**SC' being SC Secret Sender + VWL train***All Envies have arrived!***

[Amy4coupons]

[jemwars]

This one has always been one of my favorites

A police officer (who shall remain nameless) pulled over a red Porsche after it had run a stop sign.

"May I see your driver's license and registration please?"

"What's the problem, officer?"


"Your jusran the stop sign back there at the last intersection."


"Oh, come on pal, there wasn't a car within miles of me".


"Nevertheless sir, you are required to come to a complete stop, look both ways, and proceed with caution."


"You gotta be kidding me!"


"It's no joke, sir".


"Look, I slowed down almost to a complete stop, saw no one within twenty miles, and proceeded with caution."


"That's beside the point, sir. You are supposed to come to a complete stop, and you didn't. Now if I may see your license and..."


"You've got a lot of time on your hands, PAL! What's the matter, all the doughnut shops closed?"


"Sir, I'll overlook that last comment. Let me see your license and registration immediately!"


"I will, if you can tell me the difference between slowing down, and coming to a complete stop."


The police officer had enough, "Sir, I can do better than that." He opened the car door, dragged the obnoxious motorist out, and
proceeded to methodically beat him over the head with his nightstick.


"Now sir, would you like me to slow down or come to a complete stop?"

[trish1980]

Did you hear about the fellow that was talking to his buddy, and he said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stumped." His buddy said, "I have an idea. Why don't you make up a certificate that says she can have two hours of great sex, any way she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled!" So the first fella did just that. The next day his buddy asked, "Well, did you take my suggestion? How'd it turn out?" "She loved it. She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the mouth, and ran out the door yelling -- I'll see you in two hours!"

LOL

[trish1980]

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

[trish1980]

I love Jenna Marbles. I have to share this video. **Warning, Offensive language**

[trish1980]

And some Jeff Dunham

[jemwars]

Clue #1 for the "secret buddy" game is now posted in post #3

Good Luck Everyone!

[Jmarshall]

Interesting clues. I fit a few oF them

[trish1980]

hmm...I fit some of them.

[misstarbender]

so do I...

[trish1980]

Can we guess more than once? Like, if I guess now, can I guess again for the 2nd clue? I have a feeling with 1 person, but I don't want to waste my guess.

[misstarbender]

good question Trish..I wouldnt mind taking a stab at it...

[mandolimed]

there are just too many for me!!!

[couponandoff]

I know i know i know who my secret buddy... Isnt!

[jemwars]

You may have a maximum of 1 guess per 2 clues...so it you guess after the first clue you will have to wait until the 3rd clue is posted to guess again

Can we guess more than once? Like, if I guess now, can I guess again for the 2nd clue? I have a feeling with 1 person, but I don't want to waste my guess.

good question Trish..I wouldnt mind taking a stab at it...