say too. She thinks the amount of time he spends on the computer with her shows total devotion. I said it sounds stalkerish. He asks permission of her for pretty much everything he does during the day and she giggles like a freaking school girl. I was just curious as to how much time normal people spend online with someone they love. Even my teenage daughters don't talk as much to their boyfriends as she does.