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Thread: Breastfeeding
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Tue, Jul 26th, 2011, 11:58 PM #1
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So Noah had his two month checkup today. Everything looked great, he got his shots, he's measuring at 25" and weighing in at 16 pounds, 13 ounces. The Dr. said she was very happy with him and did we have any questions for her? I said I was concerned about his weight and whether or not we should be worrying about it. She said not to worry about it, as long as we were feeding him on demand whenever he was hungry there is no way he will become obese.
Then she asked me how many bottles a day we were giving him, to which I replied at least eight. She looked at me like I was crazy and said, "Aren't you breastfeeding?" I explained that he was getting breastmilk, but in a bottle.
Apparently this is a big no-no and now all of a sudden my baby is at risk for becoming obese because most parents force feed a baby a whole bottle even if it isn't hungry and teach babies to eat not because they are hungry but to please someone else. She said I had to start breastfeeding solely and cut out the bottle and that I better hire a lactation consultant to get him taking the breast.
She said it will be much easier for me this way.
Seriously? Easier? There is a reason I have been pumping my breastmilk. We tried breastfeeding and it didn't work. The baby would get frustrated, I would get frustrated, I would then fantasize about ways to kill the baby so he would stop crying already and it made me feel like a complete failure and a horrible mother. I thought this was a good alternative. My baby is still getting the best, healthiest start and I'm not questioning my sanity every five minutes.
So today, I decided to give it another shot. I was punched, pinched, bitten, scratched and howled at and by the time we were done (TWO HOURS LATER) we were both in tears. HOW IS THIS EASIER FOR ME?
I really would love to see this Dr. try and breastfeed a seventeen pound baby who doesn't want to breastfeed! If it wasn't so hard to get a family Dr. here in Ottawa I would stop going to her, but my DH has been on a waiting list for a family Dr. for three years.
I'm at my wits end here. I'd love to be able to accomplish this "EASIER" breastfeeding that she's talking about but I don't know how I'm going to do it! Any thoughts, comments, ideas, suggestions? I really don't have money to shell out on a lactation consultant!This thread is currently associated with: ShellLast edited by ashokia; Tue, Jul 26th, 2011 at 11:59 PM.
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Wed, Jul 27th, 2011, 03:16 AM #2
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You might have access to lactation consultants for free in your area! Our regional health authority offers breastfeeding support groups throughout the city run by public health nurses, and each one also has at leadst one lactation consultant. You can try the La Leche league, but depending on the type of group, they may not be the most supportive of your situation. I quickly googled, and came up with this link, which looks like the type of groups we have here...http://www.ottawa.ca/residents/healt...dropin_en.html
If breastfeeding doesn't work out, that's okay! Pumping and giving him breastmilk is s great thing, and I know folks who did that exclusively! But if you are able to breastfeed, it is nice because it takes out the extra step of pumping!
In terms of the amount he is eating, i think you mentioned in the other thread that he gets six ounce bottles....48 ounces a day might be a little high for a two month old. Both my sons still ate every two to three hours at that age, but they were only getting 2-3 ounces at a time. The lactation consultants should also be able to give you good suggestions about what to look for to ensure that baby really is hungry. An awesome book with ideas on routines is the Baby Whisperer. While I don't agree with everything she has to say, I love her suggestion of always feeding baby as soon as they wake up, then having "activity" time (which includes burping, changing the diaper, playing, etc), then having the baby sleep. i have done this with three kids in the past four years, and itis wonderful....you always know what is coming next! If they are fed and have been up for a while and start to fuss, you know they are ready to nap!
Hope this helps! If you have any other questions, please feel free to PM me!
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Wed, Jul 27th, 2011, 03:46 AM #3
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I hope you don't mind me saying this, but 6oz may be a bit much for a 2 month baby.
Kellymom has a great calculator for this - http://www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/m...tml#calculator
I was feeding my LO who was 6 weeks (now 8 tomorrow) 5 oz bottles because she would eat it all, when I used the calculator it said she SHOULD be receiving 3.5-4 oz and I thought I'd give it a try.. .she was full and happy with 3.5-4oz as long as she knew the bottle was empty. She would get frustrated if you tried to take a bottle away that STILL had milk in it..
