no words!

[OgresWife]

Background: Due to circumctances, my goddaughters family had to move in her grandmothers almost a year ago. It was cramped, and certain members don't get along but the kids had a roof over their heads and food in their bellies. It has been rough all along and many fights but again, roof and food right?

I just had a hysterical phone call from GDDs mom (L) saying that her mom had kicked L and hubby out of her car, leaving them in a ball field and took off for home, saying she was going to be looking into taking custody of my GDD and her sister. I know theres more to the story, but L's cell phone was dying and she needed a way to get to her kids! I don't drive (or own a car) I have no cash to send a cab for them and everyone I could ask is too far away or at work.

The kicker? l has an appointment today to apply for welfare to be able to get some money flow going to move out of her mothers house. Now shes not sure if shes able to use her mothers address or not.

I feel so stuck and all I can offer is a place for L and hubby to camp out for the afternoon if they can get here

[krysta lynne]

what a crappy situation. perhaps she feels that the parents aren't doing a good job. it's easy as an outsider to judge but when you live with people you get to know the really story about who they are and what they are really about. front stage presentation of a person and the reality of the backstage self can be like two different people... i recently lived with a friend of mine and found out so mny things i did not know the extent of and i am no longer really friends with that person, it was just too much for me to handle.


its hard to offer any real advice in this situation as i know none of the parties involved, but i do hope that whatever happens, the kids get out of it as unscathed as possible.

[francine1985]

They should apply for emergency housing and call the police to get the kids back immediately. Otherwise it may look like they abandoned the kids. And from the sound of it those kids were kidnapped. I don't care if it was the grandparents they have no right to keep them away from the parents without acourt order giving them custody.

[OgresWife]

GDD's mom made it out to my house yesterday. The girls were over at a friends. L called her mom (H) and got into a screaming match with her over who said what but it resulted in H coming to pick up K (L's hubby) to take him back to the house to pick up their own van. They then left shortly after to make their 330 appointment with community services.
They came back after 5 ( I had a mandatory meeting to attend). They had the girls, and some overnight stuff. I literally have no room for anyone but they had all their camping gear and made their way over to my moms for the night. The had some good news in that they can get some money coming in from welfare and my mom found them a good lead on a 2 bedroom aprt for $400 (nothing included, but thats friggin rockin!) L had a backlog cheque coming in today so they have some money to put down on a place and the van had about half tank of gas in it.

Things are looking better, but L is very much done with her mother and father. The woman is pretty toxic toward her granddaughters too so I know deep down this is a good move, I just wish it could have been done better.

[YOU AND ME]

Sorry this happened but it might be for the best,believe me it's hard living with family,my DD,SIL and 3 GDs live with me.There are times i want to throw they all out of the home especially my SIL but i bite my tongue and move on

[MillieH]

I don't understand why the whole family was still there after a whole year and why she is just applying for assistance now. Its hard when adult children move back in and bring the whole family.. and not really fair to do that, unless there is some sort of health issue and everyone is contributing to the bills and running of the house.

[OgresWife]

They didn't need assistance until now. They moved in partly because L was gong to school to eventually become an LPN. But she can no longer continure with her education (teacher suck), and partly to get her older daughter away from a bad crowd. H told her she would pay for her schooling, but couldn't help with rent. At the time, L's hubby had a job so they had money flow and kept the house in food and paid for a storage locker for their things. Hubby lost his job a few months ago so it was L's baby bonus cheques keeping the house still in food and cable/internet/phone. Part of the blow up is the H screamed how they never pay rent and do nothing around the house. Even though L had done 95% of the cooking since they moved in.

There is good news though! They found a decent place and can start moving in immediatley! Its also in the same school district for the girls!

[MillieH]

This is a sad story really..the grandmother takes in her daughter & family for a whole year, pays for her education, has her space invaded.. and her daughter skips on the education because the teacher sucks and is angry at her mom because she wants more help with the house. Maybe the mother is just frustrated that she let them stay there for a year and they are in the same position they were when they arrived, plus she is out the money for the education and extra utility costs plus a year of stress.

I don't understand why the husband didn't at the least get UI .. she must get a large baby bonus if she supported a family of 4 on it....

[OgresWife]

I think there was some points missed, either in reading or I neglected to write them. The daughter could not continue her education due to teacher/school suck. She did not "skip" on it. The daughter has also done 95% of the cooking and most of the laundry and general cleaning for the household in this year.

The husband could not claim UI because he hadn't been at work long enough. (lost previous job less than two weeks back on the job after being off for minor surgery)

This IS a sad story, and they ARE relatively in the same spot they were when they moved in, but it is not from lack of trying to improve their lives. We are a very small community and jobs are slim, and what are there require either years of experience or schooling, which daughter was trying to get.

But how many times can you hear derogatory things directed at yourself before you snap? Many of which I heard before they even moved in there.

This is a sad story really..the grandmother takes in her daughter & family for a whole year, pays for her education, has her space invaded.. and her daughter skips on the education because the teacher sucks and is angry at her mom because she wants more help with the house. Maybe the mother is just frustrated that she let them stay there for a year and they are in the same position they were when they arrived, plus she is out the money for the education and extra utility costs plus a year of stress.

I don't understand why the husband didn't at the least get UI .. she must get a large baby bonus if she supported a family of 4 on it....