Have you ever felt......

[momof5boys]

I know how you feel! I took DD to a birthday party a couple years ago, and the adults were sitting there talking about the size of their boats/yachts and where they sailed in them etc... I could not add anything to that conversation (didn't think saying my father has a canoe would have the same effect, LOL). I know it just wans't a lot of talk as there are a lot of well off families in this school (doctors, lawyers, etc...).

To be honest, I feel sorry for such people actually. No one takes their money with them when they die. Through frugal living, we manage well (even though we are considered 'low income' now). Focus on helping the needy, not on material possessions, and your life becomes so much richer!!

[vesper]

That is like my sister. I love her to death, but she was given everything, house, furnishings, car, education... you name it, father gave it to her. Kind as can be, but she innocently makes everyone feel bummed out with all her stories about what she spends her money on.

Me, I would rather have that kind of financial freedom at the end of my career, rather then now. I will be, I don't think my sister will unless father wills everything to her.

[aurora04]

To be honest, I feel sorry for such people actually. No one takes their money with them when they die. Through frugal living, we manage well (even though we are considered 'low income' now). Focus on helping the needy, not on material possessions, and your life becomes so much richer!!

I agree completely about focusing on helping the needy! This is what we do. We don't have a lot of money, but we make sure we teach the kids about helping others and we still do our donations, buy Christmas Gifts for needy people, etc... It makes the kids feel good about helping others as well.

[CrazyQT]

A lot of times the bank owns those types of people. I would rather be debt free and cut coupons and shop sales then have a huge house with a maid.

[YOU AND ME]

I agree with CrazyQT a lot of these people are in debt up to there eyeballs

[newb]

To be honest, I feel sorry for such people actually. No one takes their money with them when they die. Through frugal living, we manage well (even though we are considered 'low income' now). Focus on helping the needy, not on material possessions, and your life becomes so much richer!!

I`ve been told, but cant vouch for it, that there are no pockets in caskets, so you aint taking nothing with you...
Seems to me there are people that brag about what they spend and those that brag about what they save ... I`ll do the savings brag everytime.

[SassyAshley]

I think the biggest thing people need to remember is we all have different situations. I know many people who have many nice wonderful things I would never think of buying who are not in debt where is I know others who yes are in debt because that they own.

There are so many variables that work into this and yes at times do I think wow I wish I could shop like this person or not worry about it go on vacation every year like this person does, yes I do. But currently I do not have the finacnes for these things, no, could I do these things and still make it work probably but right now for me I do not want to live paycheck to paycheck I do not want to try to juggle my bills with pay days, I want to know there are saings.

Like many have said even within your own family you will see differences, my bros lives an extremely different life style than I do and this is their choice.

[JennyFromTheRock]

I'm glad she made you feel welcome at the party. I hate how money seems to draw a line between groups of people and I'm glad you accept her for what she is.

Its not exactly easy to have money either. You run in to anger and jealousy quite often. Its hard to be friends with people who you were once friends with especially if you have come into money quickly. I grew up middle class, hard working parents and a very loving happy home. I come from the Province of Newfoundland, which isnt known for its rich population by far. One summer, while visiting friends in Alberta, I met my husband. He is a professional in the oil industry. He does very well. As a matter of fact, he made great money when we met, but every year since we have been together it has doubled.

He makes quite a bit ( makes 6 figures and the first number isn't 1 ) , but I still coupon, I still love to save a bargain shop. I don't fit in well with the "money" people, I have gotten together with them, and they do make me feel welcome but I have little interest in them. they also say my couponing is "weird" and mock it ( they pass the mocking off as being cute / playful ) I find them to be snobby and just annoying to be around.

On the other hand, I have been rejected by lower income people. People even go as far to say "I shouldnt be coupling" or "why would you try to save money if you seem to have so much of it" its rude and hurtful. The friends I do have now, I don't even like to talk about my husbands job. I usually give them a general answer to what he does for a living to keep myself in a "middle" class field. I have been friends with some of them for over a year and still knot up when finances come up.

People with no money can buy something, be excited, post a picture to facebook and people are excited and happy for them. People with money can't do that. If I get something new, I'm not aloud to post it apparently because that would be "bragging" - money means your not aloud to be proud of things apparently. I have worked very little in my life, I worked with Mentally Challenged people in Newfoundland, I love to help people. But when I met my husband and Moved to alberta Years ago, I havnt worked since outside the home. I have made and been raising 3 beautiful children though.