Breastfeeding IS hard, I fought for weeks to get to a point of being comfortable and it was just the 6 month mark. The best tips I have for you are don't wait until he is hungry, try feeding him in between bottles a bit to see if he'll cooperate more, and if you are worried about being bitten or tugged at, try a shield for the first few feeds if you do want to give it another try.
Best thing to do is to try and not get frustrated, it's hard.. but it's so much harder for a baby who can't tell you why he's frustrated. If you stay calm he'll feed off of that and you may have better luck.
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Wed, Jul 27th, 2011, 08:19 AM #4
I would check the hospital to see if they have a lactation consultant there. The one here was a godsend for me (my daughter is 4 months old now). I have went and seen her so many times with problems (I think i have experienced just about every breastfeeding problem out there ) and it hasnt cost me a thing. I really don't think I would have continuted to bf without her help. I hate how lots of websites etc make breastfeeding out to be this natural easy thing to do when its the complete opposite. I find it tiring, time consuming and frustrating! Someone mentioned the kellymom website. I found that to be helpful and also the LLL formus. I know there are lots of moms there that exclusively pump and bottle feed their babies so you could always talk to them here's the link : http://forums.llli.org/index.php
Krissy
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Wed, Jul 27th, 2011, 08:35 AM #5
I think it's terrible that your doctor is telling you that you better cut out the bottles. You have found a way to give your baby breast milk when many other people would have quit! Well done!
My son is only a month old and he occasionally gets pumped milk in a bottle, but usually it seems like an awful lot of work for me. But in a month from now he will have bottles all day long as I will be back at work.
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Wed, Jul 27th, 2011, 09:20 AM #6
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don't take your doctors "advice". i can see maybee cutting back on the ammount of milk he is getting at a time but you have every right to feed your baby however you want. if he wont nurse he wont nurse. you are going through a lot of extra work to keep your baby healthy with your breast milk. if the doctor doesnt like it too bad that's your baby not theirs.
i honestly dont understand why so many people are willing to ignore their gut feelings when it comes to their health/the health of their family just because the dr. said. (sorry i dont want this to sound blunt but really it is your body and your baby. that means it is your decision and you dont have to change what is working for you just because a dr. said)Intergalactic Proton Powered Electrical Tentacled Advertising Droids!
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Wed, Jul 27th, 2011, 10:01 AM #7
My DD was a bottle fed baby and she's not obese. I think that's just plain ridiculous.
Sure it's great if you can BF, but if not so what? Millions of babies are bottle fed and they turn out just fine.
My DS is 10 weeks old and he can eat 6-8oz. It really depends on the baby and how often he eats. If they are hungry, they are hungry. I'm not going to not feed him because he MAY become obese later on. He's 14 pounds, and very healthy. That being said I usually make a 4oz bottle and if he eats it and is still hungry I make another. Sometimes a 4oz is enough, other times it's not.
Kids will usually run off excess weight when they become active. I know DD used to look like a sumo wrestler. lol. And I was always really concerned. She didn't eat as much as DS does now but she was off the scale for height and weight! Now at 2.5 she's 27 pounds and 31 inches tall. Average. She's actually one of the smallest in her daycare class.
Only you know what's best for you and your baby/family. BF'ing is great but NOT if you are resenting your little guy. I lost the first 3 months with DD because I was a zombie. I was miserable and cranky and couldn't even enjoy her. As soon as I switched to the bottle, it was like a cloud lifted. I really enjoyed her and savored every minute. With DS, I didn't even attempted BF'ing. I learned the hard way it's not for me and I honestly dont care what anyone thinks. I love my little guy and I know I'll remember his first few months!
