A few LOLS for you.....

[electric_viking]

[coyote00]

[coyote00]

[coyote00]

[coyote00]

[coyote00]

[SillyLoocie]

[i_forget]

Oil Change instructions for women.

1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the milage reaches 5000KM since the last oil change.

2. Drink a cup of coffee.

3. 15 minutes later, pay $30, leave with a properly maintained vehicle.


Oil change instructions for men.

1. Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, and cleaner, and a scented tree, pay $75.

2. Stop buy the Beer Store and pick up a case of beer, pay $30, drive home.

3. Open a beer and drink it.

4. Jack up car. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.

5. Find jack stands under bicycles in the shed.

6. In frustration, open up another beer and chug it.

7. Place drain pan under engine.

8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench.

9. Give up and use crescent wrench.

10. Unscrew drain plug.

11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil, splash hot oil all over self, swear.

12. Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.

13. Have another beer while watching beer drain.

14. Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.

15. Give up, crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.

16. Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter, splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter amongst neighbours trash to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.

17. Install new oil filter, making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.

18. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.

19. Remember drain plug from step 11.

20. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.

21. Drink beer.

22. Discover that first quart of fresh oil is on the ground, throw kitty litter on oil spill.

23. Get drain plug back in with only a minor spill. Drink beer.

24. Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipes eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and band knuckles on frame, removing all skin from the knuckles.

25. Begin swearing fit.

26. Throw stupid crescent wrench.

27. Swear for an additional 5 minutes because wrench hit bowling trophy.

28. Beer.

29. Clean up hands and bandage as required to stop blood flow.

30. Beer.

31. Dump in 5 fresh quarts of oil.

32. Beer.

33. Lower car from jack stands.

34. Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during any missed steps.

35. Beer.

36. Test drive car.

37. Get pulled over and arrested for DUI.

38. Car gets impounded.

39. Call loving wife, make bail.

40. 1 week later get car from impound yard.

Money spent:
Parts: $75
DUI: $10,000
Impound fees: $250
Bail: $5,000
Beer: $30
Total: $15,355.....BUT YOU KNOW THE JOB WAS DONE RIGHT!

[Lynn49]

Awww...dat widdle face... I could just hug him and squeeze him and love him up all day!! Or her. Doesn't matter...
I bet it still has puppy breath!!!!!!! And a big pink tummy to sherbert....! OMG I love puppies!!!!!!!

[coyote00]

[coyote00]

[coyote00]

[Redneck Charger]

[Redneck Charger]

[Redneck Charger]