Sooo, exactly what is good about getting old???

[operabob]

[operabob]

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.
One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me .. I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."
Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"



Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light."
After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!"
Mildred turned to her and said, "Ooops- am I driving ?"



Proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends REALLY late one night the drunk led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong.
"What's that big brass gong for?" one of the guests asked.
"It's not a gong. It's a talking clock" the drunk replied.
"A talking clock? Seriously?" asked his astonished friend. "How's it work?"
"Watch" the man said. He picked up a hammer, gave it an ear shattering pound and stepped back. The three stood looking at one another for a moment.
Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed "Hey-- you stupid jerk! It's ten past three in the morning!"





A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself
slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath, he ordered a
banana split.

The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"

"No," he replied, "Arthritis!"





"When I die, I want to go like my great-aunt Thelma, who died peacefully in her sleep-- not screaming like all the passengers in her car."

[SillyLoocie]

Here you go Looce!

Apples come in many varieties & sometimes pack a crunch,
Your Momma was right if she told you to eat an apple at lunch,
Some people like their apples juiced & some just like them sauced,
& some people even slice them & into a salad they’re tossed,
Some people just love an apple crisp with a scoop of fine ice cream,
& I even have a cake recipe that’s known as Apple Dream,
Gala Apples sound romantic & belong at a buffet,
Even our friends the Boy Scouts shine them on Apple Day,
Spartan Apples are suited best for baking & we all love apple pie,
You can also use Ida Reds or a tasty Northern Spy,
Honey Crisp apples are “Delicious” as is a McIntosh,
Just remember before you bite you apple to give it a little wash,
You can make some apple jelly & spread it on your toast,
Did you know apples hail from everywhere & sold from coast to coast,
I like apple blossoms as they beautify our trees,
& I hear that there’s a sandwich made from apples & grilled cheese,
Be careful how you handle an apple as they can easily get bruised,
& all this apple imagery is causing me to be confused,
Now I have been called a crab apple, but that’s a different story,
& this is my salute to apples & even to their corporate glory.

p.s. That is an ouch!

[coyote00]

[coyote00]

[coyote00]

[coyote00]

[SillyLoocie]

[operabob]

[operabob]

[operabob]

[SillyLoocie]

You can see if the boys are awake by giving them a nice cold (?) beer.

[Lynn49]

You can book another March in Florida to get away from the absolutely, horrible, lousy, schizophrenic weather we had THIS year! Hah!
Watch: it'll be another warm, glorious March next year...lol!!

[SillyLoocie]

[coyote00]