You what feels right for you and Noah. *hugs*
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Wed, Jul 27th, 2011, 10:07 AM #8
I think it is great that you take the time to pump and feed with a bottle. A lot of women are not that dedicated because it is hard work. I wouldn't bother trying to go back to the breast but I would experiment with different amounts of milk in the bottles to see what happens. I breastfed with a shield for 6 months and then pumped and bottle fed for 6 months. My daughter would stop on her own though so when she was done, she was done and wouldn't take any more.
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Wed, Jul 27th, 2011, 11:06 AM #9
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I think it's terrible that so many medical people are so inflexible about breastfeeding. I was particularly annoyed with residents who had never had a baby telling me that I should be feeling baby movement at 15 weeks of pregnancy, and that I should "just" breastfeed rather than supplementing with formula (when it took six days after the birth for any fluid at all to come out, and I was only able to pump a few ounces of milk a day (with medication!!) for the 3 1/2 months after that!) I was even told by public health nurses in the first few days that the baby wouldn't bond with me if I bottle fed (even breastmilk). They wanted me to breastfeed on demand at night and then pump as well every two hours at night when I was getting about two hours of sleep a night. What a way to create stress for new mothers.
If you're lucky enough to be able to pump bottles full of milk, who cares if it's not directly from the breast? My SIL somehow could pump enough for her twins, and they were exclusively bottle fed.
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Wed, Jul 27th, 2011, 12:36 PM #10
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I know you are in Ottawa - I wonder if we have the same dr -- that sounds really familiar!
Anyways, yes with my son the first 2-3 weeks were extremely painful - I cried and wanted to give up, bleeding, screaming on my part and his, but we got through it and it is so much easier then pumping!
You don't sleep as you have to keep feeding to get your milk amount up, but it does get better.
Anyways I went to a lactaction consultaant at Carlington Community Health Centre (on Merivale) - she was AMAZING! I'm sure she could give you some tips.
...and having said all that if you do bottle feed the baby will be fine!
Good luck!Last edited by ame555; Wed, Jul 27th, 2011 at 12:40 PM.
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Wed, Jul 27th, 2011, 01:03 PM #11
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Breastfeeding is hard work, but pumping and bottle feeding is even harder
I wish you the best of luck mama. He very well may not enjoy the breast ATM as he needs to work for milk to come out (where as it's more passive from a bottle). If you do want to reintroduce him to the breast, I'd suggest a good lactation consultant and possible SNS use (with pumped breastmilk in it) so that he always gets milk at the breast, not just when you let down - at least until he gets the hang of it.
http://www.medelabreastfeedingus.com...ing-system-sns
The only reason I'm suggesting a lactation consultant would be because there's a pretty good learning curve with breastfeeding, and at this point he's used to getting instant gratification from a bottle with little effort. To get him completely on the breast now would be a bit difficult.
Getting him to latch on properly would probably best be aided by a professional. They also can let you know if you/your baby may benefit from an SNS temporarily. Once you get him latching on properly and sucking on the breast you could wean him off the SNS.
Have you gone to any of the baby well clinics? I know here at least they are free and they have lactation consultants.
Edit: I just wanted to add, that if you are happy pumping and bottle feeding, great. I don't see any major harm in it other then the possibility of over feeding, but that exists with formula as well. I wouldn't be worried at all.
My first baby doubled her weight at 2 months and was eating 35-40oz of BM a day (I only know because I went to a wedding for 12 hours and she went though 26oz) -- I was impressed -- she was only 5.5lbs at birth. She nursed 14-16x a day around the clock and refused solids until 8 months.
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Wed, Jul 27th, 2011, 02:43 PM #12
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Thats ridiculous to tell you to stop bottle feeding! You are doing a wonderful thing by providing your baby with breastmilk, even if it's through a bottle. It is a really hard thing to do, and you should be proud of yourself.
It sounds to me as though it is a lot of milk (if it is the amount the others have indicated.) However, every baby is different!
Do you have a baby group in Ottawa with a Public Health Nurse? I went to one in Carleton Place every week while I was nursing, she was able to answer any questions I had, help me when I needed help, and when I chose to switch to formula was very nice about it. If you could find a group like that, maybe you could get a second opinion?
