I'm so beside myself and very upset

[Jezebel]

Darth Penguin
FYI read my rant first dont tell me as a parent to say out of my kids lives, we are a happy family, I dont running my sons live I as a mom give him advise that what parents do doesn't matter how old they are and a controlling relationship is not healthy either and ah REALLY....... I'm a mom I fight for what is right in life, REALLY..................dont dare tell me I run my sons life they THANK GOODNESS ARENT TOGETHER BECAUSE HE CANT BE A DAD TO HIS CHILD WHEN SHES THERE. REALLY ............ he is responsible for his child THANK YOU VERY MUCH. Relationship are to be working together not against each another THANK YOU VERY MUCH. Sounds to me that your not a parent and if you are shame on you. READ MY RANT FIRST AND UNDERSTAND IT. YOU DONT LIKE IT, DONT REPLY TO IT. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. Please dont reply to this either, done with RUDE PEOPLE DONT CARE WHAT YOU THINK AND DONT WHAT TO HEAR IT EITHER. You really dont understand because your not a PARENT.

regardless if this is the rant section it is still not permitted to attack other members

[lekate]

To lekate
wasnt possible for her to get pregnant. thats what she told him.

Unless she has no reproductive organs one should ALWAYS take that with a grain of salt. Many women are told they can't get pregnant, but really there's a 15% chance. Maybe she was one of them. I don't know her, nor her doctor. Maybe there were a lot of infertility issues in her family, and just assumed? I had friends like that, 5 years and 3 kids later....

I'm hoping I don't come off as mean, again I don't know her, but don't see why she would lie about this. If she wanted a baby with him she could have just lied about using BC like other girls do.

Good luck with the situation. Maybe you guys should find a mediator to sort this out. And continuing to stay angry towards the mother won't help, she may be an awful person but she's the mother of your grandchild. Life's too short to stay angry.

[Speckled28]

I think men in general.....not just your son.....often tend to leave the birth control up to women.......which can lead to unfortunate consequences. And by no means am I saying that your grandchild was an unfortunate consequence......but every other aspect of this situation is.

If there's ANYONE out there that doesn't want a child/pregnancy they need to be responsible and take the proper precautions....for themselves.....not leave it up to someone else. If I happened to date a man who said he was sterile (for whatever reason).....there's no chance in heck that I'd stop taking precautions on my own end. I know, without a doubt that I do not want a baby at this point in my life.....so I'm not willing to leave that decision in anyone elses hands.

I genuinely don't think that Darth Penguin meant to offend you. I think she was just offering the opinion that your son probably could have been more responsible when it came to protection.....and now unfortunately he's found himself in a huge mess with a baby in the middle. While I'm all for being there to support your son....he is an adult now....and a parent.....which carries a huge amount of responsibility. What he decides to do and what kind of relationship he wants with his child will ultimately be his decision . That baby might be the best thing that ever happened to him.....and hopefully he and the mother can figure things out in a way that's least damaging to your grandchild. A baby and unwanted relationship (with the mother) is a pretty big consequence/lesson of not spending $1 on a condom.

I really hope this story can have a positive ending for everyone involved....especially your grandchild.

[Totter]

I've tried reading this post 3 times and I still have now clue what it's about....maybe ITS ALL THE CAPS!

[es89]

Jezebel wasnt attacking anyways.....

[es89]

To lekate No mediator needed here got lawyer.

[es89]

To Liliana55
Not at all.

[erin9mmm]

Darth Penguin
FYI read my rant first dont tell me as a parent to say out of my kids lives, we are a happy family, I dont running my sons live I as a mom give him advise that what parents do doesn't matter how old they are and a controlling relationship is not healthy either and ah REALLY....... I'm a mom I fight for what is right in life, REALLY..................dont dare tell me I run my sons life they THANK GOODNESS ARENT TOGETHER BECAUSE HE CANT BE A DAD TO HIS CHILD WHEN SHES THERE. REALLY ............ he is responsible for his child THANK YOU VERY MUCH. Relationship are to be working together not against each another THANK YOU VERY MUCH. Sounds to me that your not a parent and if you are shame on you. READ MY RANT FIRST AND UNDERSTAND IT. YOU DONT LIKE IT, DONT REPLY TO IT. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. Please dont reply to this either, done with RUDE PEOPLE DONT CARE WHAT YOU THINK AND DONT WHAT TO HEAR IT EITHER. You really dont understand because your not a PARENT.

