How to Afford?

[wimbly11]

My boyfriend and I are ready to add to our family ( he has a 12 year old daughter from a previous relationship). I've been saying I've been ready for a year or so now. Now my bf is ready too. However now that he's ready I'm having some anxiety. For one my mother is not supportive of my relationship and she will loose her mind. Two, I'm scared of te actual pregnancy and process. And three, how to afford it!! How do people do it?


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[Zonny]

If you wait until you can afford to have a baby, well, you won't! I didn't see that I had this much extra cash in my pocket before I had a kid, but we've always found a way to look after the one we have.

Pregnancy, some are smooth sailing, some are more difficult, but the end result is totally worth it!

As for your mother, not a lot you can do about that one. But if she wants to have a relationship with her grandchild, she will probably just have to get over it!

Best wishes!

[MrsSunshine]

I'm with Zonny.. my mother was not exactly in my favor either, however it was a little hard to resist the little one's when they did come along.

Each pregnancy and labour is different. depending on how you want to have the child. hospital vs at home. etc.
but guaranteed.. 99.9% chance you will not remember any of it once the baby is in your arms.. at least after a few weeks to months.

and ya.. if i waited til i could afford my kids. pfft.. maybe in my next life.
as long as their basic needs are met.. you'll be fine. you can always borrow from friends etc.. anything you need. have showers out the wing wang.. shop at rummage/garage sales etc.

for at least the first few months to years.. baby needs you(nutrition) or some supplement there of and clean diapers. the rest are extras that im sure friends and family can help with in addition to buying things on sale or with coupons.

[Nomerr]

Coupons, samples and thrift shops! Also I found once the little ones arrived my DH and I were spending less on eating out at restaurants, movies and other things we were doing for entertainment, so it kind of evens itself out....kind of.

[Jina]

What Zonny said. If you wait until you can can afford you won't

I'm due in May but already stocking up on diapers that I find on sale and use coupons too. I kept a list of diaper counts when I had DS so I know approximately how many boxes of which number I'll need.
Also already bought organics baby wash on sale at $1 each. Just waiting for baby to arrive
Breastfed DS for more than a year so didn't have to buy formula.
I'm going to make my own wipes. Got baby clothes, crib, stroller and a lot of other stuffs from my SILs.

I don't know if you have a mortgage, etc...but EI payments were enough to pay for my mortgage until I went back to work.

I didn't find I had to spend a lot of money when I had DS. Only thing that I find expensive is daycare! We always wanted at least 4 year gap which makes things easier financially as well. 1 kid in daycare at a time.

[wimbly11]

That's good advice. Did you guys have money in savings when you had the baby to use for things you needed?

[Frugalbigmama]

That's good advice. Did you guys have money in savings when you had the baby to use for things you needed?

Yes. And please make sure you have an emergency fund saved up before baby and don't touch it unless it's an emergency. Start living on what you would receive for EI now and save the difference. The last thing you want is a new baby and financial stress.

[wimbly11]

Can you get EI if you are off on unpaid maternity? How much do you get?


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[Midnightly]

you'll never be 100% ready but you have to look at the basics.. will you be off for 5yrs until they go to school or will you do some sort of care? (can you afford this, can you afford to be a single income if one decides to stay home) can you make it from 1 paycheck to the next without struggling??(having a child will easily add another 100-200 a month in basic consumables... diapers, formula... then add in a bit every month as the child grows.. even second hand with coupons) you don't have to be well off BUT you don't want to be struggling just to buy a bag of diapers. are you in a comfy enough position that you can add another to your lifestyle (car not falling apart, have a home large enough.. aka not living in a small 1 bedroom apartment) are you willing and ready to put away the single freedom part of your life (being able to go out to the movies/out for drinks with friends.. weekend getaways/personal hobbies) because having a kid is great but it also ties you down

for EI try to work as much as possible before you get pregnant/while pregnant because you can get maternity leave and parental leave which together is about 50 weeks paid (and you don't HAVE to go back to work after but it does help) for us my hubby took the parental side of the leave and allowed him to have about 8 months off while working a weekend shift to top up enough to live off of (EI leave doesn't give you a whole ton)

[Peachykeen2007]

like others said no one is ever "ready" to have kids

I am a single mom of 2 and if I can do it, so can you! I had a 1200 mortgage by myself with my second child and while things were tough at times, it just made me budget to the fullest and coupon even harder - all the little things that everyone takes for granted everyday like a $2 coffee add up when you cut it out

My kids are 3 and 6 and the BIGGEST expense that I had and still have is daycare till this day

With sales, coupons, loyalty cards (SDM) etc the expenses of formula/food & diapers was a breeze!

You will also receive (remember to file) for your child's baby tax that you will receive monthly until they are 18yrs old and the $100 universal child care credit until they are 6yrs old - both these will help out financially for your baby every month

Also my mother wasn't to thrilled about my ex either and guess what, it ALL changed the minute my kids were born, especially if it will be your mother's first grandchild!!

P.S. - once you have your child in your arms for the first time, moms just know what to do and will do pretty much anything for their baby , I am sure you will be fine and good luck

[Vicki Shins]

A friend of mine was having a similar dilemma and I didn't know what to say to her. Now I know.

[wimbly11]

You guys have wonderful advice. Thanks for the info on the tax credits. I didn't know about those. I will definitely be ramping up my couponing to get extra savings.

My mother is a very strange woman. I am divorced which is where our falling out happened. She would have rathered I stay miserable than leave. I choose to leave and now I am happier than I have ever been although my relationship with my mom has suffered drastically. I hope that when she sees her grandchild that will change.


How does EI work. Is it a percentage of why you were making? I don't know a whole lot about it...


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[Peachykeen2007]

http://www.servicecanada.gc.ca/eng/e...tal.shtml#much


mine worked out to about 40% of my gross wage, also DO NOT get paid out your vacation pay on your last check before you go on maternity leave as the government will deduct that from your first EI payment and you also almost wait a month for the first check to come so get all your forms submitted as early as possible


here are the other links - I know last year someone had posted they didn't know about these credits either so not too sure why it varies from province to province but here in Winnipeg these forms where handed to me to fill out the day after my baby was born along with the registration of birth forms

also don't forget to get a birth certificate and SIN number as soon as possible as to not hold up any credits you may receive


child tax benefit - http://www.cra-arc.gc.ca/bnfts/cctb/menu-eng.html
universal child care - http://www.cra-arc.gc.ca/bnfts/uccb-puge/menu-eng.html

[wimbly11]

Thank you so much Peachykeen!!!

[wimbly11]

So I was thrown for a little bit of a loop last night. Myself and my boyfriend have always known that we want to get married. However, we had said that we would probably try for kids before that because we hadn't planned to get married anytime soon because we are saving for our house. I casually asked him last night how he felt about kids before marriage. He has a kid from a pervious relationship (they weren't married) so I didn't think it was really something he was concerned about. However, he admitted to me that there was part of him that wants to do this right. He said that he respects me and thinks that I deserve to have this done right.

I have no doubts that I want to get married. However, here's my problem. We are not engaged yet and there are no plans made for marriage. However, I am 30 and he is 40. I feel like now is the time to start trying for our family, I don't want to let too much time pass. Even if we got engaged today, a wedding won't happen two months down the road. Part of me would love to be married first, however, I don't want to push this back another year or two.

I'm so confused