RSVP responses

[MrsSunshine]

When you receive an invitation to an event, how long do you wait before you send back the Reply card, whether your going or not. Would you expect a phone call if you didn't send it back in time. Although that sort of takes away from sending it in the first place, as your are wasting time chasing people down.
we've sent out 20 invites for appr. 40-50 ppl and have received 3 back. the last date is June 15. should we expect a whole whack of cards to come in in June at the last minute. I have a few more items I need to work on before the even arrives and would really appreciate knowing in advance if I should even bother or just cancel event. My husband has stated as long as we have 10-15 ppl were still going to hold event.
Help?

[hollyquaiscer]

I always send something like that back immediately as I realize there are always so many preparations to be made once a number tally in is. However, having said that, a lot of people wait. If you needed a head count prior to the June 15 date you gave, perhaps you should have moved You have sent them out really early and I am just wondering if a lot of them will get misplaced by the time the date comes around to mail them back. I know you are trying to give people lots of time, but unfortunately as humans we look at an invite and say, "I have lots of time to reply to that" and set it aside. Did you talk to people about your party prior to the invites going out? If so, hopefully you have a rough idea how many people are coming.

I remember the last wedding we had for one of our dd's. Same thing, invites came in about a week before the deadline. But we had a real good idea how many would be there, and we were only 7 out, that pretty good for a 125 guest list.

I hope people send them soon. If you are worried or really need the head count prior to the rsvp date, perhaps you could call. I know that defeats your purpose, but at least you will have your figures.

[Darth Penguin]

I used to be really bad at returning RSVPs when I was younger. Nowadays, I tend to confirm over the phone or via e-mail within a day or 2 of getting the invite and return a written reply within the week.

Of course, that doesn't always mean I can attend since life can throw up a bump or 2 in which case I'd phone and let the hostess know asap.

[MrsSunshine]

thanks Holly.. the 15th is the cut off date we set for letting the restaurant know how many dinners we'd need.. they did say a rough idea would be fine as they have food.. just a heads up if they'd need to order more.. Im the same way I send the card back as soon as possible. we haven't been to a wedding in ages. however his nephew is getting married and they already know we won't be going. (long story) were both just hoping ppl are making sure that they have the date free from holidays etc before they send their cards..
just so we knew that ppl wouldn't forget that date.. gave everyone a 'save the date' card to put on their fridges. that way they have a constant reminder oh ya.. keep that date open type of thing. i know i still have just over a month til they are expected back. just wasn't sure what the norm was on when to expect them back.

[MrsSunshine]

and thats the thing Darth.. for 99% of our invitees we either seem them daily, talk to them on email or on facebook. so i know i can probably do a quick 'touch base' if i need to.

[Lynn49]

Oh, thank goodness for the "touch base" ones! That should give you a good idea of who's coming...like others here, and having had our DD's wedding, I send the RSVPs back ASAP because I know how much depends on them getting their head counts to the caterers. If you're curious about others, just send an email, when the date is very close, and ask if they received the invitations, and were they planning on attending. I think it's absolutely rude to withold that information from people! It's like...Um...something better may come up! Grrr... Good luck, Hon!

[glowworm2k]

To be honest, I always feel that the 'return by' date is my deadline to respond back. I often leave it for a week or two after I get the invite so that I can double check with DH that we are actually available (he sometimes forgets to tell me about other commitments or write them on the calendar) and if the event is being held somewhere that we have to travel to, I do some research and find cheap accommodations and also maybe look for some other things to see/do at the location. Case in point: one of DH's cousins got married 3 years ago. The wedding was out of town and the suggested hotel for guests was a very pricey one (one we couldn't really afford). The respond by date was 6 weeks after the invite was sent. After 3 weeks, we were still looking for a cheap hotel as we'd found some activities in the area we'd like to do as well. The cousin's mom - DH's aunt - called us and complained that we hadn't sent the card back yet. DH politely told her that we still had 3 more weeks according to the invite and were just trying to ensure that the weekend would work out for us, so what was the problem? She was very unimpressed with the answer but did concede that the 'respond by' date was when they needed to know.

My suggestion would be to put the date earlier if you need to know earlier; otherwise, you'll get lots of people like me who are unintentionally causing you grief by sitting on the invite.

[FallenPixels]

This is for work related events but in general we get approx
15% reply immediately or confirm with the save the date

10-15% claim they never got any invite (despite an email save the date, two emails and hard copy invite)

30% reply on the rsvp by date

5% just assume you know they are coming or not

The rest come in between with about 10% replying after the date even up to the day asking is it too late to rsvp?

[FallenPixels]

And when I say on I mean they will mail the card or online rsvp on the actual date

[saveadollardiva]

I had the same issue with my wedding. We sent out our invites just before the mail strike! So we gave it awhile and we only got half of them back! I had to call certain people asking if they received their invite and alot of them didn't??? So I would have to ask them over the phone if they were coming or not. Waste of nice invites!!! I would wait a week before your event and then call the people who have not responded yet. Usually you should RSVP as soon as possible (at least I do) so people can do their planning properly. Call them a week before your event (the people who have not responded) and ask them if they got their invite and if they are coming. Now if you keep calling people and they do not return your calls/message, call them one last time and say "if I don't hear back from you on such and such date I will assume you are not coming. I hope you are able to attend, if not we understand."

Give it some time though, Canada Post can sometimes be slow. I am sure people will start responding. One time I got no mail for like 5 days then I got like almost 50 things of mail the next day!

[MrsSunshine]

lol I love some of those percentages.. funny..

thankfully none of our guests are out towners.. so no hotel needed there.. i'll try to be patient. im sure will get a good response. i think i've def. made up my mind though.. im going to let my kids elope.. LOL

[saveadollardiva]

^ LOL well me and my DH could do that italian and portuguese parents...they would have killed us lol

[MrsSunshine]

my parents offered it to me the day of my rehearsal.. man oh man I should have taken it....19 years later... i still wish i had. truthfully.. i'd rather go away on a nice vacation and watch my kids get married.. and then throw them an 'open house' party after.. but then its not up to me at that point.

[FallenPixels]

lol I love some of those percentages.. funny..

I organize a lot of events for work and they rarely change... as I am following up on RSVPs myself

[Lynn49]

my parents offered it to me the day of my rehearsal.. man oh man I should have taken it....19 years later... i still wish i had. truthfully.. i'd rather go away on a nice vacation and watch my kids get married.. and then throw them an 'open house' party after.. but then its not up to me at that point.

My wedding day 42 years ago is a blur....453 people at our wedding...can you imagine chatting up that many people at the reception? Our DD got married, 120-ish at theirs...a nice number to cope with....The only thing about eloping is that not all one's really close friends can afford to attend..but then again, a reception back home would involve them...BUT...I have to marry them anyway for their marriage to be legal in Ontario!