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Wed, Jul 27th, 2011, 05:40 PM #13
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Everyone will offer their opion. My 2 cents is to ignore me and everyone else and go with your gut instinct. Hard, but go with your mother's intuition! If your child is hungry, feed him/her. You will NOT cause a child to be obese at 2 months. Do not worry. Enjoy Motherhood.
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Thu, Jul 28th, 2011, 02:02 AM #14
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What annoyed the heck out of me, was that before she knew we were exclusively giving him a bottle, she said he was perfectly healthy and thriving and we shouldn't worry about his weight. A few minutes later, she gave me the whole, that is how babies become obese speech.
The bottles I use are Evenflo. They are 4oz bottles, but if they are filled to the top it's more like five or six ounces. Sometimes he'll go through a whole bottle, and sometimes he won't. When he turns his head away and is done we don't force him to finish.
Noah was eleven pounds at birth. In the first five minutes of life he drank an ounce of formula. At the hospital, I was set up to fail. They would not let me wait for my milk to come in, they forced me to formula feed. By the time my milk had come in enough that I could stop supplementing two weeks later, he was already used to the bottle. (And during those two weeks, I had to feed him for twenty minutes on both breasts, then pump for twenty minutes on both breasts.) I tried my hardest to get him on the breast. I had the public health nurse in my home watching him nurse and giving me pointers. I would much rather just be able to breastfeed, sure! That's why I started this whole process in the first place, rather than just going straight to formula.
Noah is now 25" long and weighs 16 pounds, 13 ounces at two months old. He is a big baby. Of course he eats more than your average baby! LOL. He's twice the size of some babies his age.
Yesterday was a struggle. Today was a little better. It's going to be an uphill battle for both of us because we both need to relearn everything. I know how to tell when he's done with the bottle. I don't know when he's done at the breast. Last night I nursed from one until two, went to put him down and he wouldn't settle down so back up at three we got and he ate again for twenty minutes and was fast asleep until almost seven. Today I nursed him and three hours later when I'd normally be ready with a bottle, he was fussing. Tried to put him on the breast and he screamed and kicked and scratched. I finally decided to try putting him down and he went to sleep right away. He wasn't even hungry! But I'm so used to him putting up a fight no matter what, that I just assumed he was being his usual cranky self.
My issue isn't with the doctor wanting me to breastfeed exclusively. She's a doctor, so obviously she is going to recommend the best thing for any baby. What I took an issue with was her saying one minute that my baby was healthy and not to worry, and the next implying that I was a horrible mother who was going to make my baby obese by forcing him to finish a bottle and teaching him to eat to please us. I have never once forced my child to suck back a bottle when there was some left. I've got lots! I don't need to ration it! LOL.
So thank you for all the helpful advise and encouragement. It really means a lot. I just needed someone to vent to who would understand what I was going through, and unfortunately none of my friends have babies, so they don't know how to respond to a rant like this!
*hugs*
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Thu, Jul 28th, 2011, 11:01 AM #15
I've breastfed all my kids, two of them until they were 2.
I personally disagree with your doctor. Firstly, breastfeeding and bottle feeding are two totally different latches, and if your baby has been on the bottle, he probably isn't going to have a very easy go of it going to the breast.
So your baby is a little fat. That's healthy. Babies are suppose to have a nice chub to them. What are you and Daddy like? Is baby following his gentetics? I think its more likely that baby has a predisposition to being a big boy rather than you over feeding him. Your baby was 11 lbs at birth, thats nearly dbl the usual newborn weight of 7-8 lbs.
Once baby starts getting mobile and active the fat will melt away, but in the meantime that fat will come in very handy if he gets ill and is unable to eat.
I agree with Juniperjune, relax, enjoy your baby and listen to your gut. If your still concerned, I would suggest getting in touch with your local Le Leche Leagus chapterLast edited by Tantum; Thu, Jul 28th, 2011 at 11:03 AM.
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