You wouldnt believe the anger I've had because of the "easy life" I've been given. Money dosnt define me, but some people seem to let it get in the way of everything. I hate that.

[savess]

Creating a happy home life and raising 3 children is WORK.
Even if we all had the same amount of money, it would probably turn out close to the same way. We all have different priorities, and spend money accordingly. I think there would still be the same kind of judgements taking place. One would have a lavish home, one would have a plain home and vacation every year, one would give generously to charities, etc etc.
Do what makes you feel good, let others do what makes them feel good, and be grateful for all that you have.
Jenny, I hate when people make everything about money too. Really, it's usually not about money at all.

[JennyFromTheRock]

Creating a happy home life and raising 3 children is WORK.
Even if we all had the same amount of money, it would probably turn out close to the same way. We all have different priorities, and spend money accordingly. I think there would still be the same kind of judgements taking place. One would have a lavish home, one would have a plain home and vacation every year, one would give generously to charities, etc etc.
Do what makes you feel good, let others do what makes them feel good, and be grateful for all that you have.
Jenny, I hate when people make everything about money too. Really, it's usually not about money at all.

Yes I agree that Making and raising children is work. Hard work at that. I'm on call 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Maid, Chef, Doctor, chauffeur, etc. Also the most rewarding job. There are people though who think its "the easy life" and there is a lot of jealousy. I do a lot for our community, yet people still seem to complain when I buy something for myself of my kids. 2 christmas's ago I was called wasteful and bragging ( by people I have since obviously unfriended on facebook ) because of the amount of toys I bought my kids for christmas. I hate how some people are so ridiculous to think that a person would actually go out and buy their kids christmas gifts to impress someone else. Doesnt it occour to people that I bought them because I LOVE my kids... not to impress anyone!! Same goes for everything else that people consider bragging.... people buy things because they want them, not to impress others. Sorry I seemed to have hijacked this thread a bit with my own rant but I have been having a hard week or so dealing with this exact issue. Sorry OP

[electric_viking]

these lyrics say a lot...

I recall when I used to come home never had a dime
But Lord I always had a good time
And I recall drinkin' wine with one of my friends
Lord, I can't go back again

(Chorus)
Am I losin' my own way back home
Am I losin' a good friend that I've known
Am I losin' won't you tell me how I've sinned
Why am I losin one of my best friends

And I recall this friend of mine I knew so well
It goes to show Lord you just can't tell
Now my friend won't talk to me Let me tell you why
he thinks I 've changed because of a dollar sign
(Chorus)

And its so strange when you get just a little money
Your so called friends want to act just a little funny
They'll blame you

But I'm not the one that's here to blame
Its you my friend that's really changed
Its a shame, such a shame
Am I losin' once again

Why these things happen, Lord I don't understand
But Lord it can sure hurt a man
Why my friend won't take me as I am
'Cause your friend Lord is the most important thing

[savess]

Great song. Well said.
Jenny these people are jealous - try to not let it get to you. You know what is right for your family.
I still think that if these exact people got the same toys (etc.) you have, they still wouldn't be happy.
I maintain - it's not about money.

[anisa]

there are many ppl that are wealthy, but use that money in the most economical way possible.
many of these ppl don't show off, raise their kids to be humble and grounded individuals, and never talk about how much money they make.

sometimes we look at ppl, no matter who they are and see things that we wish for ourselves.

you never know what happens behind the scenes in some families. never take it personally

[SharonMe]

This is a great post. Your friend sounds like a really nice genuine person and you do too. I think that when you take away all the layers, that's what really draws us to people.
You don't know their finances though. You may in fact be better off. Some people live way beyond their means.

[pippinelkhound]

20 years ago I was a stay at home. We lived paycheque to paycheque. There was no wiggle room. None. I made a friend who was double income, kids in daycare, she had ait all.

Now, I have a good wage, and can have the luxuries I couldn't back then. Her life has changed. One income, working a barely above minimum wage job.

We are both fortunate to own our own homes. Now she "jokingly" teases me about the money I make. I don't want to lose her friendship but it's getting hard.

I don't flaunt it, but everyuone knows how much I make because I work for the government. It's hard.