I think there is a fine line between being there for your child and interfering. As much as we want to give advice to grown children sometimes for the sake of the grandchildren we need to step back. I think an unbiased third party (like a counselor or clergy) would be better. Let your son know that you love him and will be there for him but ultimately it is his family and he needs to decide what is best.
I don't think Darth meant to offend you and her advice, albeit blunt and to the point, IMO was good.

[SharonMe]

Well said.

I think men in general.....not just your son.....often tend to leave the birth control up to women.......which can lead to unfortunate consequences. And by no means am I saying that your grandchild was an unfortunate consequence......but every other aspect of this situation is.

If there's ANYONE out there that doesn't want a child/pregnancy they need to be responsible and take the proper precautions....for themselves.....not leave it up to someone else. If I happened to date a man who said he was sterile (for whatever reason).....there's no chance in heck that I'd stop taking precautions on my own end. I know, without a doubt that I do not want a baby at this point in my life.....so I'm not willing to leave that decision in anyone elses hands.

I genuinely don't think that Darth Penguin meant to offend you. I think she was just offering the opinion that your son probably could have been more responsible when it came to protection.....and now unfortunately he's found himself in a huge mess with a baby in the middle. While I'm all for being there to support your son....he is an adult now....and a parent.....which carries a huge amount of responsibility. What he decides to do and what kind of relationship he wants with his child will ultimately be his decision . That baby might be the best thing that ever happened to him.....and hopefully he and the mother can figure things out in a way that's least damaging to your grandchild. A baby and unwanted relationship (with the mother) is a pretty big consequence/lesson of not spending $1 on a condom.

I really hope this story can have a positive ending for everyone involved....especially your grandchild.

[es89]

Its very sad that people cant take their own advise about attacking SC members read the rant first this will be my first rant and last ever when this alll fixx I will not say anything OH my word really it very unfortunate that people dont have a happy LIFE I wil be keeping an eye on this I will support my children as I SEE FIT. dont like rant dont reply period.............

[erin9mmm]

No one has attacked you but you have attacked Darth and now others for giving an opinion that you don't want to hear.
When you post a rant or anything else you have to be prepared to hear another side, not everyone will agree with you and that's okay.

[EricsMom]

Its very sad that people cant take their own advise about attacking SC members read the rant first this will be my first rant and last ever when this alll fixx I will not say anything OH my word really it very unfortunate that people dont have a happy LIFE I wil be keeping an eye on this I will support my children as I SEE FIT. dont like rant dont reply period.............

When you post a rant and ask for feedback you leave yourself open to both positive and negative responses. No posts have attacked you and they have just reflected that person's opinion of your situation.

The only victim in all of this is your grand baby. Heartfelt thoughts and prayers for your family and the mother's family that an amicable arrangement can be made. We absolutely never stop caring for our children when they grow up but there comes a time when we need to step back, support and love them, but let them work through their troubles. That doesn't mean let him go it alone. That means if he has to sue for custody, support him emotionally, don't belittle the mother. If at some point your son and the mom get back together or just mend fences between them, you don't want your relationship with your son to be damaged because you harbour so much hatred for the mother.

It's not an easy situation and no one here doubts your love and devotion to your son. Try and face the situation with empathy instead of anger.

I truly wish your family the best as you navigate this difficult time.

[IRefuseToPayFullPrice]

Just because somebody doesn't agree with you doesn't mean they are attacking you.

[Kalmel]

Like others have mentioned, when you post a rant on a forum, be prepared to get some reactions...good or bad. Opinions are hard to take sometimes, especially the ones that dont fit our agendas. Darth went staight to the point..lol..but i really dont think it was meant to beat you down. Sometimes stepping out of our comfort zone and hearing other peoples opinions can be a good thing...why does it as to always come across as a bad thing?

Anyhoo, not gonna share what i think because it's kinda obvious that's not what you want to hear so, i'm wishing you the best of luck and do hope that things gets better.

[kelly25]

It is very difficult to understand each other’s tone when writing and not actually speaking. Obviously a difficult situation and we aren’t going through what you are so we can’t understand the full extent of what you’re feeling. I just wanted to give some intake on what I think I would do in that position. Hope you guys settle this mess with minimal damage to the grandkid.